h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*wild applause*
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I care even less, I must confess, if a cat is somewhere near,
with it's selfish way, there's naught to say, in its defence, I greatly fear

If its not using its claws, to break all the laws, of decorum with the couch and chair,
Its turning its back, to spray this way and that, or coughing up balls made of hair

On the other hand, I can understand, the love which dogs tend to inspire,
For they're always pleased, to see your stresses eased, and of you they never tire.

Whatever your mood, with or without food, they're happy to see you arrive,
And they'll stay by your side, a loyal friend to abide, with you while they are alive.

In contrast, the cat, will have none of that and stays disdainfully aloof,
And will only remain, when there's someting to gain, then goes to get stuck on the roof.

So you're welcome to choose, but I'm afraid you'll lose, if you end up with a little kitty,
For you'd be happier by far, with a dog in your car, and no litter smelling decidedly ... bad.

boo!

hiss!
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Bravo, Bravo.

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the werewolf has no brains
all he touches he stains
he has no opinion
he wets his dominion
and often he ends up in chains

cats, however, are smart
it's harder to get to their heart
they know what they want
their looks they do flaunt
they're much cleaner from the start

You started the topic of intellegence
and it won't take much of my elloquence
to show which has more
of that valueable store
and which howls at night up on the fence.

Now, think what each creature is good at
Cats can sleep, and eat and catch a rat
but I'm sure you'll agree
something you'll never see
is a blind person with a seeing-eye cat.

And if cats are as smart as you claim
then why do they treat food as a game
they prod and they poke
in a cruel little joke
and show no remorse and no shame

Now dogs, on the complete other hand
have the intellegence to understand
things that are said
and have safely led
blind people all over the land

Okay, okay, that last line is a bit lame, but I was running out of time. At least it is better than "blind people to the taxi stand" or "blind people to listen to the band" or "blind people, looking suitably grand". Hey, that last one's not too bad

cats are cool
dogs just drool
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Which, when it comes to it
Makes the big run for it
When a human throws a stick in a bush?

The dog tries to catch it
The cat just ignores it
Saying you threw it, now what's the rush?

Though the dog has some speed
There was really no need
To get the darn stick in the first place.

But the cat realised this
The stick he'll not miss
And so he gives up on the chase.

But chasing a stick is just a game,
and a ball or frisby would work the same.
While the cat disdains and sleeps in the sun
The dog is with his owner, having fun.

you guys are great!!!!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A594768
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A puppy poetry reading: woof


s rule s drool, as well as track mud in the house, leave presents on the rug and tear up gardens

Cats have grace, why else is it my middle name?

Hey! This is a poetry corner! Sling your mud with rhymes.

And it's "s are cool, s are fools"

(We've heard YOUR version before in this thread, I believe.)

It could be blank verse

"The trouble with a kitten is that
"Eventually, it becomes a cat."
O.Henry

My book of poetry's in Durham. You'll have to wait a coupla days

As far as dogs go
They're not in the know.
They've got no idea
Of what's crystal clear
and ideas that come slow.

But compared to a cat,
They're sharp as a tack
So, if it's the depths of dumb
you're wanting to plumb
Cat's are where it's at.

if you want intelligence
look for a cat
cos cats are the smart ones
and that is that

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