h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

BeeBee abandons her attempts to make friends with the Disgruntled Ape and charges Caer's food bowls. Carmel growns softly as BeeBee stepps on her, then continues her swoon. The other two pugs are clearly eager to join BeeBee, if only the D.A. would release them.

Perhaps I can "encourage" this ape to let them go.
*Exits the coach and approaches the Ape*
NOW LOOK HERE MY GOOD ... um ... HIRSUTE CHAP, WHY DON'T YOU RELEASE THOSE DOGS NOW. That's what these sort need, a good talking to.

There ought to be four bowls of steak for the dogs!

/* Drops the stapler and puts his head in his hands. */

*passes d'E a portion of frittatta and chips (fries) to distract him*

*hands out plates of same to all*

*flies in through the window of the coach and snags some chips*

I'm back . It was very hard to find you - especially since the geography of this tale bears no resemblance to The Map. What would you like me to do (after I've had a nap that will probably last, ooh, eight hours)?

*brightens at seeing the ant on her dragonfly* We got our overhead recon back! Miz Solnushka got a general idea of things, but if Lil ain't there, maybe from overhead you could see if there was any of them triple-R hoofprints!

*speaks to the Disgruntled Ape in Indian sign language* [Let pups go eat no more howl]
*more signs*
[You. Us them?]

*lets go of pugs who dash for the bowls, and tilts his head at the Kid's hands*

Ook! [Hey guys, a talking human!]

*two apes drop out of the trees behind the Disgruntled Ape, who signals to the Kid* [Not them no more]

Nearby Ape: Ook! [Ask them how many bananas they have!]

[Someone is briefly seen in the background during one of the preceding posts. Nobody notices him.]

/* Takes off his mask and wrings it dry, then puts it back on and eats a chip. */

Thank you. I'm feeling better now.

oooh, good frittata!

so, what's the plan? i'm out of treacle, but i still have cool whip and nitroglycerin. so do we smother them, or blow them up?

*puts an arm around d'E*

i miss zeppo too. we'll get him back.

*keeps an eye on the prisoner*

*stares back at sea *

*makes faces at joe*

Someone is going to have to fill me in a little here. Where are we? Where do we think Lil is? Where are the 3R gang likely to be?

*munches happily on some dish beggining with 'f'. Even though she has no idea what it is, it tastes great *

Well, we're just outside the town called, I think, Peta something. I don't think we really know where Lil is yet, although she's not in the town jail. There were a few signes of 3R activity in the town, but I don't think we know where that are exactly, either. And I'm assuming they are the same as the webjello gang. Is that true guys?

*looks around for help, realising there's a lot she, at least, doesn't know...*

Ah, glad to see my stern talking to worked there. As far as I can tell Sol is right. I'm hoping one of these tracking chappies can find where the gang rode of to.

Just so that you are reassured you aren't eating anything dodgy, Sol, the frittatta is basically an omlette with onions, potatoes, peppers, mushrooms and any left over veg, fried in a pan then grilled. But as I don't have access to a grill, I turned it over so that both sides are cooked.

Theres and here too.

Must be some bananas somewhere.

*rummages in the basket and under coach seats until a large bunch of bananas are found*

Here you go guys

*holds them out to the Disgruntled Ape for distribution amongst his fellow apes*

Ah, well, it is definitely nice, then, Caer

*nods* your recap was absolutely right. the webjellos are the same as the 3R gang...

*glances at joe to see if he's wearing anything with the 3R mark*

and i don't think we've had any indication of where lil is being held quite yet. though i would assume that the jail would be far too obvious a place... *shrug*

I call them the 3R gang because they branded RRR into the wall of the Atelier. Unfortunately, I was unconscious at the time having been thrown down the back of the sofa while asleep with Ripley. I think Ripley got his own back - there's blood everywhere. When I came round there was a strong smell of cordite in the Salon. They had shot holes in the sofa cushions. They had also hurt several of the salonistas - including the cardboard d'Elaphant - written on the walls and generally trashed the place .

They left behind a weird jello dressed as a vicar who hung around self-consiously for a bit and then made an excuse to leave.

I made some polite conversation about the football and then headed out here to the slopes of Mount Sandcastle to see if I could spot you. I'll fly around and try to pick up their trail.