h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If you are not playing the role of First Mate Richardson, then DO NOT READ ANY MORE OF THIS THREAD!!

"Tau Ceti Needs Women!"

THE FIRST MATE

Albert G. Richardson
AKA Hablert of Tau Ceti, Alien Geneticist

YOUR STORY - It has been nearly a decade (in Earth measurements) since the Plague Year, and Tau Ceti has yet to recover. True, the plague was never life threatening. That is why it was allowed to spread out of control before anyone reacted with alarm. By then it was much too late. Fewer than 5% of your race's females remain fertile.

All of your planet's scientists (yourself included) mobilised to save your race. Massive cloning projects have been initiated, but the resulting clones have all been sterile. What Tau Ceti needs is breeding stock.

The prevailing view is that a surgical method of reversing the plague's damage must be found. Hopefully, such a cure can be found and implemented before your race dies of old age.

Your research went in another direction. Your people knew of Earth from old surveys conducted by the Procyons. Earth humans are indistinguishable from Cetaceans and anatomically amazingly similar. You became convinced that Cetaceans and humans could produce fertile offspring.

Your theories were viewed as heresy. You were criticised, vilified, chastised, and had your funding cut.

In desperation you stole a space ship and headed for Earth.

Now you are a criminal, and face life in prison for your crime (Cetaceans take their space ships very seriously). You cannot return to Tau Ceti without conclusive proof that your theory is correct.

So you set out to breed with a human.

You had heard that sailors have the best luck with women so you decided to become a sailor. With a few stolen RNA samples (a mostly harmless procedure) you were able to inject yourself with all there was to know about sailing ships. Soon you were a much sought after ship's mate.

You love the life, possible a psychological affect of the RNA learning, but more likely because being a sailor is a good life. But your mission has been a failure. You met many women who were interested in you, but none who wanted to bear you children.

Then you sailed with Captain Briggs on the Sea Foam. Benjamin Briggs is the finest man you have ever met; and a more capable sailor by nature than you are from artificial learning. The two of you became fast friends. Then the Captain introduced you to his wife.

It was love at first sight. You know that's mutual, though Sarah denies it. You had an affair. It was greatest experience of your life. After only a month Sarah decided to put an end to it, for the good of her marriage. Of course by then she was already pregnant with your child.

You have tried to rekindle your affair, but Sarah will hear none of it. For her husband's good she denies your love. Frankly, you aren't too thrilled about trashing your friend Benjamin either. But you know in your heart that you and Sarah are destined to be together. If only you can convince Sarah to follow her heart.

Lizzie is your daughter, you used your scanner on her soon after she was born and there is no doubt (you can't fool Cetacean high technology). Sarah, of course, denies this completely, insisting that Lizzie is Benjamin's.

At any rate, you cannot return to Tau Ceti without undeniable proof of your theories, and that means you have to take Sarah and Lizzie home with you.

This should be a simple matter. This should be. The hard part should be getting Sarah to admit she wants to be with you. After that all you have to do is call your ship and order a shuttle sent by remote control for you and your family. However, further complications have occurred.

You seem to have depowered your transmitter. You probably did it while transmitting your journal to storage on your ship. You tend to ramble on poetically when Sarah is the subject.

Now you have to recharge your transmitter or you're stuck here. You could do it with lightning, but during a lightning storm you have more pressing duties than playing about with lightning rods. You may be an alien and a scientist but you are also the First Mate, and you would never neglect your ship or your mates during a storm (living among human sailors has rubbed off on you).

There may be a simple solution. You did a general area scan for energy readings on the Mary Celeste to test your scanner and found several pin point energy sources. Some the scanner couldn't identify so they must be anomalies (you can't fool Cetacean high technology). Others appeared clear as a bell. Batteries! Someone on the Mary Celeste has batteries! You'll need to conduct short range scans to locate them.

Just now you have ship's duties to conduct. You have not made an entry in the Mary Celeste's log in four days, you've been busy with the storms and there has been nothing to report but the weather and the ship's position. Tonight you'll have much to report. While everyone was watching the mysterious savage in the canoe you were investigating a noise in the forecastle. You found a stowaway. Frankly, you were considerably more startled than she was. She says her name is Dr. Amelia Rangel but she's quite closed mouthed about everything else. Not that it was a very long interview, you immediately reported her to the Captain. As you found her you have been made responsible for her, you'll have to get Miss Rangel's story while the Captain interrogates the savage woman.

Fascinating woman, this Amelia Rangel, you could see that mmediately. Very striking. In may ways she reminds you of Sarah. You've just got to learn everything about her.

GOALS AT A GLANCE - You must get Sarah to admit that she loves you. Then you must recharge your recall device, summon the shuttle from your ship, and leave with Sarah and your child. Try not to think about what you are doing to Captain Briggs. Oh, and learn more about this fascinating Rangel woman.

ROLE-PLAYING HINT - You try to be coldly professional in all things, but you are only partly successful. For a scientist you are terribly good at rationalising, and you tend to see things the way you want to see them. Cetaceans have more in common with humans that just sexual compatibility.

STATISTICALLY - You are a fit young man and could probably hold your own in a fight with most of the crew. You'll be at a disadvantage should a crisis call for the Captain to break open the weapon's locker - you are no marksman and you have never even held a cutlass. On the other hand, you've got your disruptor (and you can't beat Cetacean high technology).

THE OTHER CHARACTERS

CAPTAIN BRIGGS - Your Captain, your friend, and the finest man you know (on any planet). He's quite on edge today, probably he's still overly nervous about the Mary Celeste's "volatile" cargo. An aggressive teetotaller such as the Captain probably should not be dealing with alcohol drinkable or not. You aim to serve the Captain to the best of your ability - right up to the moment you run off with his wife and abduct the child he believes is his own.

SECOND MATE DANE GILLING - You don't know Dane very well. He's a good mate, though he's inexperienced (which is why he's second to you). Lately he's been in uncommon good spirits, as if he's looking forward to something.

ALBERT HEAD, THE COOK - An excellent cook, but the man is addicted to fish. It would be fish for every meal, but the crew grumbled and the (Captain ordered Head to vary the menu).

THE FOUR JOHANS - The crew, all German born. To keep them straight you use just their last names. Lorenzen hasn't had a moment of good cheer all voyage, frowning and grumbling at everything.

Martens is also having a bad voyage. He is the most superstitious man you know and his superstitions have manifested as full blown paranoia. Everyone is sick of listening to him.

Volkert and Goodschad are inseparable, and only a madman would want to separate them. They are ideal seamen, an almost unbeatable team, and you would never want to go against them (possibly a problem as Goodschad is quite devoted to little Lizzie).

SARAH BRIGGS - How can she deny the love you both felt the moment your eyes met? You must bring her around or your mission to Earth is a failure.

LIZZIE BRIGGS - Your daughter. A strange, quiet child, she rarely plays the way a normal three-year-old would. She's clearly brilliant and that makes you very proud. She doesn't seem to like you and won't let you get close, which you find very depressing.

THE CASTAWAY IN THE CANOE - It is quite impossible to cross the Atlantic in an open boat made of hides. So how did she get here? You can hardly wait to hear what she has to say to the Captain.

THE STOWAWAY - A fascinating woman, you could tell that at first sight. Could she really have remained hidden on the Mary Celeste for 23 days! You are looking forward to your interview with her. Very striking woman.

THE CAT - Strange animal. It's constantly staring at everyone. You're glad there are no cats on Tau Ceti.

ITEMS

STRANGE, BOX-LIKE GADGET - This is your scanner.

STRANGE, TUBE-LIKE GADGET -This is your disruptor.

STRANGE, BOX-LIKE GADGET WITH A METAL PRONG - Your recharger, just touch the prong to a battery and steal it's charge, then transfer it to your transmitter.

KEYS - For everything on the ship but the men's personal sea chests and the weapons locker (the Captain has the only key for that).

ITEMS NOT ON YOUR PERSON

TRANSMITfER - This is in your sea chest, under your bunk.

MARY CELESTE'S LOGBOOK - The Mary Celeste's log is on a small table in your cabin.

SPECIAL ABILITIES

AUTHORITY FIGURE - Your authority is second only to the Captain's. If disobeyed you may mete out appropriate punishment.

HIGH TECH DEVICES

SCANNER - This has two modes. With a General Area Scan you can test the entire ship and surrounding ocean, but you cannot get a fix on any readings and you must specify what you are looking for (energy readings, life signs, etc.) With a Specific Scan you can learn all there is to learn about your target, but the range is only 5 feet. You have enough power for 15 minutes of continuous scanning.

DISRUPfOR - Can stun or kill a normal man depending on how you set it (very strong men have been known to survive the "Kill" setting, Volkert is the only one aboard for whom you believe this might apply). "Stun" lasts an average of 5 minutes, less for strong targets more for weak ones. You have a 5 shot capacity, each shot counts as one action and has to be aimed (you can't shoot at more than one target before someone shoots back, but then neither can someone with a revolver).

SPACE SHIP AND SHUTTLE - Power up your transmitter and you can summon the shuttle and leave in 10 minutes. The shuttle has a capacity of 4. Note that in a pinch you can drain your Scanner and Disruptor and have enough power to summon the shuttle, but not to land it safely -there is a fair chance it will crash.

MEDICAL SKILLS - You are a geneticist, not a doctor, but anyone who can take RNA samples from someone's brain without hurting them could do a little minor surgery if the right tools were available.

You are not authorized to read any of the fact sheets.

does my character look like a human naturally? or are there any physical appearances that have to be covered up......

Nope. Nothing to cover up. As your description says: "Earth humans are indistinguishable from Cetatceans and anatomically amazingly similar." After all, you DID successfully, um, breed, with the Captain's wife.

*smacks his forehead with the palm of his hand*

stupid stupid stupid.....

oh well.....

just ignore me......

No problem. Some of the others have printed out their descriptions for reference. I, of course, have them all in hard copy too.

hey there.... what a splendid idea!

should we not read the conversational backlog for rooms we are not in? to maintain the continuity?

Must i have sarah? or can i complete my goals with any woman willing to mate with me?

You can read the room threads, but your character won't have heard what was said before you came in, with the exception of the last post. In conversation threads, if you decide to break in on it, don't read any but the last post.

You could have any other woman, except that you have already successfully bred with Sarah. She and your child are the proof that you need. If you were to use another woman, you would have to wait another 9 months, at least. "Bermuda" sure is attractive, though.

Mr. Richardson - you are doing well pursuing the last goal in your "goals at a glance" section, but don't forget your other goals When Amelia is away, you could go after some of the other things you need to do.

i'm still not sure how i'm gonna go about looking for the batteries...... it is proving to be quite a dilemma

Reread you character description for some help. It says that you did a wide area energy scan and found some pin point sources and that you now need to do some short range scans. So, what you need to do is get close to someone and scan them (use your scanner in your pocket, or something - no need to post anything about scanning in the thread, only that you are near so-and-so). Then ask me here what you found.

Regarding the new Ghost character. You can't hear or see him.

seeing as i'm in my cabin with Amelia i'll scan Amelia.... the scanner is in my inside coat pocket..... lets just assume that i went and got it from my stash earlier.... *smiles*

I'm posting from the library and I don't have my notes (Wednesdays are my normal day off), so I'll answer tomorrow when I get back to my office. Sorry.

no prob bob..... for that matter i scanned the cat too..... not like she is gonna have much of interest in her many pockets......

Scan results:

Amelia - implanted behind her ear is a temporal recall device! So, she is a time traveller from another time. That explains her showing up so suddenly. The recall device is powered by batteries. (The recall device is what she will use to return to her own time.)

The Cat - your scan reveals the cat to be an Procyron android. Your planet is at peace with the Procyrons, but you had no idea that they had any presence on earth. The cat is also powered by batteries, but is already partially discharged.

Wow! You sure can't beat Cetacean high technology!

*laughs out loud* HA!!! this is so great......