h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I feel the need for a sort of back-stage chill-out zone, filled with comfy red sofas, where we contestants can pace up and down anxiously, pulling on virutal cigarettes while waiting to be interviewed by Dermot O'Leary, so we can tell him what an amaaaaazing journey it's been...

What are virutal cigarettes? And who is Dermott O'Leary?

I'll supply a bowl of nuts and a bottle of if anybody cares to join me

Dermott O'Leary? Didn't he play for Arsenal and Ireland?

i shall make some and sit out of the way of virutal cigarette smoke.

mini

Ms GB

is this where we talk about The Journey, diss the judges and ogle Brucie or/and Tess?

Where is Brucie?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/tv_film/newsid_3031000/3031235.stm

The boy Dermot, for those lucky non-UKians who don't recognise the name.

Talking of Brucie - does anyone listen to The Castle? It's a Radio 4 comedy show set in Ye Olden Dayes of Yore. Last week they were entering a dance competition called Strictly Come Gavotting, presented by Bruce Forsooth

So what do we all think of the standard so far? To be honest, having read everyone's submissions, I'm reaching for the brown trousers.

brown trousers? please explain psychop.

personally i think i have gotten myself into some deep water, but thats the best way to learn to swim eh, jump in the deep end and just hope you float.

mini

I'm in awe of the very high standard - and who'd've thunk you would get such a wide variety of entries inspried by the word shell? Muchos applause

*pulls up a large leather armchair, a glass of brandy and an enormous virtual cigar*

I'd agree that it's a very high standard. But we expected that from you guys anyway

It does make judging, and particularly scoring, very difficult. Pieces that you'd see in a review forum and think 'wow' won't necessarily get high scores in The Stretcher - the only way to grade entries as good as these in any meaningful way is to rate them against one another. So a low score isn't necessarily going to mean a bad piece, more that it suffers in comparison to the others.

To the likes of minichessemouse and Psycorp, I would say that you're already winners. It takes a lot of courage to enter something like this - I'm not entirely certain that I'd have entered had it been someone else's idea - and for that alone I'm deeply impressed with every one of you. Some people have pushed themselves into unknown territory and experimented, and for that's as much what this is about as great writing is. Whoever goes out in the first round is still going to have achieved an awful lot here.

And I think everyone's attitude has been great. You guys have been going round, reading one another's pieces, commenting on them, improving your rivals' work. That's something I really didn't expect, and it's been wonderful to see.

*notices the sign on the door*

Oh, I do apologise. I shouldn't be here, should I?

ach i think you can stay, i mean GB was ing somewhere further up the thread.

mini

and i suppose now that we have all published out efforts we have to sit for a week and endure the agonising wait to hear what the judges thought and to receive the next challenge.

well if that the case, passs the someone.

mini

Here you go:

mini

Well, I have to do something nice at some point

Will the judges provide us with brown trousers?
*Goes to check r riders*

hah i think your bark is worse than your bite, your really a big softie im sure.

mini

You sound more hopeful than convinced, mini