h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

HARUMMMMMMMPH!

*Pulls out her 42 inch ruler and measures her words, then taps Ben lightly on the head with it*

agcB is officially still the ruling champion. I haven't seen anything here that would change that status. Of course, it ain't over til the fat lady warbles....

Humph.
Pokings and snoozings and splattings.
Oh my!

Which means CP hasn't won... but the match shouldn't be over Not that easy agcB!! Even I wasn't that much of a pushover....

*releases several of Egypts plagues upon the combatants*

*roots around in her magic bag and pulls out a fondue pot and some *

*nabs some locusts and dips them in the pot*

Well, for we immortals who feel the need to quit smoking, is a tried and true substitute, ya know.


*crunch*

Chocolate is still good, even if you don't have any need to quit smoking, due to not starting It is a tad addicting.

*helps herself to some of MoGs chocolate, and sits down next to her to chit chat*

Nice to see you've still got the rings I had to give up... I've gathered new ones now, so all is good again. How've you been doing? I haven't seen much of you lately, maybe I'm just hanging out in the wrong part of Olympus?

Phew! Does this mean that the battle hasn't finished yet?

*Caper Plip disappears, leaving the scent of iodine solution wafting around, and reappears as Essex boy TV chef Jamie Oliver.*

Alright, darling? Everythin' lookin' pukka 'round 'ere!



Anyone for stir-fried locust? I tell ya, this tastes absolutely wicked!

I'll pass, my dear. I have but one rule regarding my diet. The only thing I'll eat with eyes is black-eyed peas. Immersing the locusts in didn't help any. I could FEEL the eyes with my taste buds.

I've been around, doing more lurking than posting lately. Something new and divine is in the works, but until it's complete I'm sworn to secrecy. I'll let y'all know when it comes to fruition, though.

Okay then...

*produces a tray of and some for those with more conventional tastes*

Hey, darling, only making use of the local speciality...

<grabs and whips up a chocolate with a drop of >

Who fancies a pop at this then?

*Caper Plip turns to Ben, who is blinded by the cocky laddishness, startlingly good looks and culinary skills of the Essex lad as he seems to accommodate all three of her Manifestations.*

Trust me CP.. there is NO way to satisfy all three of her manifestations! The maiden is easy enough, and even the mother... but the crone ...

*reaches for a locust, pops its eyes out and eats them*

*hands the rest to MoG *
Doesn't break your rules now

Ummmmmmm...... thanks.
*gingerly takes the locust by a leg and dips it in the fondue pot*

*crunch*
Now that's right tasty! (with a bit of leg stuck between her teeth)

I have it on pretty good authority that you can satisfy the crone with a nice stiff one, Apollo.

*rummages in her magic bag and pulls out a . Here, try this and see what happens.

*Saturn Girl motions to one of her mortal man servants, asking him to get her a Jones Soda.* Anyone else want something while he's up?

Sounds like you're going for the old 'I'M INVINCIBLE! MWHA-HAHA!' type thingy-wotsit, darling...

*Caper Plip ditches the Jamie Oliver look, changing back to Lleyton Hewitt.*

How about this, mate?

*She removes herself from cognitive sight, but is still there somewhere... but strangely, everything seems to be vanishing. The graffiti on the fortress walls, the documents of King Priam and King Menelaus, the Egyptian plagues, everything in the known and unknown realms... all replaced by three bracketed words: [removed by moderator]

Everything anyone tries to do is moderated and removed, if anyone tries to say anything about it or about anything else, it is moderated and removed... Ben fades away, vanishing completely and is replaced by those three bracketed words [removed by moderator], never to be seen again.

Caper Plip has turned herself into a BBC moderator.*

*The Sun God, brandishing a dislike of moderators, wonders whether or not it is time to review a certain goddesses' position on the Pantheon...
*

--by the way CP, be careful that you don't destroy the universe...it is strictly prohibited--

The universe is still there as far as I can see... I never said that I destroyed it... just the realms inside it have been moderated and other stuff etc..

*gazes in wonder at the murk*
*reaches for her moderated cosmicpolitan <******>*


Damn. That's a new twist.

*The Goddess called Ben manifests as the crone, blind, with her hearing aid turned off, and with all her other (pan-dimensional) senses at full peak*

Cassandra?

Ah there you are girl.

*Cassandra, princess of Troy and prophetess steps out through the mists of space and time*

Ok Cassandra, let's see what we can do about this spoonerised stationery.....