Based On A True Story
"Hello" said Bond as he sipped his Vodka Martini,
"You look very nice in that stylish bikini."
"Thank you," said the girl, "I'm in H2G2's Competition,
And I hope this bikini will get me First Position.
Why not go along to page A-seven-eight-one-one four-eight,
Go and enter right now, don't hesitate.
So why not enter and join in the fun?"
But Bond replied, "That just isn't done!
Although I always win competitions and come first in tests,
The fact remains that I don't have breasts!"
"Oh that doesn't matter," said the girl, "It's open to all,
Whether you're male, female, young, old, or twelve feet tall.
You can enter if you're an animal, a rock, or pile of furry hair,
All you have to do is be able to put on some summer breastwear.
So why not enter the competition? Come on, don't hesitate!"
James Bond answered, "Okay why not? You make it sound great."
The girl told him, "Entering is easy, you just have to click Here."
Bond smiled at her and said, "I'll go there with you then, dear."
The Moral of this true story, the final word,
Is; Make sure your bikini is shaken, not stirred.