h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

did you have a seaside order of french fries ?

I played tennis with the ocean, and lost every time because of its wicked surf.

I was beach-combing and the seaweed on me

Life's a beach and then you die.

they made sand castles, I made a sand - I was hungry

The witch turned herself into a broom.
I said she looked silly, and she bristled.

must have called her broomhilda (Brunhilde)

Sue who is a barrister turned cook is also now a barrista (barista) and a sue chef.

Gladys the seamstress was recently inducted into the Pin Pushers Hall of Fame. I guess now she is a status thimble.

On the sideboard there was a selection of side dishes with two large jugs of organic sider (cider) which was for a seance party which was a very spirited affair. There was a happy medium and whenever there was a dispute, the ghosts would never take sides during the arguments. The spirits were super neutral and it was quite a spectre-acle (spectacle).

I was Chairman of the Board. I set up chairs for the meeting, and I was bored as I sat through it.

I walked in carrying 4 X 12ft planks I'd heard it was a board meeting

The Board room was used once every four years. I sawdust when I went in to get it ready for the next meeting.

max planck didn't turn up

I moved to Holland with my hamster , but someone put a curse on it. I didn't like having my hamsterdamned.

The Surf board committee members found the address by the board chairperson to very boaring especially when they chairperson kept on asking members if they are on board to travel abroad to the various international surfing competitions by going aboard a cruise ship.

I like strawberry jam, but not hampsterjam from Holland

There are prominent fat-reduction doctors in Holland. Many women go tuliposuction clinics there.

I learned how to make the perfect Hollandaise when I went on holiday to Holland with members of the work's company but even though we dined together we would go dutch when it comes to paying the restaurant bill.

The perfect way of preserving fruit is to always weigh the ingredients before hand and put them in bowls ready for the time when you need to use them. Then when you are ready to start making fruit preserves and conserves, you will have the ingredients ready. This will be less time consuming and you will not get in a pickle or get yourself in a sticky situation when putting the fruit into the pan and won't be a jarring experience. When the fruit mixture is ready you can put them into the sterilised jars and then you will have time to go on a jamming session with your friends.