h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*slides down from Gandalf's back since she has difficulties making out the hoofprints from the enormous height*

Breakfast? Mmmmm... maybe I ought to have some too, before I leave...

*wanders around studying the ground*

*Makes a good strong brew of PG Tips and a pot of coffee strong enough to take the plating of an EPNS spoon*

*checks the bread and turns it over to toast the other side, adds a few more so that there is enough to go round*

*Finds some eggs in the basket and breaks half a dozen into the frying pan*

*sniffs with appreciation*

Maybe I'll continue the search after eating - you are distracting me, Caer!


...and you made my stomache forget all about already having had breakfast this morning! *rumble*

*discovers rashers of bacon and adds those to the pan as well*

Nnnnggghhh! I need to have an early lunch today, obviously - comes from being way too h2g2 addicted, almost being able to sniff and quite able to imagine the taste...

*hands out plates of toast, bacon and eggs to all present*

*devises a cunning knot that allows Indian Joe to hold a fork and plate so that he can eat, but restricts his movements so that he can't get at the knot to undo it. Places a mug of just within his reach*

Anyone want a spoonful or four of beans?

Help yourselves to or .

Oh this is splendid, Caer.

*carefully plops gun down withing easy reach (of her, not Joe) and forks up food hungrily.

*with other hand rumages in carpet bag and produces peanut butter, which she adds to the condiment options*

Mmmm... *pats tummie* ...that was deliciuous, Caer!

*squats*

I think I see hoofprints leading in this direction...

*climbs rock and mounts Gandalf again*

*disappears among trees*

*proceeding with caution*

Perhaps I've missed my forté and I should be the expedition cook. Lets face it, even with laser sights and a touch of , I'm a rotten shot!

Mind you I do suspect the Celtic Ring of may have not given me the full MO on this crossbow.

Normally I hate cooking, but outdoors everyone is too hungry to have expectations of cordon bleu three course meals.

*collects the dirty crockery and washes them*

avoids the European use of washing up to prevent hopeless falling about with ter by American cousins

/* Rides back to the posse, and falls dejectedly to the ground. */

I can't follow the trail... They've got Zeppo... I...

I'LL GET THAT SUNJELLO KID IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!

[Meanwhile, Zero pulls out his Z-saber and arms it. He pulls himself along the leash towards the Sunjello kid, a la "Wallace and Gromit: The Wrong Trousers". Now, Zero has almost Jedi reflexes, so if anyone shoots at him, he can deflect it with the saber. Blah.]

Please ignore my last post. It was made out of ignorance. Of what? Don't ask.

Backlag.

/* Raises head suddenly */

I've got an idea - if they want a game manual, they'll get a game manual.

/* Takes out the electric hedge trimmer manual, and carefully writes in very neat letters on the inside front cover. */


Congratulations! You have made it through the demo levels. To unlock the game and proceed to the Electric Hedge Trimmer level, follow the following procedure:
1. Reboot your computer in DOS mode.
2. Type "fdisk c:"
3. Answer yes to the questions that follow. The warnings are designed to scare off software pirates.
4. Reboot your computer. The game is now unlocked! Enjoy.

Morning, folks. Is that bacon and eggs I smell?

Now we just have to put up a fight, but make sure the get away with the "manual". We can't make it too easy, or they might catch on.

/* Tucks the manual in his belt, near the stapler. */

We need to get going. I think I saw a town in the distance when I was looking for Zeppo. I'm willing to bet that's where Sunjello was headed, and it's the direction that Butch took off in. It's further up this trail.

*wipes mouth*

Okeydokey. Are we taking the horses, or going it on foot?

*around the woods muffled sounds are heard as if from a number of riders. The dense woods mask the direction the sounds come from. After a minute or two they cease and all is quiet once more and peace returns to the trail*

Hey, those horses sounded like they were heading towards h2g2. Wonder what's going on.

/* Closes his eyes and hopes he doesn't see a celery when he opens them. */

*Notices d'E close his eyes.*

What's the matter, d'E? Dust in your eye?