h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

“Don't find the time to cry for me, don't find the words to speak for me, don't find the nerve to feel for me, just get the f*** away from me”

TDOR <mouse

ah, sorry, that should have been f***, for all you sensitive souls out there. i know its not really funny but i was feeling a bit down to day and it really cheered me up. (note: i have a very wared sense of humour) lol tdor

If you take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.

"e=mc2, allegedly" - President Bushe's inaugaral speech to World Scientist Convention.

"B***** h*** thats big"

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

Groucho Marx

on the subject of the president:

"books are good. sometimes they have fantastic pictures"

"god made me do it"

"it is clear that the terrorists that are comitting these crimes and murders are the killers and terroritst who are responsible for them and are commiting these atrocities"

Maybe not smile - but definitely nod in agreement ...

"We have just enough religion to make us hate but not enough religion to make us love one another" - Jonathan Swift.

I'm not smart, I just know what words mean

by unknown

Time is on my side,
but I wish it would move,
as it makes it hard to turn over...

"Sand is overrated. It's just little rocks" - Eternal Sunshine

ok, this is a little bit rude, so if you are of a gentle disposition i suggest you look away now TDOR

Confucius say, virginity like bubble. One prick - all gone

Confucius say, man who do business in whore house get jerked around

Confucius say, baseball wrong. Man with four balls not able to walk

Confucius say, war not determine who right. War determine who left

Confucius say, woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house

Confucius say, it take many nail to build crib, one screw to fill it

Confucius say, boy who go to sleep with sex problem on mind wake up with solution in hand

Confucius say, two wrongs not make right, but two rights make U-turn

HEY BABE TAKE A WALK ON THE WILD SIDE,YEAH BABE TAKE A WALK ON THE WILD SIDE.AND THE COLORED GIRLS SAY,DOOT DOOTDOOT DOO DOOT.....

"Is that a real poncho, or is that a Sears poncho?"

"quotations are an exellent substitute for wit"

THATS FUNNIER THAN A ONE LEGGED MAN IN AN ASS KICKIN CONTEST.

"I ain't illiterate, I know who my daddy is."

LIFE IS LIKE, A BOX OF CHOCO LATE,SOME TIMES YOU GET SOMMMME

richtarzan ....

While surfing the net, typing in all caps is perceived of as shouting, and may be considered a little rude ....

my home pc has a broken caps lock button,sorry for screeming at everyone.if a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound?