h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

want me to get the grunt to shoot you in the head next time?

So long as he can keep the blood off the collar...

collar?

Nobody, Blunder, Bloodlust, get in here! The phony self destruct I set off won't keep them away forever!

*Drops down to floor two and is facewith several plant mutants.* Oh, sh1t!

i set off the real self destruct, the one that actully kills</>

*gets in there*





!!!!

*heads down the stairs*
whats the layout of this place?

I will cover you from the outside unless you want me to come in

*a shiny red fiero pulls up and two machine guns appear on the roof, trunk, and hood and a rocket launcher on each side of the car pops out on the side and the grille drops to reveal 17 heat seeking missles and the trunk contains 24 mortar shells and it also has a cloaking ability*

Tell me what you want me to do

*a tall dark haired man jumps out of the car with a long black trenchcoat and is packing two magnums with silver tipped bullets, two mini guns, a sniper rifle, and a shot gun and an M79 with enough ammo to spare on person in car, hits a button and the car says "Target Sensors activated, cloak activated, have a good day Mr. Gangorlas." and all the grunts run when they hear that name*

If yor ride can take care of itself, we could use you down here! We got several plant mutants...
*Fires a couple 5.56 MP5 rounds into the nearest. Phases it, but it keeps coming.*
<We need fire power! If you got a flamethrower, we got a regular Day of the Triffids down here! Welcome to the party.
*Pulls out M79 thumper and a couple thermite grenades; throws one at the nearest mutant...*

*rummages through car* Got it! Ah shit! *ducks as a bullet comes flying at him! *set car for patrol of area and then runs for the hatch and dives down it* Im here! Am I late? Did I miss anything? *whips out flamethrower and shot gun* Here take the flame thrower! *shoots the plant mutants using spreader shells that have some potent plant killers in them and then it sends a small napalm bomb at them* Any better?

I am going to go offline to go to bed! It is 6:00 AM and I have been up the past 72 hours. See you all in the late morning! Adios! *disappears*

* throws fire bombs into the areas taht are ocupied by the opposing force. others aim at the heads of the enemy with REAL bullets and not paint balls*

all units encage the target

these are ELITE, ie please put some effort into killing them, don't just say oh bang he is dead, that would be such a waste.

triffids??!! i've got my aerosol of plant rot here somewhere... a-ha! die, you suckers!!!

that'll teach you to get acid on my suit!

*Barbeques a couple more mutants with the flamethrower, then turns it on several elite base guards*
Nuke 'em till they glow, then shoot 'em in the dark!

can you take a bit more elegance in killing my elite base gaurd please. and i don't mean ballet

*pulls a lightbulb from a computer console, throws it at an approaching guard. Pulls out sidearm, shoots out a security camera. Bullet richocets off shattering camera lens, hits lightbulb, which itself shatters and slashes the guards femoral arteries to ribbons, dropping all the blood out of his body. The bullet zings off a few more walls, then through the end of NC's cigar, lighting it. He turns to the drip-dried guard, smiles,*
"Thanks for the light!"
*stows sidearm, pulls MP5, and re-joins the firefight.*

blunder - i *do* hope you're going to don your radiation suit before you irradiate this whole facility!

everybody got their infra-red goggles? right -

*the natural phospeherence of teh mmaterials used to make the place then reveal the lights didn't actully do much*

yeah, but it's so much cooler to fight in the light of this eerie green glow!

Yeah, Doc, some ghent got paint all over my leg, but it should still hold up!
*Slides on thermal Goggles*
We need to get to the control room. Which way is it? ...Besides down?