h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Again with the bribes! I'm an idealist, I tell you and I'm in this election because of strongly held beliefs, a genuine and sincere conviction that we, the forces of innovation and rectitude (yes!), can make a real difference to the everyday life of all researchers, of whatever nationality, gender or species and furthermore ...



... we're going to win! Yes!

What do you mean by 'best' exactly?

*whispers in TT's ear*

*giggles at word 'rectitute'*

Do you really think that researchers want Big Government poking around, trying to make a difference in their lives but really just making them worse? I don't. I think you'll keep the tax around to pay for some of your more lavish 'life improving' programs.

But that's neither here nor there. We at H4P have taken notice of your excellent campaigning style, and a similarly excellent job is open to you if you wish to be on the winning team

Maybe I want Big Government - I mean, what's the point of holding power if all you get to do is take extended holidays and swan around on yachts? Eh? Eh?

I'm going to have to think about this ...

Bagpuss, dear friend, I thank you for your support. I am especially pleased that you have become our 31st declared supporter. As such, you will be richly rewarded. I shall have Wolfgang create a special curry and name it after you, for starters and declare that it be served at the inagural dinner. And I shall take the oath of office wearing a flat cap.

Trin Tragula, I wish you and Reddyfrerddy good luck and wish to confirm that should you decide to withdraw from the race, we will be happy to welcome you both and your supporters into our camp.

... oh god that was so dignified ... what a noble president Hypatia would make ... *ggnnnhhh* no ... need to stay focussed ... need to *ggnnnhhh* stay mean ... stay mean ...

Oh yeah, I probably should mention that Hyp is much more graceful and nice than me.

Luckily, the Vice President has even less power than the Prez. And I *promise* that I'm not going to poison her Bagpuss curry and usurp the throne.

Gosh, what a splendid, dignified figure. It makes you wonder why she hangs around with us lot.

Jodan, you asked what title I'd like. Now, Vice Vice President has a certain ring to it, but do you need an Abelian Advisor? I could commute.






... sorry, mathematical joke.

Oh no, I totally understood that joke

Would you prefer Abelian Advisor to VVP, or were you just using it for the joke that I obviously understood? Either one's fine with me. We sure do need an Abelian Advisor... if nothing else, to tell me what 'Abelian' is.

The extent of our party's mathematical ignorance is pretty much limitless. I'm looking at the fingers on my left hand right now and I'm completely lost: six? twelve?

We need you more!

A party shouldn't need voters: It is my personal belief that voters need Hypatia

Trin, you could always join the Ozark Party. I think we could help you out.

All right. How many fingers am I holding up?

Honestly... If you can't count the number of fingers on your hand, how are you supposed to know if the answer's correct or not?

I see. Dodging the question, eh?

Now, that's one more than two so it's definitely four or maybe five - hang on, do thumbs count?

Trin... I think it would be better for yourself and for the site if you took some time out from ReddyFreddy's campaign for a brief sojourn into the Ozarks

Bagpuss, I keep wanting to put your title up on the page, but it's hard when I'm not sure which one you picked.

Whichever you prefer. I'm off to .

Hang on, if I'm going with the bad maths jokes, could I be Cartesian Coordinator, please?

Certainly, Bagpuss. I'm sure Jodan will be happy to change that for you. We aim to please, after all.

And thank you for thinking of a maths coordinator. It is most appropriate for a president named Hypatia to have a maths coordinator.

I didn't realise I was already up there.

I don't know why I hadn't looked up the original Hypatia before, but I just Googled her.

She was quite a lady. Not particularly good at ...erm...public relations however.

I am not as intelligent as the original Hypatia, but I am smart enough to stay out of the way of raging mobs.

I also suspect that my chicken soup is superior to hers.

It's done

I absolutely get that joke as well