h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Where do they keep the cigars?"

"At tobacco the store"

lets steal the cigars!
do we cheroot the storekeeper ?

my son Teflon was sent home from school, he wouldn't stick to the timetable

I hope they didn't make him wok home.

I saw something similar to moss the other day, but I didn't know what to lichen it to.

A tree arborist felt needled when asked to branch out and be limber while trimming pine forest last week.

Cutting trees, the woodsman strained the lumbar region in his back.

The way he fawned over her was quite endearing.

Two meteorologists each broke an arm and a leg in an accident and called from the hospital about the four casts.

When Noah was a young man, he was crowned king. He had a long rain.

Joiners have joined up thinking and level headed with no screws loose but if they come down hard, don't worry it's because they are aesthetically pleasing people.

Joiners listen to recordings of the Carpenters on their DVD player whilst carving the Sunday joint.

When a fire broke out in the barber shop it was a close shave but everyone got out by a whisker.

school was far away, he wanted to fry there, skillet he accepted to stay at home and as you say - wok there

I told the barber I wanted a hair cut.

He asked me which one.

From the carpenters' songbook:

The First Time Ever I Saw your Plank - Roberta Flack
I’m Still Sanding - Elton John
Love Me Tenon - Elvis Presley

You needed a great deal of skill when tossing the pancake in the skillet pan at the right moment or it could be a total flop and fall on the floor.

A busy barber is quite harried.

Mortis Mortise, the expert joiner carpenter would charge customers a tenor to show them how to make a mortise and tenon joint.

The divorcing pair held their knees when the judge approved joint custody.