h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have a Dog with big strong paws,
blood-shot eyes and savage jaws.
His teeth and long and pointed
and his legs are double-jointed
and he often has a Pussy Cat for tea.

If you say "this is not true"
I'll set my Dog on you
and he'll bit your bludy leg off - just you see.

dogs are stinky.
dogs are smelly.
and their brains are made of jelly!

cats are /much/ smarter!

The Cat sat on the mat
Because the Dogs had wrecked the garden.

dogs
sniff
each other's
behinds.

'nuff said.

Dog Haiku ...

How do I love thee?

The ways are numberless as

My hairs on the rug.

There once was a cathouse for cats
with a penchant for stealing dogs' mats
but the dogs laughed last
when their bomb did blast
And left the house only fit for the rats

a dog which is dead
is worth infinite dogs which
have not been killed yet

^. .^
= ' =

i did not /steal/ a mat!

i gave a proper burial to a fallen comrade.

^. .^
= ' =

There will be payback for that foul deed. A replacement will be found.

She claims she did not steal our mat,
when the cameras show her doing just that,
But the mat we'll replace
And you'll be surprised that the face
on the mat is that of a cat.







Well, it IS a poetry corner, isn't it?

in a house of atrocities i took a rug
i assumed it to have been killed by a thug
i buried it in the proper way
and now the stinkies want me to pay
but now i'm thinking WE need a rug
perhaps made of the skin of a pug
or some other dog, although definitely NOT
the pelt of a wolf - its value is squat

Do I detect a note of despiration
at the thought of ceasing your respiration?

I admit, I've a bit of an advantage here
since my pelt, you felt, ain't worth a beer.

But there's more, in my store which is better as well
'Cus I can rhyme, all the time, with this crazy dog-gerel

do excuse me if i fail to want
to be a carcass that dogs flaunt
i tend to like being a live cat
even if dogs want to make me NOT that
and though i've said your pelt's not worth it
we need a good doormat, and it'd be perfect
so come here, doggie, i've got something for ya
and you've got my promise that it will not bore ya!
(though your head might hurt a lot for a bit
but i promise you'll not feel the rest of it!)

This threat, I bet, is merely a bluff
For the pinning, and skinning are exceedingly tough.

But my task, should you ask, will be a far more easy one,
For when canine, meets feline, the conclusion is forgone.

So, soon our floor, will no more be cold and bare
And in a while, you'll see the smile of sea lying there.

i hate dogs
they're like hogs

^. .^
= ' =

clelba!

i can't think of any good poetry. or even mediocre poetry. my brain's fried. it's too hot here. *turns on A/C* ahhh....

^. .^
= ' =

I don't care if a dog is there
With its overlarge paws and shedding hair
For with its natural style and its infinite grace
A cat is the animal that puts a smile on my face