h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*The fiery underworld, home to tortured souls. To get in, you must get by the guardian--the three-headed devildog, Cerberus.*

::impressed::

Still in the works any suggestions?

....You see Orpheus on his way out with Eurydice!?? No... if you Orpheus on his way out with Eurydice, DON'T tell him to turn around!!!

Hahahahaa...

Do you mean suggestions for Mount Olympus!?? HErrrmm.... Oh!!! THANK YOU for the link to the Musehome... Could you, for the sake of Greek Mythology Consistency, put (Mount Helicon) next to the link in parenthesis, as that IS the mountain of the muses!!!

*reaches into her magic bag and removes three doggie biscuits, which she tosses to Cerberus*

Nice doggie... gonna let me in now?

**Cerberus wolfs down the biscuits *burp* *burp* *brrrrrrrrrrrrp* and sheepishly wags his tail at MoG**

What do you seek in Hades, oh great Mother of God!??

*a goddess called Ben tries to get past Cerebus. She doesn't have any of those useful 'nice doggie' dog biscuits, though. But then she splits into in her three manifestations of Mother Maiden and Crone!*

The Mother says 'Sit!'
The Maiden says 'Come here!'
And the Crone throws a stick and says 'Fetch!'

*And while Cereus is sorting that lot out, the goddess called Ben slips quietly past!*



agcB

(that was very clever...!!!!)

She IS incredibly clever, isn't she?

I'm just checking out the real estate, my dear. Got an insider tip, thought it might be a good place to homestead for a while before the masses pile in. Is it a requirement to be a tortured soul if you wanna set up housekeeping, though? Not so sure I'd qualify, under those standards.

But the heating bills would be low, and the company would be great.

Anyone want to start a poker game? The crone feels like having a little fun.

***B

*shuffles cards hopefully and swigs her gin *

Poker?
*riffle*
Blackjack?
*cut*
Criple Mr Onion?

Oh well... solitaire it is.
*lays out a hand of impatience*

Maybe that damn dog is putting people off... how can we get rid of him?
*swigs gin meditatively *

a called Ben

He's a sweet fella, though his breath IS kinda scary.... they REALLY don't feed him enough.

I'll join you for a Ben. Won't even attempt a card game, though. Never seem to remember the rules... guess I'm getting addled in my old age.

*manifests as Mother*

That's a good idea, MoG - I'll feed him, poor chap, he's so thin...

*feeds dog three bowls: one of chicken and tuna, one of rabbit and beef, and one of fire and brimstone*

*pours and settles down by Mother of God*

I don't know, that stuff the Crone gets up to is SO embarrassing - you think she would have more sense at her age. Now tell me MoG, how's the boy doing?

*gossip*
*natter*
*chatter*
*shocked look!*
*suppressed giggle*

a goddess called Ben

*Saturn Girl comes upon Cerberus, and walks right up to him, scratching him on each of his three necks, then she walks right past him, and looks around. She admires the penthouses, mansions and castles that her mother told her all the people working in car dealerships already have reserved for them when they get to Hades. Taking a couple minutes to track down the penthouses reserved for the people working in the offices of the dealerships, like her mother, and finds the house with her mom's name already on it. Satisfied she'll be able to find her mother after she dies, she heads off to find a goddess called Ben, and MoG*

MoG, may I suggest investing in property soon? The Car dealership people are multiplying like jack rabbits, and they all come here when they kick the bucket... some even come before (those usually are the general managers who drag the whole dealership with them)....

Your's Truely,
The Bombshell Goddess

Thanks for the advice, my dear. I just finished the closing-- great rates in these parts. I only had to sell my soul for a nice piece of pit-front property. Got a lovely little chateau to enjoy the winters in, a fireplace in every room!. Just hope I don't get cabin fever.... We'll have to have a house warming party one day soon. I do a mean bar-b-que.

In the deepest darkest pits of hell, and here you ladies are just chattering away...


typical women...

Goddesses, darlin! Goddesses!

Goddesses don't chatter, we discuss important things (like property investments) While golden thighed gods who can't manage to win a fight are splitting themselves into three to give all three of the goddesses back rubs!

Your's Truely,
The Bombshell Goddess

Down a bit... one more vertebra... Yes! Just there!

*turns back to the goddesses*

One of the nice things about hell is how many lawyers there are here. Makes 'em nice and cheap.

a goddess with a very comfortable back, called Ben

*Realising that she doesn't have either doggie biscuits or three different manifestations of herself, she tries a different approach.*

*Caper Plip takes out her magic tennis racquet and points it at Cerberus' tail. The tail now magically disappears from the dog's rear end, and reappears enticingly in front of him. The tail then moves off towards the exit of Hades. Cerberus, being a dog, albeit with three heads, duly starts chasing his tail.*

*Caper Plip saunters innocently into the Underworld.*