h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Okay, are you ready to give your support to Hyp? I wouldn't ever mean to pressure you, of course...

C'mon.

Oh, it's tempting. I'll need to think about it before deciding, though.

How long?

Erm, when's polling day?

Some time in October.
I gotta fill the VVP chair before then though.

Oh heck, you're not putting a deadline on this offer are you? How am I supposed to waver when I'm under that sort of pressure?

Oh, no. Pressure ain't my thing.
I'm just saying that all the good bribes will be used up soon and I'd rather not have all my good titles tied up.

Here, have a yacht.

I wouldn't want that. And I'll admit that the oppostition seem to have stopped offering me incentives. But declaring allegiance at this stage would be a major departure from my usual practice.

*sets up deckchair on yacht deck*

I acknowledge your right to float.
It's so much nicer floating aboard your brand new yacht, isn't it?

I think you should try something new.

I am sailing,
I am sailing,
On my yacht,
Across the sea!

You know, I have a collection of rare German nutcrackers with your name on them if you declare your intention to support Hypatia soonish.

They're Ge-e-e-erman!!

Well, I do have some rare German nuts that need cracking...

Oh, go on then, I'll suppout Hyp. I don't think any of the other parties addressed the issue of hamster morale quite so well.

You won't regret it sir.
Do you want the title of Vice Vice President, or any other campaign title, by the way?



PS - you're our 31st supporter, which is the total number of votes that won for the last President Important, no?

This is our bunny.



Do you see his tears? Do you know why our bunny's so sad? What's that bunny?



Don't be sad little bunny. Maybe Bagpuss will have a change of heart.

(And possibly a change of yacht. A rather bigger yacht, perhaps).

The yacht I gave him barely fits through the Suez Canal. It's a big yacht.

Reminds me rather a lot of http://savetoby.com/ Extortionist.

( I wish you hadn't posted that I shan't sleep!)

Well, our party hereby offers Bagpuss a much *swifter* yacht, sleek and responsive to the dulcet winds of the Arabian Sea. You can get stuck in the Suez Canal if you wish.

We don't try to pick off your supporters. This is underhanded and duplicitous and... mean!

I don't understand why you'd want a small yacht. The point of the yacht is that it's a relaxing thing... and if it has an aquarium, all for more the better of.
If you want a swift thing, try this new ski-boat...

>>We don't try to pick off your supporters<<

With good reason I don't think we have any pledges at all yet I'm getting pretty desperate

*Has a sneaky peek to see if he's picked up any sympathy votes yet*

We'd be happy to take you guys onboard our big boat of support. Really a yacht.

The best titles are reserved for candidates who drop out of the race and endorse us. I don't offer those sort ot titles to the normal folks...