h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

OOOOOOOOOH, you are e-vil!

*backs into a corner and snarls*

Pusspusspusspusspuss!

Hmm, I wonder how they were able to rebuild the guardroom so quickly. *Leans heavily against an outside wall which then collapses*.

Ah its just plaster board!

*Proceeds to kick through various walls, releasing Captain Rimmer in the process, then through to the armoury picking up some heavy duty weaponry in the process, and some worming tablets. Then proceeds to disappear off into the hills*

*where they fall into a 20-foot well dug especially for such occasions*

*Uses belts of machine gun ammo to form a make shift rope ladder to climb out of well. Then proceeds to run off in a slightly more cautious manor*

*however cautious, he does manage to fall of a cliff, into the waiting arms of a Carnivorous Coconut tree*

*Where Reefgirl picks them up and slings them in the undergrounD cell*

Ok this is the plan, they have to spend 30 days in the underground cell and behave or...........(da dada dahhhhh).......Give Werekitty a good long bath and we'll consider that punishment enough

And stay put or we'll force you to use the extra hard scrubbing brush!

*nobody notices that Rimmer chose not to escape since it would suggest he was guilty, which he isn't*
I'm ready for my trial now...

Do you want to admit your guilt or go through a complicated trial, the punishment will be the same, giving Werekitty a bath

Not necesssarily. It is perfecly legal under British law to attempt to escape from custody, including the use of reasonable force, if you are being unlawfully held. That includes prison. By the way unless found in the comission of an offence an officer cannot be arrestted without the authorisation of an equivalent or superior ranking officer. I also recall that Captain Rimmer's actual rank is that of Brigadier. So can anyone show me where Mystrunner, Spook, or Vercingetorix has authorised the detention of Captain Rimmer.

Captain Rimmer, I would suggest you order the troops of Gazpacho to detain the MP's. I think the power has gone to their heads and they need to be restrained. Alternatively we could wait until the early hours and a concerned citizen might try and bust us out.

I think Reefgirl's last post has more than demonstrated a lack of impartiality from the court. Don't worry Captain Rimmer, I'm sure we will get any verdict overturned on appeal.

MP's can arrest anyone with the exception of the commanding officers if rules have been breached, commanding officers can be arrested for mutany but we've had that argument, got this info from my BF who's an ex soldier

Captain Rimmer is the CO

Terran is the CO

*Raspberry*

OK, but Rimmer is still "A CO". I think Brigadier is far enough up the chain of command to count as requiring higher authority to nick.

how the system really works is that i am CO of smeg, rimmer is CO of gazpacho, msytrunner is CO of nightblade, and vercingetorix is CO of me, rimmer and mystrunner.

verc has the easy job!

spook

Spook, good!
Appereantley, I'm being cort martialed wrongfully.

no one said ANYTHING about court martial. we just feel that you should be punished for misuse of power and obstruction of justice. may i also point out you are no longer in a cell as tosh kicked it in so we are not detaining you. in fact, i have no objection to you resuming normal duties and we will carry out a seperate investigation to you which will probably result in us posting any findings to verc or spook(who is second in command of the terranic army) and leave them to decide any punishment required. that means we can not be accused of being power hungry. .

tosh's case is for a different crime, and when he has been found guilty of that we will extend his sentence due to repetitive attempts to escape lawful incarceration. or i will make him bath me

creachy mp to the