h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I like this .

But isn't it usually one sock that goes missing?

Message in a bottle: Help! I'm stranded on a desert island.
I have enough ham, sauerkraut, and salted peanuts to last for
years, but I'm running out of champagne. If you can't rescue me, could you bring more champagne? I'm constantly thirsty.

Great stuff minorvogonpoet. I especially admire the last one about he slippers (I would say 'like', but it doesn't seem quite right for such a sad a poignant piece).

Yay, kittens! : ) nice - well done on getting several emotions and tension in there, minichessemouse

Thanks scrumph.

I have followed my practice in writing haikus - look for a vivid image.

Yes, I thought the haiku writing would be good practise for this. I'm attempting a daily haiku this year (elsewhere in the interwebs)

"Yay, kittens! : ) nice - well done on getting several emotions and tension in there, minichessemouse" [Scrumph]



[ to workshop to write about kittens]

Miss Kitty's soft, silky fur and long lashes turned heads wherever she went. Her collar was studded with tiny Faberge eggs. Little wonder, then, that the other cats began imitating her. "Don't worry," I said, stroking her fur, "they're just copycats."

LOL!

Thanks.

Standing on the riverbank in the snow I notice two birds building a nest.
Twigs and feathers and moss. Very industrious.
‘They must be warm’ I think, shivering in my overcoat.
I’ll come back soon with my binoculars to see the babies.

Something was amiss. Blatherwell, the story's hero, sidestepped
every obstacle the author placed in his path.

"Blatherwell, you always anticipate what's coming next," the author
said.

"I read your outline."

"That's bad! How can a character outsmart his author?"

"By being heroic!"

"You're an author who listens to his characters. I'm grateful.
I hate being Mrs. Ratspasm, though."

"You were Juliet last time, remember?"

"Yes. Thanks!"

"You were beautiful."

"Awesome!"

"Here you're the *only* character, the star!"

"But with purple skin? Yuck!"

Very Jasper Fforde.

Love the emperor's clothes one, Bluebottle, and particularly appreicted the messing with the schema to produce a 42 story in iambic hexameter, Pelegrhino.

I think you lot might be putting up with potted versions of my day for a bit.

The entrance fee, £4. One room. The bronze-age shield and mammoth tooth, impressive. The dolls house, interesting but forever locked behind glass. The heavy drawer, opened to reveal… opera glasses and a programme for a long-forgotten show. Luckily, the café was excellent.

[The story in post 33 could be fun to play around with. Instead of
purple skin, what else might Mrs. Ratspasm object to?

green hair
three heads
six butts
leprechaun aunts

Or how about exceeding the word count a bit, and inflicting multiple indignities on her? Something like:

"But with purple skin, three heads, and six butts? Yuck!"

Tbh, I just like the way she isn't objecting to being Mrs *Ratspasm*.

I'm sure she's had worse names in earlier stories.

OK, can I be picky? The word 'awesome' bothers me a bit. But I want 'It was awesome' there myself. Wordcount choice or Br/US thing?

I had to be brutal, given the word count. 42 words would not have been my first choice for length. I have a great fondness for the discursive tendencies of Mark Twain, who could wander off on a tangent, but was so spellbinding when he did it that I never minded at all.

You absolutely can *not* wander off on a tangent when you only have 42 words to work with.

A twig snapped. Predators! Squirrel grabbed his acorn and fled
up the tree.

Three humans were watching him. Just watching, as before.

Squirrel called to his mate: "Let's do that silly dance again, the one that humans *think* is our mating ritual."