h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Sharp]: *oils the portcullis*

"A proper portcullis is s'pposed to make a 'grating' noise, not a squeaky one."

*tweaks/adjusts the drawbridge mechanism*

"That oughtta cut the 'lag time' by about 1/2..."

[Sharp]: *& also cleans the rust off of antique suits of ceremonial armor in the hall.*

: That's kinda alot like a "real" engineer... .

[Sharp]: "Are there any 'special projects' you'd like me to work on, ... (as of the moment)grand-sir(e)?"

[King Michael] Well, it would be nice if we could get the rain to fall in the fields but not on the roadways.

King Michael = good king, but not always bright

[Sharp]: "... , hafta add that one onto my 'to-do' list..."
(thinks): How the h*ll could I convince a powerful enough water-elementalist to alter the weather?! .

[Sharp]: "Oh! . I got an idea... It would be rather (how would one say) 'problematic' to change the weather patterns of local rainfall, but if you want to make sure the crops... how does an 'irrigation system' sound?..."

[Sharp]: "So, some say, they sayeth that yer majesty hath a daughter,-is this not correct?"

"I have a ly god-uncle... would you like to meet him sometime?"

[Sharp]: "Now, about that 'irrigation system'..."

[King Michael] *examines plans for irrigation* Sound like excellent ideas ... try asking the Minister of Agroculture ... oh wait we don't have one

[Sharp]: "Oh well, - Supposing that be a set of plans then to save for another day..."
(Thinks):

[Sharp]: *Gets a brilliant idea *

"Say King Michael, you wouldn't happen to have say some really strong work-horses I could get to pull a set of complex 'drilling plowshare' machinery? Or oxen? Any type of some sort of really strong 'pack animal' or 'beast of burden' would do right proper."

*suddenly unrolls a cleverly put together, but easy enough (if not also readily/easily enough to explain any of the 'tricky parts') blueprint plan.*

"Y'see, I figure we could get the 'pack animals' to pull the machine across the path that the 'irrigation system' is to be laid out upon..."

*indicates how it (the machine) is all pretty much planned out to be taken care of in one easy package. There are mechanisms to 'trench'/dig out 'canals' or 'irrigation channels', digging machinery, and even devices to be used for the specific purpose of "laying out any necessary piping"*

"...Pretty clever, eh?"

[Sharp]: " though, of course-the actual charting out of where to have the stuff go would necessarily need to be done first...(Lest otherwise there'd be a-piping running all throughout and about the kingdom , e'ery which way ), You wouldn't happen to have a cartographer? You know, the fellow responsible for making all the detailed maps of the local regions here (& stuff like that). Probably be good to get some help from him (or her) in this project as well (remember, I still don't know this country entirely too well)."

[Sharp]: *re-enters, still rather glum & albeit though not-quite 'miserable'...* :

"Oh, Hi King Michael. I'm bummed...
'Cuz, the shop I own, -my business partner, he just, (, this is the bit), altogether disappeared in a most-mysterious fashion, and our one tenant decided to leave town (she just 'upped and left' town due to this really long-/-stuffy debate/argument 'thingy'), Y'know?"

*thinks about the scenarios though.-Tries to see "the big"/or @ least a bigger picture*

"Well,-at least I have this job..."

(later): [Sharp]: "Oh, I do apologize for being/soundin' so-incoherent Yer Majesty, I was might depressed & had earlier."

[Sharp]: "Begging your Majesty's pardon, for showing up to the court, drunken and with a hangover earlier (Also am for anything stupid/ that I may have done while drunk). I hope I have not unduly disgraced anyone in the meantime..."

[King Michael] I've been known to have a glass or two too many in my time as well

[Sharp]: *breathes a quick sigh of relief*

: Last post before i hear a reply...Honest!
[Sharp]: "So, King Michael, I'm also working on this project involving constructing an airship/hot-air balloon... would the idea of a Royal Airship Navy perhaps interest ye?"

[Sharp]: "Right, alrighto! I've got the blueprints made and schematics all pretty much figured out. Now all that's left Your majesty, is to decide where it is that you want to have the 'irrigation system laid out at (Ta-da!)."