h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

... with a deathly outcome...

Life: proven fatal in 100% of all known cases.

I may actually have read that on here somewhere...

'relationships. one of those things where i always think 'it will never happen to me'. bit like lung cancer in that respect.'

l.j. lewalski

"i resemble that remark"-Yogi Berra


"its like de javu all over again"Casey STtengall

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be"

Douglas Adams

Why are we here?

Because we're not all there!!!

Anon

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

The Mad Hatter

a woman once looked harshly at Winston Churchhill and said
"You're drunk"

He replied:

"And you're ugly, but in the morning I'll be sober."

He came up with some goodies, did our Winnie. My fave is:

Angry woman: if you were my husband I'd put poison in your coffee

WC: and if you were my wife I'd drink it

I've heard that one before

It's still funny

I once shot an elephant in my pyjamas, how it got into my pyjamas i'll never know.

Groucho Marx

yes

im here

i have a quote "my evilbunnys will eat you" said by me

i have a good quote

WHY DRINK AND DRIVE WHEN U CAN SPOKE AND FLY

why smoke and fly when you can eat and do nothing

heres a quote which sais alot to me who the hell cares

famous quote from ben "f~*K off"

you are being sanctified by the squad