h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Salutes*

Nice to see you Sir, do you think we should be issued with hi tech longbows

*note to self, check wardrobe for Lincoln Green dresses*

Not today Reefgirl ask Dragantha if she would wish to research it

what do you want SG3 to do do you want us to go and take out the forest-men

If we come onto some heavy resistance yes, but for now stay with SG-2 and 7 to guard the gate and protect them. Don't worry your services shall be required soon once we find this New Babylon built by Darth Zaphod.

I have only used a simple bow and arrow and that was over 20 years ago. Will there be any special weapons training in using crossbows?

JA

Are there any members of the SG1 exploration team here?

JA

Craxus is over there somewhere

*waves vaguely in opposite direction*

I have some special infra red/bio reader binoculars here for anyone to have. There are enough for everyone. I have some specially vitamin/protein/mineral enriched water in their various thermal bottles. I have had basic weapon training but that was 7 years ago. They told me I had a natural gift in weapon handling.

I have some hand held data pads that give bio-feed back and you can record verbally any information about the area etc into it.

JA

*comes Stumblin in*

arright
ok
what i miss ??
i heard my name
who needed me ????

*apears*

yes ?

The reason I brought this special modified water is so that eveyone is receiving their daily vitamin/mineral & protien quotas ensuring that everyone is kept healthy.

JA

Hello Dragantha I am just showing you some of the items I have invented for the use of SG1 and all SG teams. Here are some hand held bio readers that are the size of an tv remote control and you can fold them in half. They are very accurate and have a range of 400 miles.

Ja

I have other ideas in the pipe line dealing with archaelogy, lanuages and cultures. I am still improving the slip stream engines for space craft as well as improving ways of using the Stargate.

I am not going to be very good on diplomatic missions as I am too shy.

JA

The water can be flavoured to anything of your like. I have also put special antioxides and immune boasters so that it improves team members immune and cardiac systems.

JA

I am still awaiting orders. BTW my fields are archaelogy, astro physics and quantum mechanics.

I am still trying to record as much data as possible on my various bio-readers/scanners. I am very nervous at talking to strangers. I wonder will anyone try my nutritional mineral water. This place reminds of the woods in Northumbria especially North Northumbria. Its very nice and I hear such beautiful bird song. There does not seem to be anyone in sight. My scanners do not read any one coming.

JA

I have come back after a recce of the place. I have picked up varous samples of flora around and tried sample some of the fruit on the trees and bushes.

I still have not seen anyone yet. I wonder if I am in the wrong area.


JA

I have taken some parcetamol for my . I am making an attempt to make pancakes, I am doing sugar and cinnamon and one with lemon juice only. I can do savoury ones on request. Where has everyone gone?

JA

Hmm the very good. I have even used ones with Golden Syrup and Maple Syrup. Well if noone turns up I am going to them all myself.

JA

*the stargate starts dialling up the chevrons, SG-3 moves in to protective cover positions and point their P-90's at the gate. through steps creachy.*

sorry i am late, got kinda held up in the worm hole thingy. traffic, you know. you can stop pointing those at me now.
*SG-3 lower their weapons.*
so, has anyone discovered anything nice?
*picks up one of JA's bio-readers*

hmmm, could be handy, do you mind if i keep this one?

*takes another look at the binary stars and sighs with wonderment.*

i bet you could get one hell of a tan with those babies?

Yes sir, you may have one of the bio-readers. Yes I have made a report of the recce I have made. There is an temple about 400 metres in the North direction and I have picked up samples of flora. I have even sampled some of the fruit from the trees and shrubs. I have met anyone here.

Yes it's been a very long time since I have done any sunbathing and that was once when I was 13 for 5 minutes.

JA