h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I hereby give the Church the 'Wiggle of Approval'. Now... where is the 'collection basket' and how much is in it so far???

*twitches tail in approval/excitement*

*massages tail to calm it*

All current members please write your testamonials over on the "I've been healed" conversation. (We are trying to increase membership)

testimonials, oh

Yeah, or else I'll set Michele loose on your "testimonials" so to speak

*puts on a rubber glove*

at least now I know where my favorite 'turn-your-head-and-cough' gloves went...

Okay, I'd like to sign up.

Now, what's this about testimonials?
I haven't been studying, so how can
I pass them?

Studying? Yes, at least I try to stay at university .
Please sign me up

Just give Batty a daft title to turn into some strange Cherokee name and you're sorted, then I'll do some stupid chant and all is well. And one day I'll put all the names up on the page (when I can be bothered to get all the numbers and titles etc. etc.)

Then I perform the mandatory physical on all new members...
(evil laugh)

Oh Joy!!! New members!!!

*twitches HT in excitement*

::appears behind Batty and pets the Holy Tail in reverense and all that::
Hey everyone? Is this where I sign up? Well I'd like to then. So sign me up already.

I need a daft title, eh?

I want to be Robin, who
assists by saying "Holy Tail, Batty!"

I would like to be the Official Joe of the Church of the Holy Tail.

ooh... we have an official "Joe"! Though I think our only option with Paul H is to dub him "Punmaster to the HT".

*wonders when Floh is going to come up with a nifty title and when her crossdressing high priest will show up to do 'his thing'*

'scuse me.. *dashes off to come up with festive names*

*f****d right off with crappy servers, and scary fat women*
OMMMM-ALL-THEM-THINGS-WHAT-IT-SAID-UP-THERE-ESPECIALLY-PAULS-BATMAN-REFERENCE-NICE-ONE-OMMMMM
Sorry to be so brief, get on the good foot and do the bad thing my children

*brings out her ceremonial <> sword and goes first to Paul*
I dub thee - Ugvtsasuyoi - Punmaster of the Holy Tail!

Ugv - chief
utyetsasgv - laugh
uyoi - bad
(Master of bad jokes???)

*then to Joe*
I dub thee - Nulogowe - Joe of the Holy Tail!

nulosvsdvna - normal (sort of)
gowe - coffee (what can I say, the Cherokee word for Joe is Joe so I'm stretching here!)

*gives the wiggle of approval with the HT*

Okay then! Well and done! Take a number and line up outside the "Hut of Hedonism" for your mandatory physical!

(looks aside at Batty and whispers "I may need a little help here - what with them lining up all at once. I just got a new shipment of *Wally's Turn Your Head And Cough* gloves in 5 new hot colors - think you could "lend a hand"? aside to Batty)

(Aside to PS - "I think I will need to have you do Floh's physical, as you know males are my specialty - and you are so good with the ladies - good bedside manner and all )

Yes well - shall we get started then?

*nabs a pair of 'ho red' "Wally's Turn Your Head and Cough" gloves from Michele*
RIGHT! I'm ready...
* at Joe with a *