h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*the Mucky Ducky drops to realspace, absorbs a laser blast aimed at the X, and returns fire*
Cavalry's here!

Hey, thanks.

*Jon Quixote goes out of the air lock with a spanner to look at the damage. It turns out to be small and easily fixable*
*easily fixes damage*

*gets back into cockpit and fires up*

Lets kick some Yuuzhan rear.

*The X fires a warhead of mass destruction at one of the more damaged Yuuzhan*

*fires a blast at the nearest Yuuzhan Vong, causing it to explode, taking the nearest 2 ships with it*
Dominoes!

*A squadron (12) of fighters wheels about and attacks the Mucky Ducky, landing several shots on the shields. The other fighters continue to concentrate their fire along B3's onto the Asgard.*

*B3 finds itseof only recieving 1/4 the abount of fire it had been (as the Asgard is firing everywhere now and is coping more easily.*

*B1 is not faring well though, the continuing rain of fire along its surface is beginning to wear the Dovin Basels out. Many shots land and vent atmosphere, or detonate plasma amunition sacks. B4's efforts to aid the ship are helping, but not enough. The two whips contiune to fire at the Divine Light.*

*B2 is still firing at the White Star 9*

*The squadron near the Mucky Ducky latch onto the mass destruction missile, destroy its targeting comp, tracking devises, and homing systems (reducing it strait fire) then use their gravity to spin missile 180 degrees and send it back on the one who fired it. The fighters then fly away to avoid the shock wave.*

*Mucky Ducky fires a diamond Boron missile into the formation of enemy fighters, causing a big hole in the formation*

*The Divine Light redoubles its efforest to kill of B1. Firing its Death Ray after firing its Earth Force Particle beam cannon, while firing all of its other guns.*

*WS9 about turns and fires a laser guided dilithium warhead at B2*

Grab hold of something the shockwaves can tickle

*the dilithium warhead explodes and sends a EMP through the enemy fleet*

*The Fighters keep flying away from the Mucky Ducky as the mass destruction missile impacts and detonates on it.*

*B1 disintegrates under the Divine Light's Death Ray. Chunks of yorik coral pelt the rest of the fleet. B4 contiunes to rain ruin upon the Divine Light's shields*

*All the other ships keep firing, and will until victory or destruction.*

A CGE fighter squadron fly through a hole in hyperspace orbiting a large Thorin-class battleship, which activates it's ECM fuzzboxes and its ECM shockers to block all incoming missiles and forces them to crash into the ship to which the weapomn was fired from, really cleaver stuff these boxes!!!

*Fortunaetly, the Yuuzhan Vong use all bio-tech, and are nought but tickled by the EMP.*

*B2 fires even more vigourously at White Star 9*

*the missile bounces harmlessly of the Ducky's Quantum Chrystaline Armor, and the Ducky returns fire with the ion cannon*

*The X turns off the warhead for the Mass Destruction using a hidden bug*
Well that's lucky isn't it.
*The X avoids the empty shell of the warhead and shunts it towards the Yuuzhan and then turns on the warhead with laser beams trained on it so if anyone goes near it it blows.*

*Craxus and the starship Asgard take up flying formation with the ducky.*

[Craxus] Load missile tubes 80-200 and 1-45, concentrate all fire upon B3. Evasive manuver Bravo.

[1st officer] Sir, I recremend that we bring up the stargate defenses.

[Craxus] Fine, bring up the stargate defenses and bring up 3 and 4 warp cores to power the defenses.

[Crew] Aye, Aye.

*The starship Asgard is now completely protect against any oncoming missiles or battery fire from the CGE and Yuuzhan Vong.*

*Craxus next to Ralph's ducky ship, begins to fire endless amounts of Chain cannons and long range blast lances at B3.*

B3 is it?
*The X fire a volley of energy bolts at the B3's stabilisers*

*The starship Asgard begins to assist the fire of The X to damage/destroy B3.*

Yuuzhan Vong ships don't have stabalizers. They are organic

*Right before the Mass Destruction missile hits it vanishes in a mini-black hole, projected by a dovin basel*

That's one of their many gravimetric miracles.

*B3 contiunes to absorb the shots fired at it, and continues to fire its plasma and volcano cannons. B3 also releases some grutchins, which latch onto some of the Star Gates and begin to eat through the rings. The fighters that had been strafing the ship now come in for a close pass, firing still. As the Star Gates move to intercept them, the fighters' Dovin Basels project black holes into the rings of the Star Gates, causing them to become damaged or destroyed. B3 keeps shooting at the Asgard while the fighters strafe the X. *

*B2 keeps shooting at White Star 9 and B4 keeps shooting at the Dvine Light. B1 keeps driftin in different directions as its crew freezes to death in the cold vacuum of space.*

[bridge] concentrate all fire on the enemy ships in sector D4, load missiles 1-12000 and ready main laser battery for barrage in sector E5
[bridge] launch all fighters to combat the enemy escort, stay away from sector E5, ready the boarding crafts!

Which enemy?

You got my whole stargate defenses wrong.

*The portals of the stargate activate as it intercepts the weapons fire from B3 and the fighters.*

[Craxus] Status!

[Crewman] Power running in at 11% sir, we have more than enough power to hold off the attacks.

[Craxus] Launch the fighters and patrol ships. Set the patrol ships to guard the Asgard defending against other Yuuzhan Vong fighters. While we send in the fighters to do attack runs. Eh, why not send in the mobile suits as well, those things are harder to hit and pack a bigger punch.

*The fighers, mobile suits, and patrol fighters launch out of 3 of the 10 docking bays, heading for the B3.*

*The mobile suits aiming for the fighters while, the Asgard's fighters head for B3 to destroy it.*

What do you mean what enemy, look.
*points at the little screen on a computer screen*
There, see those little moving red dots in sector E5 and D4?
Thats the enemy! Period!