h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Book Title.

Bubbles in the bath!

By Arthur Windybottom

Overnight there were was a blanket of stratus cloudy skies but by the time I woke up after 8pm there was clear skies as I mist the overnight and early morning fog.

Sorry that should have been I woke after 8 am.

I am so old now I only have foggy memories left about the period before the mists of time

A bloke said to me - your dense! I replied It's Dennis actually

Not as dense as lead.

You can lead a to the water but you can't water lead

Lead astray ? therefore Lead didn't know about Sat-Nav

Lead ashtray: double health hazard.

Only if you lick it.
You know: Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray
- - -
Betraying while trading trays is not a common trait

I'm intelligent! I got that one trait away

'Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray'

I can confidently say that I have experience neither and would like to keep it that way.

I have kissed a number of smokers myself in my time but then I used to be a smoker myself so that evened it out.
As for licking ashtrays I don't remember doing that but there's a lot I have forgotten so there is that.
- - -
Now back to puns:
My charming spirit animal is with me in spirit. Literally. A snake in a jar of alcohol on my desk. You might call me a spiritual snake charmer.

Smoke in the mouth

Nowhere near as good as "Smoke in the water" By Deep Purple..

I wonder if I should tell my colleague that there is a difference between a climactic chamber and a climatic chamber...

It's late and the shop is many giant steps away so get your stilton and let's go!