h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Submit 42-word stories on any theme here.

Detective Semloh's Report:

"Victim: Chef. (Specialty: Fried Octopus)

Crime scene: Beach

Causes of death: Simultaneous snake bite, stabbing,
gunshot, and asphixiation.

Suspects: None. Four needed for murder, but beach
deserted at time of death."

Having hidden the weapons, the octopus swam away.

That must have been some octopus!

Here are three of my 42 word stories.


I stand on the train, wedged between seats. On one side sits a man reading the Financial Times, on the other a woman working on her laptop. Everyone is quiet and reserved. I have a sudden urge to start screaming and shouting.


The ramblers toil up the mountain slope, at first through alpenrose, later between rocky outcrops, stopping to look at high peaks. At last, they reach the summit and find a mountain hut, full of Austrians who came up on the cable car.


The slippers were the worst. They stood beside the back door: a pair of old red things which she wore around the house. When he picked them up and threw them in the dustbin, he sat in the nearest chair and wept.

“You’re voting for Kremmersley?” I exclaimed. “He opposes everything you believe in.”

“He’s our friend,” Mom explained.

“He invites us for turkey dinners, barbecues, even cruises,” Dad added.

“He won’t keep any of his campaign promises,” I said.

“That’s fine with us!”

I think this is very good.

It's difficult to incorporate dialogue in such a short story, because, as soon as you have two or more people, you need to differentiate them.

I think you've managed it, and you've said something cynical about politics.

[I loved your stories, Minorvogonpoet. I look forward to reading what you write next ]

The greatest mime in France met the greatest mime in America one day. They sat in a restaurant comparing their acts. It turned out they did a lot of the same things. This was okay. After all, great mimes think alike.

Hehe, liking some of these, keep em coming

mini

To take one's abloutions in waters hot

Parfumed, with soap and lathers

In the end thats round, minus taps

Is the most of a natural order, with

Steam the floats and clings to mirrors

in which graffitti is written.

Ahh! such joy!


RJR who just found the right place

I do like the octopus one, Paulh. Hehehe. And all great mimesthink alike. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

That third story is very powerful, Minorvogonpoet. The word 'things' jarred a bit though. I was wondering if the Australian 'thongs' was widely understood enough to work instead. Still, great story. The Second one made me grin too.

The bathtime one is splendidly evocative, RJR. I do like a good bath.

This was supposed to be my poem for the Gift challenge last month, mvp, but I couldn't get it to work as a poem.

“A girl,” said the Fairy. “Grace, modesty, and beauty.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Intelligence. Independence. Ambition”.

“Happiness! A Prince!” She was adamant.

“Fulfilment,” I countered. “Cats!”

But in the end I bought toys, cheap, plastic and noisy from Asda.

Pink, of course.

(I really did like the third story, mvp. Stopped me cold. Goosebumps of sadness, if that happens to anybody else...)

I like this, Solnushka, whether it's a poem or a story.

And paulh's great mimes think alike.

The shorter the story, the longer it takes to write it. I always start out with more words than I'm supposed to have. Then I trim words, sacrificing details that seemed important. That's 32 words so far. Only 10 more to go.

"Where are we going"

"it's a secret" mum replied

"Well i hope it's not the Dentist again" whined Sara

"No, it's somewhere much more fun" Mum replied as she pulled into the parking lot of the Animal rescue shelter.

"are we getting a cat?!"

I like this

But I feel it deserves a reply !

Blemmer Fund: Fourth Quarter Report

Heinrich Blimmer took over as fund manager when Sanchez
Blemmer was discovered sleeping with chickens.

Blimmer will choose stocks using Blemmer's "Weathervane Strategy."

He will receive a huge annual bonus. The fund has never beat the averages.

story # 1

Stones in the orchard standing tall
between beds of flowers and grass,
hiding their pain and sadness from my eyes,
but not my heart, as tears form in my eyes,
as if to hide, also, the names of people passed away.
Graveyard.

Story # 2 (and on a brighter note)

I stood there watching as the blue bird pecked its beak on a pile of leaves in the garden. It was playing, happily twisting rustling clumps of raw life from the tops of trees. Or was it not, but searching for food?

Story # 3 (2(42) syllables in... iambic hexameter?, that makes it 12 syllables per line 7 lines)
/ - / - / - / - / - / -
Oh darling won't you sit again with me tonight
and we will talk once more of happy days of life
just try remember what we used to paint inside
our souls cojourned in peace and graceful harmony.
Do not forget the times we laughed the times we cried,
just smile and think about the things you left behind,
and those you did take with you, look at them once more.

Story # 4

Raining inside my head, water gets in my eyes.
It's hard to see the path
because it's so dark, and the water on the windshield.
Start looking around,
Don't wait for the rain to pass,
because the rain
is in our heads.

First one from me:

He left in his second best suit, posting the keys back through the letterbox. Jumped on the first train, but when it broke down in Woking, his courage went with it. Neighbours found him sat outside the back door, head in hands.

Liked the chicken one - favourite so far!



sprout

(Loosely based on The Emperor's New Clothes)

The vain and proud Emperor returned home late after displaying his New Magical Clothes on a long procession. Tired, dirty and sweaty, he ordered them to be thoroughly washed. Yet after the tumble-dryer had finished, he could not find the socks anywhere...

<BB<