h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Zero approaches from Lil's hole]

[Zero] .... The Celery!?

A posse of salonistas? *looks bemused* Sounds like a relentless force that likes to stop for meals... except for outriders like this one here. Hi Zero! Where ~is~ the rest of the posse? And what can we do about, er, Woody?

*puts away her healthstone* And why do I always end up in a tunnel with you lot?

[Zero] Wait, I thought the Celery was --

[Sweep to shortly after the other Celery has been explained to him]

[Zero] The rest of the posse is ... hang on a minute ... [confers with X via his built-in radio]

*a set of footsteps is heard coming into the Church Crypt from the cave system*

Tally-ho Munchers. We made it old stick, splendid effort what!

[Zero facepalms]

[Zero] Oh, no, not /him/ again.

*Affy looks at Zero*

Zero? You're down here to? Oh, great! Those ghosts'll attract people down here just to slowly drive 'em crazy! As soon as night falls, weird visions, hallucinations and occurences will start to haunt us, growing steadily stronger as the night goes on and we grow wearier! By daylight they'll leave, and we'll have finally found the exit, but even though there will be nothing blocking our exit, some force will create an invisible impossible to breach wall that will prevent us from leaving, just so that we can be haunted for the rest of our lives! Then when we die, we'll become part of the ghostly hordes that haunt this place, forever trying to escape and warn other people that they have to get out, but we'll just wind up making the situation worse as we have to spend all our time here until....

*Affy shakes his head*

Sorry, got a little carried away there. Anyway, how'd all of you people wind up here? I just got lost in the abandoned mines, and seem to have found some connecting passages. And what is the deal with Herb? Are you....

*Takes a closer look at The Celery*

You look different than you did when I met you in the office, ya know....

Lil! Are you alright? How wonderful to see you! Gosh, we've missed you, had some adventures en route.

*looks suspiciously at AMCJ*

Munchkin, is this chap to be trusted? If you say so, then that's ok by me.

Who've you got there, Zero? Its not............its not the Celery is it?

What, Lucers? He's fine, still stuck in his school days but I'm sure he will grow up soon. Nice to see we have finally found Lil, but the question now is a) Who is the vegetable chap and b) What is our next plan of action? Escape back the way we came?

Lucers is it know? Well If you say he is to be trusted, your word is good enough for me.

The passages and tunnels back there seem free of baddies, I think Witty is at the top of the ladder, guarding it hopefully.

s Munchkin and Caerwynn and Affy

The Celery you met in the office, Affy, is Herb's evil twin Woody. *kicks at the mask on the ground* As you can see, our Herb has gone a bit albino during confinement.

How come we have a jello on our side? *looking at Lucers* And I have some stories to tell, too! But what is this about ghosts? I think we have bigger problems with the kidnappers...

Ah yes, Lil, meet Lord Lucan, Lucan meet Lil. He was actually part of an ambush on us at one point but I recognised him from school. I think he is alright now, but he was always one for the childish prank, so I'd keep an eye on him none the less.

I thought he looked familiar!

Yes, yes, Lil is right. My evil twin, Woody, has been keeping me captive and impersonating me. He has plans to take over h2g2 and then the world. He has some powerful allies and just might be able to do it. We've got to get out of here and stop him.

Affy, it's good to see you again after more than 2 years. I'm looking forward to seeing more of the campaign team, if we can stop Woody.

Uh, miss Caerwyn? We haven't been introduced, but I heard your name. Please excuse the familiarity. You seem to know the way out of here. Perhaps you could lead.

And it's nice to meet you gentlemen too.

*The last was addressed to Munchers, AMCJ and Zero.*

*something stirs under AMCJ's pant's leg, just above the knee*

(Muffled) Yawn. He took my doggie.

I'm please to meet you Herb and do call me Caer, every one else does. Did anyone hear that? Sounded like a muffled gnerf. If I can pick out my footprints in all the jumble here, this passage should lead back to the ladder: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/F91200?thread=191757&post=2293015#p2293015 I'll get the hang of shortcuts one day

Wooooooooo [Ha ha!]

WoooooooooOOOooooooo [Let's see how brave you are now!]

WoooOOoooo [Nice one, Zello!]

*bows to Lil and the Celery*

Actually I'm not a Jello Ma'am ... I'm an English Aristocrat abducted by the Apachello tribe whilst taking a wild west vacation.

With the Apachello's now gone I have no reason to consort with those other ruffians so I've thrown my lot on with you all. Hope you don't mind what !

Well then, I think it best if we get a move on, before some guard hears us chatting away in here. Ladies first.

[Zero] Sounds like a good story, but what if this "Woody" character manages to bring in some of his heavy technology? I did some spying before, and I think he has some of that in reserves.