h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'll take some of that coffee, if you've got lots.

*Chips a little treacle off of Sunjello's left baby finger.*

That much freedom shouldn't cause any problems.

*enjoys a cup of Earl Grey8

*ferckles in pockets and produces pork with sage and onion sausages and s*

These bangers will go well with the beans.

wow! quite the feast!

*serves herself some food*

my compliments to the chef!

*emerges from behind the bushes looking slightly worse for wear*

rats! i can't get this banana goo out of my hair. oh, well. i heard it makes a good conditioner. oh, beans! .....wait a minute, are we trying to replicate a scene out of blazing saddles?

I mus' go ter the litta Jello's room. It's all tha' liquid splishin' about. Tea this, cowfee that.

Kin som'un kindly unstuck me?

*Walks over and breaks the treacle off of one of Sunjellos arms.*

Okay, you can do what you need to do right over there. I'll be watching you with a gun in my hand, so no funny business, ya hear?

sorry, mental picture very very funny.

Can't I go behin' a bush? Thar's lady's jus over thar! You cud tie me ter that big yeller dog over thar.

*Turns bright red*

Ya'see?! Tha'lady thar is already blushin'.

*falls off chair*

*comes back down the hill carrying one of the baskets the messenger brought, full of viands*

Lookit, here's a tablecloth. We'll just hold it up and sing a sailin' ditty from the Marines, que? *grins toothily*

And here's flatbread and cold chicken, n' some kinda flaky pastry to go round.

Kin we git that dog to guard the prisoners? *indicating Zeppo with a chicken leg* Here, Mr. Elephant, can I give him some chicken?

I will skip the beans, thank you kindly. I need to be close to my saddle in the mornin. *bursts out laughing at his own joke*

I guess it's OK if Zeppo guards the prisoners.

/* Takes a piece of chicken from Billy, pulls the meat off the bone and gives it to Zeppo. */

Just no bones - they'll get stuck in his throat. Come, Zeppo.

/* Ties Zeppo's leash to the Sunjello Kid, making sure the knot is where he can't reach it, then uses a stick to pry the Sunjello Kid off the saddle. */

Don't think you're going anywhere - that leash is nearly unbreakable - it dragged me halfway through the Majic Forest a few times.

/* Brings Zeppo behind the bush */

Zeppo, sit. Stay.

*A sigh of relief can be heard from behind the bush, then a yelp, then a shout.*

Yeeeeee-haaaaaa! Giddyap! Git along little doggy!

*The yellow dog bursts directly through the bush with the Sunjello Kid riding bareback. The dog runs directly towards the posse but Sunjello kicks him with his spurs. The dog yelps and heads directly into the bushes and brambles again.*

Aiiieeeee! Not through them briars! Aiieeeeee!

/* Jumps up (spilling the beans) and runs after Zeppo */

Zeppo! Come!

/* Waves chicken around in the air */

Nobody shoot! You'll hit Zeppo! Zeppo come!

/* Zeppo charges through the briars again back to the camp. */

*cringes at the thought of treacle AND briars*

[Zero jumps at the Sunjello Kid, looking like he wants to cause injury. He knocks him off Zeppo. Problem: the Sunjello Kid is still tied securely. Zero gets tangled up in the leash and starts shouting things that, if recounted here precisely, would cause brain hemmorhage in Moderators, which is enough reason to say it anyway, but I don't want to get banned. So he's going to say them in binary.]

[Zero]

*sea runs off in the direction zeppo and sunjello went off in - her boots will protect her from briars*

zeppo! *whistles* come on, d'E! let's get your dog back.

...........or not.... forget that last post.

*runs to zeppo, zero, and sunjello*

*pulls out knife and cuts zero and zeppo free*

*grabs sunjello by collar and drags him back toward the campsite none too gently*

politely points out that the leash is "nearly indestructable".
*Spurs Zeppo again*
Yeeeee-haaaaa!
*Zeppo charges through the bushes again with Sunjello on his back and Zero dragging along for the ride. Sunjello gives Zeppo an extra spur for good luck.*
Aiieeeeee!
Bwahahaha!

Um, actually, Miss Tron, you can't cut the leash. It's UNBREAKABLE, remember?