h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I was in a Paris hospital and tried to strike up a conversation with a janitor.

"Who are you?" I asked in French.

"Germ mop pail Pierre," he replied.

nice one

Ghoulileo
that one that is

I decided to sail from Paris back to America. I saw a passenger at the rail, throwing up.

When I asked who he was, he said "Mal DeMer."

he had his cousins with him - huey and bill

- What happened to you, Quasimodo?
- The Bishop is what. I gave him a hunch - but he gave me a hunch back

- Dad, it's so cold in here!
- Well, go stand in the corner.
- But why?
- It's 90 degrees

That sounds right. Any less, and you'd have acute hypothermia.

hypothermia ? that's just to the left of Bulgaria ain't it ?

We've experienced his antics for so many years they've become antiques

- Were are your funny boxers?
- In my jest of drawers

- Do you want me to be mummy?
- Yes, but we've run out of gauze

"It's so cold, I think I have acute hypothermia."

"It doesn't look so cute to me!"

I sat down and with my beady eyes looked down to my shoes and saw that my shoe laces were untied and then tied then and made two pretty bows. Then I braced myself to make sets of bead necklaces and bracelets

The department head had a weekly meeting to get his scientists positively charged.

Ms. Earhart's loss to aviation could never be ameliorated.

From the shoemaker's songbook:

Sandal in the Wind - Elton John
This Sole House - Shakin’ Stevens
Lace Oddity - David Bowie

You left out Nancy Sinatra's song about boots that are made for walking.

And Paul Simon's diamonds on the soles of her shoes\
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-I_T3XvzPaM

Oh, wait, those aren't puns. Sorry.

I didn't mean to sabot-age this thread.....

don't worry Paul - say you had hiccupsand it made you click the wrong thread)

bananas make good slippers and I had 2 flamingos on my feet, they were waders

The woman who lived in a shoe was fairly straightlacesd