h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

well corporal, kit up cos we are gonna go check the origin of this temple. with any luck, you could catch some bathing time when we finish.

you lead the way.

creachy

Sir would like anything to drink or eat before you join the others. I have made some more pancakes over here.

JA

Yes Sir, I will assemble my kit together and go to the temple.

JA

Stay there at the gate, your doing a good job with the intial scans of the planet.

Send your team and SG-6 over to those ruins JA was talking about.

SG-1 lets check over by these caves I saw something I think....

*Comes through the Stargate* Hi, sorry I'm late. *Quickly heads off behind Craxus*.

Thank you Craxus.

JA

I'm about to log off for the night. Tell me if you find anything.

will do sir
*salutes*

right, Mystrunner, when you get here i have already gone to the temple to study the outer structure. i will not enter until you arrive and authorise it.
reefgirl, i have a feeling this is Go'auld. a temple certainly suggests their presence.

Ok Sir

*flips open palmtop*

it took me ages to programme this this, hmmmm it is familier

*palmtop whirrs*

yes here's a pic of the temple

*shows Creachy*

This is the temple of Hepshipsut (carefull how you say it please) she was a queen in the 3rd dynasty but in all paintings and hyrogliphs and the like she was represented as a man, a woman with a beard see

*show Creachy again*

anyway when she died and asended heaven she was represented as a cow and in some pictures she has a sun between her horns which suggests she was allied with Ra, so the upshot of all this is that the population worship a system lord (I've been watching the TV series, a perk of working nights) and I'll bet you a weeks wages that the Goa'uld are around here somewhere, nasty little insects

*salutes*

want me to send this report to Craxus and I think we should get hold of SG-3 too

what do you require sargent
if you want to assult the temple then i reccomend a joint assult between us and SG6.

SG3 go round the front as the main assult but mystrunner goes round back to sabbotage their defences.

what do you suggest

well it's not up to me to recommend an assault but for the moment have a reccie around the temple and report back to me and we'll go from there

im sorry sargent but i thought as you were second in command of the intelligence side you might have an informed oppinion on the matter.

ill report to craxus to see what the plan of attack should be

Thanks but I don't really want to go in guns blazing into the Temple and find it full of innocent worshippers, don't want to upset alien Gods do we

Good Morning everyone.

You might wonder why I have not been attacked by the Jaffra. I just show them start telling them Richard Whitely jokes and they flee. I even threatened the Jaffra with the Guideml clinic and once they entered this crazy place they went hysterical, oh no, oh no not anything but the GuideMl Clinic! Even the System Lords are petrified of the GuideML. Ra is especially frightened of it. I only have to say GuideMl to him and him becomes a nervous wreck. Then I have threatened the Jaffra and the systems Lords with recordings of Terran politican speaches! Well it is too much for them, you can hear them screaming for hours on end asking me to stop as they can stand the sound of Terran politicans long boring speaches.

Corporal JA

*comes through gate carrying a large back-pack*
Sorry I'm late guys. I needed to get together all my equipment. So, where do you want me?

Do what ever it is you scientists do

I'm off to get some survellance gear to bug the temple

*s off through the gate*

I'll just set up a tent here then

I'll just set up a tent here then

*s back through the gate with her arms full of bugging devices*

Ok where's SG-3 I need some help to plant these bugs

hey up over her' luv'