h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi, Boots. I'm Pinniped. You seemed to like my piece in the Post last week, for which I wanted to say thanks.

You liking it here? You come at an interesting time (now there's a portent-loaded phrase). The would-be creative writers are having one of their periodic waves of disquiet. The encyclopaedists are watching us anxiously (I wish...)

Catch you around. For now, unfortunately, work beckons.

Pinniped

Hi Pinniped, Yes I did like your piece...loads. Are you a regular contributor? I love the site. My only worry is the bizzare copyright. It would seem the beeb can do what they like with anything you send in.
When your piece was on the radio (missed unfortunately), did you get at the very least a credit/acknowledgement and preferably also a fee?
Not only 'useless', but also 'very cynical' hound thinks perhaps a site fed by eager wannabees and run almost entirely by volunteers, who sift out the dross, then present the best,(subjectively)is an excellent source of new and inexpensive ideas for the beeb.
Your thoughts please.
take care
Boots

Hi Boots,
I added things up and belatedly realised that two neat pieces in recent Posts (Birth + Wrapping Paper) are both yours. Note only that, but getting stuff in within a couple of weeks of joining (must be) is pretty impressive in itself.
I like both pieces a lot. They sound pretty heartfelt. Painful, even...

I "contribute" fairly often, yeah. In the Post itself, I had a regular slot in late 2001, but it was getting jaded, so I bowed out. I like to try out Entries in different styles. The Edited Guide doesn't appeal much, but I've got one EGE that's truly mine and one other that I started. Conversations, puzzle threads, haikus; the various RP threads, it's all good fun. Most people are made welcome in most places. There's the odd tight clique and the odd weirdo, but they're the exception.

You understand the copyright position correctly - to post here, we all need to understand that we're giving our stuff away. But as for the Beeb using it, we wish!
I guess I confused you about the radio thing. I didn't write or contribute in any way to the Selkie stuff. I just happen to have a seal avatar, who tends to get a bit excited about these things. To be honest, the Beeb or anyone else plagiarising my stuff would be a bit of a dream come true.
I don't know of any instance of stuff first posted here being broadcast or published by the BBC. (Not to say it doesn't happen - Shazz'd probably know).

Anyway, you have to keep this up, yeah? I'll try help in any way I can if you just ask.

See you around
Pin

Thanks Pinniped. Helped a lot. Thank you for that and for kind (unworthy)praise. Sorry about my confusion over the seal issue, still not sure what all the text style abbreviations mean and hopeless at smilies! Don't think you should underestimate yourself however and while dreams coming true may sustain the spirit, they doth not pay the internet connection fee! It seems a really friendly and encouraging site. Like yourself I love to write (poorly) in many styles and once I have sorted the 'boosted ego versus possible plagiarising' debate, will submit more articles. Would love to hear Shazz's take on it.
Take care
Boots.

Hi Boots
You're obviously serious about writing, from the sound of your contacts.
Do you have an agent?
I could use some advice on how to deal with that world...
Pin

Hi Pin.
Yup pretty serious...apparantly I am otherwise unemployable. In a previous life I was a thesp and lucky enough to have an agent. When I asked him to find me a literary agent...his response was 'You're still on our books. Turns out they are also literary agents, but not in the same genre I hope to write in. All heart Mr ten per cent. No real advantage in having him in the early stages...well at least not mine. His philosophy is 'You send it off to publishers and when you get a tickle, we'll negotiate'...Cheers mate. I get the stamp and rejection slip detail and you get the guaranteed no effort ten per cent! He is 'write' though and, should you be lucky enough to ever get published, he could save your fortune. Many famous writers (I believe Iris Murdoch included) did appalling deals with publishers and ended up with virtualy nothing. The best advice I have had to date came from h2g2, Sir Bos or Spiff (I think) Sorry Shazz if it was you.
Get a copy of the writers and artists year book...the one with the bright red cover. Trawl through and you will get a feel for the publishers most in tune. Mmmm think I feel an article on rejection slips and other messy pifalls coming on! Will try and send something in for the weekend. Keep writing
Take care
Boots

...Ahem...

Allow me to introduce myself, ma'am. I am the Speak-Your-Weight-Machine...

* ripples impressively *

...I couldn't help but notice your foray into RP a moment ago. Unfortunately this appeared to be accompanied by what can only be described as cat-like noises.

To take the side of the Cats would be an unfortunate mistake, I fear. And quite out of keeping, ma'am, with your obvious canine credentials.

Association with Pinniped? Well, that would imply a different degree of recklessness altogether.

(I hope you stamped on that b***dy limpet, BTW. I have rolled over it several times already, but unfortunately to no avail whatsoever)

I remain, etc, respectfully Yrs,
SYWM

prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr sorry. Thank you for my weight, worth of course in gold. Day beckons... the night was long. must go....I'm late, I'm late...it's time for tea (hee).

Mmmm...me too...the Weddell wants her coffee...
Pin

Hi Boots...

...Chaucer, yeah?
(I'm sorry. I completely forgot)
Dunno about Tom Woolfe and the Acid and the Koolade, but I tried this :
A994287
Anywhere near the mark? If we get it as we want it, we could put it in the Co-operative WW.
Needs a title. Thought of "Antidote to the Droght of Marche" but maybe that's too precious. Yeah, "Maybe". Like, duh...
If you like it, I'll switch Hermione to Perdita in my piece, then it'll more or less flow as-is.
Yeah?
(I think we'll let Aquuq fester a bit for now, the Essex thing. Now it's got really weird. I need to drink a bit less, I reckon)
Pin

Well you've ceratinly thrown down the gauntlet...if I have any strength left by the weekend(weight watchers has removed most of it) will done my travellers cloak and trawl around the memory banks..mmmmm methinks at least one of 'the parents' could be a useful satrting point and probably at least two of the offsprung mixed with a couple of anal friends....Boots rambles...ciya (cool sign off)
Boots

Hi Pin
Saw you lurking so thought it polite to pop in and catch up.Useless at threads so clambered onto old lifeboat that happened to drift past. Three weeks two days...(no I am not going down the hours and minutes road)...and I am still breathing in and out...that is good. I am also finally on my own...you can't count the cat from hell. We have to keep an eye on that wretched deckchair methinks...he is rather good wot!
take care
boots

Hi Boots

Great to see you!

Yep, Dr Funderlik is indeed good. We'll sort him out with some nice stifling advice from his elders and betters, though, so that'll be all right

You're probably getting all you need on the topical subject, yeah? So no more from me (at least, unless you choose to bring it up).

I got my first rejection slip of the new season on Saturday. It's quite a pretty one, though. I think it's an original print-out rather than a photocopy, even if it doesn't have any hand-writing or a suggestion of a personalised message.

And like a zillion wannabes before me, I find a wry smile and console myself that such-and-such an idiot had the first chance to sign up the best thing I've yet written, and he blew it, and he'll never be able to live with himself once I achieve my deserved ultra-Rowling fame and fortune.

Do I believe it? You bet I believe it. That's the main thing.

Pin

Bastards! Power to your pen (or should that be Pin?) I say.
Perhaps we should work on a collaborative rejection slip collage for the Turner prize?! Mine is most splendid...Barefoot books, Oxford university press, Chicken something or other...(Barry Cunningham who signed the redoubtable JK and then set up new publishing house on his enormous bonus!) and many more. Philestines the lot of them! Children's books very hard to break into and bootsesque (Jodan's description) style not hugely appreciated by publishers. Children on the other hand find it highy amusing but then they always were more intelligent!
Have had a good day today and lurked apace. Was most startled to see how many good peeps had read 'tomorrow' and the reaction. Probably should not have posted as I said...very disjointed but then I was, and needed to do something that I did. It pleased the young pups and Baleesha who also writs and it was for Ravager. Feel I can do a security towel post next week in comfortable voice. Thank you for being a champion.
Take care
boots

The best one I ever saw went to a good friend - who does, I must admit, write some pretty strange stuff.
The not-to-be-publisher sent the standard impersonal cant, but someone had at least felt the urge to write on it "not so much a rejection slip as a restraining order".
Pin

Excellent!
night night
boots

Well, I said "no more from me" about your loss.

I just read your Journal, though.

A few weeks ago, I'd have said I already had a fair handle on courage, dignity and how to write.

Thanks for raising our sights, Boots.

Pin

Dear God I'm turning into a veritable Pollyanna!
Ok reasons to be writing part one.
1) I need to. I can wring hands round the house and rail out loud but it hurts. If I write the pain eases as the discipline kicks in...that'll be don't feel sorry for me this is my wallowing. Bad punctuation and grammar but wallowing nonetheless. (See just posting it has made me feel better)
2) If expressing my emotional turmoil helps just one person either now or in their future to feel infintesimally (sorry about the spelling) better when something like this happens/has happened to them, it is worth it. I can't do poetry but perhaps I can do soul baring. I have a magnificent RL friend who pushes the best and most painful buttons to help ease everyones pain (her own must be awesome). She helps heroically...all of us.
3) If wot I writs makes people look at this site as a proper writing site and not just a mausoleum to the meomory of the dear and departed DNA who (were he still alive) would without doubt rant and rave over its direction...excuse me he was a writer who wanted to get published...not a God (whoops feel many daggers heading my way but perhaps they won't pick up on this thread), then my latent political leanings will be sated or moderately satisfied.
4) It is just cool. I am not Pollyanna but I do like lots of peeps wot lurk and they do make me feel better...well alive at any rate!
Take care
Bolshy boots (who is obviously not having a leaky eye moment!)

Hey Boots
I dusted off a little homage to the keenest observer of manners I know.
A1072964
I hope you find it the sincerest form of flattery, anyway.
Pin

Oh I do empathise so dahling. Are you sure this is the 45? It seems a little too witty. Perhaps we should have gone for the 51 slightly more bite as I remember. The botox looks wonderful...hardly a line dahling, I suppose it was too difficult for them to work on the corners of the mouth..Oh you were chewing on the lemon were you? so sorry...yes it does have that effect on one. Ah the trousers? Yes they are a size eight Amazing isn't it? and there was me thinking I was such a porker...it's this wonderful diet I've discovered...no truly, I've had a word with Mr Ponsonby Smythe...that's right my Harley street chappie. He's suggested we send it into Channel four as an idea for a new reality television show. Imagine the spin offs...the book...the video...the advertising rights. Cannes and the Carribean (St Kitts natch) here we come! No I promise you absolutely no will power required. You can eat and drink what you like and the pounds just fall off...isn't it just too exciting! The secret? Oh so simple...just lose a husband. What? Oh no you have to be at least rather fond of him...divorce doesn't count...unless of course he leaves you... which would be just inconceivable...no it has to be terminal. Another glass of the 45 my dear?

Oh Pin you are a tonic. Pants day yesterday...leaky face all day but I'm in front 3 to 2 are the current odds.
Might not make the post deadline as RL proving quite time consuming but have had a lovely day today with Ravager and have built him whole collage (don't you dare call it a shrine!) which now looks at me as I tap. Have to be up at 3 am tomorrow so think attempt at sleep is in order. Have moved computer from little bedroon into our bedroom as don't think summer security blanket house guests will appreciate my invading small bedroom at 2 am, lighting necessary cigarette and going on line. Logistics of move not quite sorted. No back rest and no light...hey ho sort that one out tomorrow. Thank you for being here.
take care
boots (with backache)

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