h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[sea] thank you, Mr. Monkey Deliveryman. do you take bananas for your tip?

*sea gives him some bananas*

impessive

*Monkey walks off, grumbling to itself under his breath*

[monkey] I HATE bananas! Why always with the banans? What do I look like, a Chimpanzee? I'm a genetically modified, highly evolved delivery monkey, and what do they do? Bananasbananasbananas!

*sea frowns, then returns to her judge-ly dignified manner*

[sea] where is the defense!? if they don't arrive soon, i'm doubling the bail!

*sea bangs the gavel irritably*

[starts arrangeing dominoes for chain reaction fun]

Your honor, the defense attorney in question usually takes Wednesdays off. I believe that in approximately 12 RL hours (an indeterminant amount of H2G2 time) he will no doubt be available.

should 'ave picked me

[sea] ah yes, wednesdays. although i see that it is now, in fact, friday.

*waits impatiently, considers tripling bail*

I believe him to be on his way.

*burp*

*Enters in a huff. Gets out of the huff and strides down the aisle. Waves away the rimshot monkey.*

I've just demanded an immediate hearing in the other forum, then immediately came here. It looks like my demands have been met. At least THIS bodes well.

*Takes off his top hat and addresses the judge.*

Now, since these charges are completely frivolous, and since my client poses no threat to the h2g2 community, I humbly suggest that bail be set at no more than 3

*Removes 4-layer cloak and puts it on the back of the chair behind the defense table. Unbuttons the jacket of his grey 19th century suit and checks the time on his pocket watch. Leans on his ebony cane with the gold wolf's head handle.*

[sea] no threat to the community?! he held one of our most upstanding citizens in captivity for months with no food or water or goo! i consider this a MOST grievous offense.

Sea are you Judge & Jury or just Judge, & if the 2nd option who is the jury ..?

I think that depends on what the penalty for this offense is, under STUMPED law. We may not need a jury...

On the other hand, if any STUMPED members who are just sitting around at the moment want to go sit in the jury box, I'd agree with that selection.

Anyhow, we don't need a jury to set bail. Just a judge.

*Adresses the bench*
Your honor, as the defendant's buisness, namely Crater Labs, Inc, is of great importance to smooth operation of our scociety, that and I'm helping them develop a really HUGE weapon in another thread, I concur with the defense's proposition that bail should, in fact, be set at three . I don't really think that Affy presents an escape risk, and even if he does, we'll have a really fun bounty-hunting thread!

THe only crime I see him committing is that da** Lucksucker on the battlefield.

Personally, (although I don't like him)I believe that Affy, being a member of STUMPED, is allowed a few neffarious schemes, correct?

[Drune] [enters] Could someone reiterate just what the charges are, again?

[Continues to line up dominoes...]

Red fox is probabaly right...

[Now sitting in the jury box, lineing up dominioes as he sidles along...]

Yeah... the problem with convicting a STUMPED agent is the fact that they carry a licsense for that kind of stuff.

[Drune] ... What you say?

[CATS] You have no chance to survive make your time ... Oh of uh ... [runs away from Drune, who has just armed his Buster Gun and aimed it at him]

*Clears throat*

I'd like to clear up a common misconception right now. Just because Affy's secondary persona, the Krymla Leader, was the founder of STUMPED, doesn't mean that Afgncaap5 is a member of STUMPED. In fact, Afgncaap5, the defendant on trial here, is a member of CHOPPERS, sworn enemy of STUMPED, and so on and so forth. Affy is no trial, not KL.

The Charges, to reiterate, are false imprisonment of myself. I was held without trial in the defendan'ts personal dungeon, to serve a term that was completely undefined and set by the whims of the defendant.