h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So that's the end of the gnus.

Is it time for the weather now?

Hazel bounds up to Legers and excitedly asks him what his favourite sport is. Sadly, she is deeply unimpressed by his sunglasses as they tend to be a bit of a drawback when playing most sports.

Legers replays that he plays any sport as long as he can keep his suit and sunglasses on. At least sunglasses.

Akira, weather is unexpectedly dark

Hazel is perplexed by this answer but cheers up a bit when Legers starts hanging a poster on the wall. It is of a girl in tennis clothes, but sadly she is not shown in play but rather seems to be looking for a new ball.

CG is still admiring the water feature. Very closely. Magster is reading to them from her bible but they are not really listening.

Peter thoughtfully examines the sky. Maybe it will, maybe it won't , he thinks.

Pat giggles at Akira's gnus/weather joke, and then wonders whether he should play any of his cards. They're not very good ones.

Hazel approaches Pat a little cautiously. She is beginning to wonder if her enthusiam for sports is putting people off. She decides to try a more subtle approach. As a last minute thought she removes her sweatband.

She greets Pat and asks him if there is any kind of physical activity he is fond of.

Pat seems distraught that Hazel's enthusiasm for sports appears to have waned: "Damn, just when she was coming round to my way of thinking" he thinks.

Still, he decides to try his luck, and says to Hazel: "Oh, all sorts. Can I show you my googly, my backhand boast, or the way I can speedily flick a pass off my left hand?"

Hazels's bemused look is far from encouraging..............

[Hazel: home time: catch you tomorrow].

BB may now continue...................

...but Hazel knows differently.

Little does Pat Pen know that Hazel invented the 'googly', taught Muhammed Ali how to box and Michael Schumacher how to drive, invented rugby and was the original presenter of Match of the Day.

She sighs, but knows full well that she named the 'googly' after a cat of hers and asks in a quavering voice.

"Pat, I know nothing about anything. Please tell me everything you know; I want you to be my teacher. I want to know everything about cr***et. I want to be your special pupil."

She gazes upwards with doe-eyed innocence at Pat Pen, who...

Goood Morning hall-and what a great morning it is again altho a bit of a breeze up i think it will get out.Pat-on hearing Hazels,plea clutches his bails even tighter "you...you...you mean you want to learn the noble art of cricket"he says in a John wayne-type voice which he as has been practicing in the mirror for quite a few years just for this occasion."well Hazel"he drawls"crickets a mans game its not just about hitting the ball with a piece of wood as 95% of the population think..you have to know how to throw the ball also".Hazels-eyes stare at Pats,torso for some reason she cant take her eyes of him.."gawd you mean you can throw balls too "Pat your my hero....my cricket hero".

... leads her out into the garden. Pat spends a few minutes walking her through the basics, which Hazel pretends to find fascinating, then lines himself up at the wicket.

Hazel fidgets around a bit then innocently bowls a legbreaker at Pat who tries to hit it and breaks his legs (aside: isn't the Internet wonderful?) Ali falls over laughing. Legers removes his sunglasses and polishes them.

Magster comes running up to Pat and administers the last rites: however things are not that serious. VMax takes the opportunity to ask CG if she has had enough yet, as he is getting Very tired...

Legers walks around pointing out, giving advices, and argues with Magster on what is the best way to stay down when one's leg is broken.

Pat, through bit of pain thinks how tiring it is to have a broken leg with everyone running around and worrying.

Pat also thinks: "That Hazel: what a complete trooper: learning about leg breaks n'all".

Meanwhile...............

.... inside the house a mysterious figure is lurking, adjusting his/her clothing, and wondering if it's time to make an entraance yet.

Hazel smiles modestly and makes Pat a splint out of some old wickets and a pair of football shorts.

...Magster comes bounding into the garden.

"Anyone for a game of mixed doubles?"

Pat, wincing in agony, volunteers but collapses in a heap when he tries to move. So it's Legers and AWAW.

Just as AWAW, who is paired with Hazel, is preparing to serve, the ambulance arrives. By complete coincidence...

... the ambulance driver is a part-time tennis umpire and volunteers to adjudicate. (aside: Ali I haven't "done" tennis yet so it may be rather a patchy game)

AWAW and Hazel position themselves quickly. Legers decides to leave on his sunglasses but removes his jacket. Magster is unsure whether to retain her dog-collar.

"Whoooosh!"

AWAW's serve whistles past Hazel's ear, hits the service line and kicks. Legers, who has kept his shades on despite the overcast weather, fails to see the ball and it hits him square in the...

... buttocks. This is because he was facing the wrong way so he could check his reflection in the windows. Magster decides that this is a sign from God that he does not wish her to indulge in such earthly past-times, and goes into the kitchen to cook a delicious meal for everyone. As Pat is injured, she will cook his favourite meal - roast potatoes with creamed potates and chips.

AWAW turns to Hazel and shrugs. What should they play now?

nose which inturn turns into something looking like a tomato. The ball however, instead of falling on the ground flies back towards Hazel...

*don't mind me last post*