h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"That's life. Sometimes you lose, sometimes the others win."

[don't even ask who said it first]

Yelbakk

"Electronics is the art of commanding electrons and electromagnetic waves to do what you want them to do. It is an art because electrons and waves tend to not obey, otherwise it would be a science."
[Bossel (yes, Bossel of Bosselex )]

"this thread started with quotes by famous writers and politicians and deteriorated<?> to talks of hoovercrafts and eels"
[self, in regards to this thread]


Dancer

"You suck, but yo' mama is goood"
[SuperFly]


Dancer

*turns green*

peace.

My dear McClellan:
If you don't want to use the Army I should like to borrow it for a while. - Abraham Lincoln

"Has anyone seen my gun?"

Spike Milligan to the late Sir Eric Seacombe after Milligan fired his artillary cannon-thing and it flew backwards off of a cliff. He was searching for it in the valley when he met some other soldiers, coming towards him. (How the pair first met.)

Ohhhhh, theres tonnes and tonnes and tonnes....But a couple of ones in the serious vein first methinks...

"A zygote is a gametes way of creating more gametes. This may be the point of the universe"

"Most 'scientists' are bottle washers and button sorters"

-Excerpts from the journals of Lazarus Long (Most Heinlein books)

Kinda make you think....

From the memory of a

Dancer's quote about electronics reminded me of a sig I had for a while:

We have captured the lightening and use it to make sand think.

A couple of my favourite ones:

"The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently."
Friedrich Nietzsche.

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
Stephen Roberts

And my all time favourite:
"Madness takes its toll; please have exact change!"
Unknown

Nietzsche has so many but the inevitable is i guess:

"Battle not with monsters, lest you become a monster. And remember as you gaze into the abyss that the abyss is gazing back also."

I remember hearing this quote:
"The only reason that hope is still alive, is because nobody has found a way to kill it."

Is this one from Mencken?

"Life is like a jam donut, except without the jam.... and without the donut"

Can't remember the source...

Good god is that the time??? aaaaahh!!

Me after waking up to find my alarm clock has failed me.

'One night while playing Trivial Pursuit
I was asked who played name role in Clute.
Without pausing to ponder
I yelled out "Jane Fonda"
But it wasn't of course, it was Donald Sutherland.' This is a limerick from 'I'm sorry, I Haven't a Clue' on Radio 4.

In 'Educating Rita', Michael Caine has the following superb line:
Student: Sir, I don't think you're listening to me!
Caine: Sir, I don't think you're saying anything to me!

'Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough.
It's no place for humans now.' Anyone?

'You'll never find a more disgusting hive of scum and villainy. We must be wary.' Used to describe Scarborough, but originally from Star Wars.

'Marry, by all means. If you have a good wife, you will become happy. If you have a bad wife, you will become a philosopher.' Socrates

"Marry me and you'll be able to fart through silk for the rest of your life"

Robert Mitchum's marriage proposal

I'd marry him

Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough is by Sir John Betjeman. I am putting a link to it in my links page: http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A545320 - It is truer now than it has ever been.

The Robert Mitchum quote (*waves to W****E*) reminds me of my favourite Rod Stewart one:

There is no point in getting married, just find a woman you hate and buy her a house.

I said this to a friend of mine, who laughed like a drain, while his girlfriend looked on un-easily.

Ben

Some I have lying on my desktop at this moment;

Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened.
Sir Winston Churchill

"Well, we knocked the b*****d off!"
Edmund Hillary, on first climbing Mount Everest

"Wouldn't Mallory be pleased if he knew about this"
Sir Edmund Hillary-descending 1953

"The wise only possess ideas; the greater part of mankind are possessed by them."
Samuel Taylor Coleridge

"Who cares where national borders lie
Who cares whose laws you're governed by
Who cares what name you call a town
Who cares when you're six feet beneath the ground"

- Neil Hannon (The Divine Comedy), Sunrise

A woman, a dog and a walnut tree,
The more you beat them, the better they be
Fuller??

'When you're sad and feeling blue
With nothing better to do,
Don't just sit there feeling stressed.
Take a trip on THE NATIONAL EXPRESS!'

Niel Hannon (Divine Comedy) 'National Express'