h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Legers suggest to start a carting race. Apperantly he found a garage in the basement full of racing carts.

Magster decides to make little pizzas for appetaizers and while deciding what to play, everyone enjoys how lil' pizzas.

*that's OK Legers it's easy to get carried away in the excitement of the match *

*sweeeeeet*

Hazel chooses a pretty green go-cart. She decides not to tell anyone that she has not got a go-cart licence and will just trust to her natural instincts. Pat asks the ambulance driver for some pain-killers. He's not really in pain, but you never know.

Legers casts a practiced eye over the remaining vehicles, than he makes his move..

He come the the red hot car and pulls out into the small race track which also was located under the house. Neat, ain't it?

Pat-With his broken leg in plaster soldiers on like the trooper he is using his bat for a crutch."I'm allright dont fuss!"says Pat-in his new found John Wayne drawl"nothing can keep me from playing cricket..not even a broken leg you gals want to remember i've been playing cricket since i was a nipper i know where every other batsman in the county plays his balls when he's at the crease so dont worry i'll be allright".Pat walks out to the crease.....

Leaving Legers playing with his cart, Hazel wanders back into the house. She sits on the sofa with her 2 luxury items - a box of liquour Cherries and a copy of Wisden's Old Almanac, which tells you who is going to win all the c****et matches for the next 10000000000 years.

She hopes some of the other housemates will join her later, but not before she has eaten most of the chocs.

Leafing through her book, Hazel's attention starts to wander. She wonders how Legers is getting on with his carting. It seems strangely quiet outside.

She folds down the page in her book and saunters over to the window. No sign.

Growing slightly alarmed, Hazel makes for the door but it opens before she reaches it. Pat stands before her, his face frozen with shock.

"Pat," cries Hazel, "What has happened?"

Pat starts to jabber incoherently, and points towards the water feature. Hazel notices that his leg appears to have healed, but she doesn't have time to think about this.

She looks to where he is pointing. CG appears to be demonstrating soemthing to a fascinated audience of Legers, VMax and AWAW. But what is it? And what is that strange buzzing noise? And why on earth is Pat so scared?

She wishes some-one who explain....

Realisation then dawns upon Haze: CG has finally decided that painting is not for her and her wonderful new job at Ann Summers has started. The buzzing continues and the breathing, in staccato bursts, grows louder...

Horrified, Hazel seeks the sanctuary of the diary room, where she finds Magster who sits motionless with her head in her hands and her dog collar lying on the table in front of her. Her tennis racket lies in several pieces at her feet.

"What happened, Magster?" asks an increasingly perplexed Hazel.

Apperently CG managed to win in Cricket against Pat,who in turn is now in somewhat of a shock. Legers, Vmax, and AWAW, who were witnesses of this mind blowing game are now listening to CG talking about how easy it was and what was felt through out the game.

The buzzing noise came from the kitchen and later was found out to be a mixer mixxing a beuatfil stawberries with whipped cream...

Now Hazel really IS confused. Is the noise Ann Summers appliances or a harmless kitchen implement? Is that really Magster in front of her or is it an apparition?? Who has eaten all the Cherry Liquours???

Hazel decides to talk to BB. She explains about all the strange things that have been happening lately, and wonders if it all started when she decided to become interested in Sports. Perhaps she has upset some fundamental rule of nature?

Meanwhile....

It has been the intersection of two parallel universes. At BB there is a double of each person and something MUST be done to turn everything back. Legers don't like Legers, and Pat's best friend is a Pat!!!
Can we bear two Pats at once?

A loud scream is heard.

Hazel, startled, looks up. It seems to have come from LLB's room. Nothing new there but this scream seemed different to her normal high-pitched wail. This sounds like a shriek of despair. Is the strange bowler-hatted man still in the shed?

A loud thump, a tinkle of glass, and...

Hazel remembers all the horror films she has ever seen. People always do the most obviously stupid things, like walking into the cellar without putting the lights on. Well, she's not going to fall for that one!

Boldly, she walks into the living room and turns all the lights ON. She firmly grasps her trusty c****et bat and shouts out in a loud, yet calm, voice: "If there's anybody here come out NOW! Or else.... or else...." her courage begins to fade, but she continues "or ELSE I'll tell you who's going to win all the c****et matches for the next 10000000000 years!"

...and like most people in cheesy horror movies Hazel she DOESN'T LOOK BEHIND HER and she nearly jumps out of her skin when a hand grabs her shoulder...

It's only Magster. Phew!

The lights suddenly go out and - as in cheesy horror movies - everything goes dark just as it becomes interesting.

Footsteps echo throughout the house, and they seem to be coming closer...

Loud scream is in the air again though this time it has even more dispair and is much more high pitched. In horror of C****et scoring for the next MANY year man in a bowller hat runs out from under the table and...

Hazel asks Magster in a trembling voice what they should do now. In reply, Magster puts her hands together and begins to pray. Hazel cam only remember Hail Mary but it doesn't seem right, somehow. The footsteps get closer and closer....... Hazel decides on a diversionary tactic "Thers's some silk scarves,,, and a hairbrush... and some feathers... in LLBs room" she calls out...

The footsteps are getting very close Hazel-hides her face in her hands waiting for the worst..who could it be?what could it be? she looks between her fingers and see this figure dressed in white."dont be scared Hazel..its me Pat,i've lost me ball have you seen it"."No!"said Hazel,"and i dont want to you...you monster".

Hello all
I think we need a brake from BB. what ya think?