h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*notes Caper Plip's innocence, wonders how long it will take for it to tarnish in these parts...*

Great trick with the pooch! Somebody shut the gate, quick, before he escapes and raises all sorts of hell somewhere!

*rummages in her magic bag and offers C.P. some (slightly gooey) .*

What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?

Hi there!

Well, seeing that the wonderfully rubbish weather has taken out all the grass courts on Earth, I was just wondering whether there were any tennis courts in warmer climes.

So I thought, 'Hades: That place is a bit warm, innit?'

Do you do clay, grass or that dohickey Rebound ACE stuff?



Caper Plip

PS. BTW, how is God? He's not coming home at unmentionable times in the morning and bringing home strange giggly, mortals?

I don't know if they've put any tennis courts in yet... it's a relatively new deveolpment here, you know. Perhaps you could build one, if you like. Labor's cheap, and there's plenty of land to be had for a song.

My boy's been missing in action for quite some time, now. With any luck he'll be popping up at the homestead sometime soon.... I've been patiently awaiting his return so I can ramble on about his misadventures to my friends again, just like any proper doting momma. *sigh* He got stuck in a traffic jam, is just waiting for it all to be sorted out.

Ah...

Kids today, eh?

Not like the old omnipotent beings of old times.



Ah, those were the days...

Caper Plip

so like wat god U mother ov den?
N wat kinda mother are you ?

My boy? He's lil' Peetie God. Not a bad fella, though his ego is enormous. It's my job as mum to deflate it occasionally, otherwise his head would be bigger than the universe. Can't allow for that sort of paradox, you know. It's not fair to his creations.

I guess I'm the mostly harmless kind of mother.

Cosmicpolitans, anyone?

It's nice to see more people coming in to visit now and again. I'm in the mood for some ice cream, anyone else want some while I'm running for it? I'll hav'ta bring refridgeration units with me to keep it from melting too fast, but that shouldn't be hard for a bombshell, huh?



ps. I got my hair cut, BTW... It's really really short now... I'm still getting used to it, but it's sooooo much easier to take care of. And it looks cool.

Yum! Ice cream!

Caper Plip

*eyeballs her increasingly matronly backside, eyeballs the icecream...*

Just a small serving, please. Distressing that some of us deities need to diet, butt....

*bastet sneaks in while cerebus is still occupied with tail chasing*

ah, but voluptuous women are worshipped, MoG. just look at venus de milo...

So true! But the Venus de Milo knew when to abstain, didn't she? I haven't seen HER reaching for icecream for quite some time now.

True, true.

I'll just knock some off the walls then.

Caper Plip

"Raven walks through the gates of Hell. As Cerberus sees Raven he wimpers and then starts to wag his tail. Raven walks up to him and tickles him behind the ear. Cerberus jumps up and starts to lick Raven's face then follows him as Raven walks on into Hell*

Hi everyone! I see yur enjoying the warmth. It's nice to be back, I used to live here you know. In fact my house is just up there and there's a fridge! Anyone want a drink?

*Raven walks up the hill to a ramshackle looking house, kicks the door down then drags out the fridge. He then brings out a chair and goes to sit with the rest of the gods*

Help yourself! Oh by the way, there was a tennis court here but the net was burnt off during last years tournament! It shouldn't be too hard to get someone to rebuild the whole thing though! Just offer them something they really want, like a bottle of cold water!

Raven

Yay! I have a plan for the tennis courts in Hades!

Just having fun kicking Apollo's backside in The Battle of the Gods!

Caper Plip

~ a puffy purplish cloud drifts in from the smoky horizon and belches forth a rain of frogs onto the gathering~

Ribbit?

Hmm
That's odd...even for hell....

*eyes frog*
*dodges *

*Saturn Girl picks up a cute little blue frog, names him Ray, and wanders off with her new pet, wondering what happened to her lizard....*

*the goddess called Ben wanders in, wearing a trenchcoat, carrying fish and chips, and manifesting as Mother*

Hello Saturn Girl, have you seen any of those nice firemen? I thought they might be hungry. Oh, and I found your lizard, dear. Do you want him back, or shall I look after him for you?

*The lizard pops its head out from inside the trench coat, and starts eating the fish and chips (which are getting cold and greasy by now, but don't tell Mother)*

the goddess called Ben

Firemen? Here ???
Are you sure that's a wise thing, Ben? They'd put a damper on the ambiance in here, wouldn't they?

On the other hand....

*contemplates publishing the Firemen of Hades calendar, and judging the entries*

hmmmmmm..... that has PROMISE!