A Conversation for Wind force twelve abaft the Beam
in a rowing boat on the loch
shagbark Posted Jul 2, 2009
In Inverness shagbark drives in to a hotel and registers as Edward Teach.
in a rowing boat on the loch
shagbark Posted Jul 2, 2009
the clerk takes one look at him and decides not to ask for ID
http://www.teachshole.com/blackbe1.jpg
in a rowing boat on the loch
shagbark Posted Jul 2, 2009
in his luxury hotel room shagbark is almost sorry he cut the rope to the rowboat.
He pours a stiff drink 
and wonders where the captain and lanzababy ended up.
in a rowing boat on the loch
Alec Trician. (is keeping perfectly still) Posted Jul 2, 2009
*alec surfaces with the severed strands of the rowboat towrope between his teeth...he strikes for the distant shore, his muscular strokes easily pulling the heavily laden rowboat to safety...*
Yes, this is the spot, let woofbark have his fun down in Inverness, it's full of men pretending to be women down there anyway...
This, has got to be the best spot on the loch :
http://www.aboutscotland.co.uk/ness/urquhart.html
As far as i remember, there's a quiet hotel near here somewhere
alec.
in a rowing boat on the loch
Lanzababy - Guide Editor Posted Jul 2, 2009
Thank goodness you turned up Alec! There's some really odd stuff going on, even odder than normal!
I've just met a 
In particular, the Ghost of the Zaphodistas 
in a rowing boat on the loch
Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ Posted Jul 2, 2009
wha'?
ah, here we are. just in time for a few
in a rowing boat on the loch
Lanzababy - Guide Editor Posted Jul 2, 2009
Mornin' Cap'n Sire
I shall order some porridge with whisky followed by some bacon and eggs. toast, jam, pot of tea and then I shall find a decent bed and go to sleep for a few hours...
in a rowing boat on the loch
Alec Trician. (is keeping perfectly still) Posted Jul 2, 2009
This looks like the place...
http://www.fromoldbooks.org/BartholomewsThoroughGuides-SouthWales/pages/Back-Adverts-12-Scotland-Lochness-Drumnadrochit-Hotel/
The Drumnadrochit Hotel
I think the bar's open...
alec.
in a rowing boat on the loch
Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ Posted Jul 2, 2009
aye, this looks cozy 
thanks for your help, alec. can i repay you with a few at the bar? 
in a rowing boat on the loch
Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ Posted Jul 2, 2009
lanzababy, care to join me for dinner tonight? 
i just invited alec for drinks at the bar, but maybe you would like to join us when you've had your nap?
in a rowing boat on the loch
Lanzababy - Guide Editor Posted Jul 2, 2009
That is very gracious Sire! Thank you!
I shall join you shortly!
(hopes that haggis neaps and tatties don't figure on the menu)
in a rowing boat on the loch
Lanzababy - Guide Editor Posted Jul 2, 2009
Lanzababy joins the Officers and Captain in the bar - dressed in a shimmering floor length designer evening gown, courtesy of Shagbark's 'Forget you ever saw me' Pirate shopping technique.
in a rowing boat on the loch
Alec Trician. (is keeping perfectly still) Posted Jul 2, 2009
?? R E P A Y me Capting Piriform ??
Certainly not !
I consider it my DUTY to get you to the nearest bar when er difficulties arise sir. I believe it's even written down in the "INSTRUCTIONS TO CREWPERSONS" notices that are posted at the muster stations on board that mighty vessel "The Blood of the Zaphodistas"
I've got a copy of it right here look... might be a bit difficult to read...but you can just about make it out :
1. Don't Panic.
2. STOP PANICKING !
3. Launch the lifeboat where the alcohol is stored FIRST !
4. Make your way by whatever means you can to the nearest shore.
...(If no nearby shore and no lifeboat you may as well start swimming downwards now.
IF YOU MAKE IT TO SHORE AND CRAWL UP THE BEACH :
5. Locate Captain Plonker...ensure immediate passage to closest supply of
6. After your first , remember that you forgot to tell Sharkbreath up in the Pelicans whotsit all about that 'abandon ship' thingy that just happened.
7. Tell everybody how you tried to get all the women and children off first.
8.
9. Have another.
*salutes smartly* 
and puts trousers back on, thinks to himself "...i knew that having those instructions tattooed across my left buttock would come in handy one day...".*
of course...now that we're here Capting Porcine... i mean...
it's probably your round Sir.
alec.
in a rowing boat on the loch
Lanzababy - Guide Editor Posted Jul 2, 2009
If it wasn't for you Alec, I think the Captain and I would still be rowing aimlessly round the loch
in a rowing boat on the loch
Alec Trician. (is keeping perfectly still) Posted Jul 2, 2009
"10. Stand by to assist Capting Piagra"
>aside
Would you like me to help you push the rowboat OUT again Sir ??
aside<
alec.
in a rowing boat on the loch
Lanzababy - Guide Editor Posted Jul 2, 2009
No, 
please leave the rowboat where it is. I can't possibly go boating in these shoes - or dress - but mainly the shoes.
Do you think the evening merits a bit of bling?
Oh and give the Captain a surreptitious prod will you Alec, I think he's fallen asleep again
in a rowing boat on the loch
Alec Trician. (is keeping perfectly still) Posted Jul 2, 2009
er...sorry lanzababy, prodding Capting Paracelsius is NOT in my job description...
Just reach for his ...that usually wakes him up.
alec.
in a rowing boat on the loch
Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ Posted Jul 3, 2009
where's me 
thanks again, alec, let's have another round
and now let's see what's on this 'ere menu
in a rowing boat on the loch
Lanzababy - Guide Editor Posted Jul 3, 2009
C'mon Captain Pierce, it's your round again!
I am expecting some looted whisky soon, Shagbark is making his way here with a motor launch full of the stuff.
Is that the sound of his engine?
in a rowing boat on the loch
shagbark Posted Jul 3, 2009
Shaqgbark walks in to the Drumnadrochit Hotel.
'ning hwe tells his fellows. I guess you heard it has been a busy night north of here
Key: Complain about this post
in a rowing boat on the loch
- 21: shagbark (Jul 2, 2009)
- 22: shagbark (Jul 2, 2009)
- 23: shagbark (Jul 2, 2009)
- 24: Alec Trician. (is keeping perfectly still) (Jul 2, 2009)
- 25: Lanzababy - Guide Editor (Jul 2, 2009)
- 26: Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ (Jul 2, 2009)
- 27: Lanzababy - Guide Editor (Jul 2, 2009)
- 28: Alec Trician. (is keeping perfectly still) (Jul 2, 2009)
- 29: Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ (Jul 2, 2009)
- 30: Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ (Jul 2, 2009)
- 31: Lanzababy - Guide Editor (Jul 2, 2009)
- 32: Lanzababy - Guide Editor (Jul 2, 2009)
- 33: Alec Trician. (is keeping perfectly still) (Jul 2, 2009)
- 34: Lanzababy - Guide Editor (Jul 2, 2009)
- 35: Alec Trician. (is keeping perfectly still) (Jul 2, 2009)
- 36: Lanzababy - Guide Editor (Jul 2, 2009)
- 37: Alec Trician. (is keeping perfectly still) (Jul 2, 2009)
- 38: Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ (Jul 3, 2009)
- 39: Lanzababy - Guide Editor (Jul 3, 2009)
- 40: shagbark (Jul 3, 2009)
More Conversations for Wind force twelve abaft the Beam
Write an Entry
"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."