h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

love...

*pulls the curtins*

It's a knack.

Kettle is in the corner.

i thought i was a psychiatrist not a tea lady...
*makes tea anyway*
do you take milk and suger?

Thanks Clive. Anthea love, bit busy with Ralph and a rampaging Mango. Couldnt make Clive and I a quick cuppa, could you? Two sugars, anticlockwise - we are getting to the meat of the problem now.

Ralph........The mango is here ....it NEEDS you to love it....It is crying out for help.......Answer the Mango Ralph...close the circle..

I was trying to stop the doctor from feeling Ralph's mangos.

but since you're there two sugars and a dash of milk, please.

Under the Thingite charter I'm only allowed to tell you my name, rank, number, and why the chicken crossed the road.


Ralph the Wonder Llama
Supreme Commander of all Killer Llamas
174
To escape from the oppression of day!

Clive the flying ostrich
Warlord of Clan Thing
01
Because he was safety-pinned the punk.

I don't get it.

well the actual joke was.

why did the punk cross the road?
because he was safety-pinned to the chicken.

but the converse is also true.

Well, yes, it would be.

Well now we are all here, I think we have some rather deap seated issues that go beyond the odd rampaging Mango.
How is the Tea coming Anthea? Bless you!

Now, Hi. I am the Doctor and I am here to help. My theorum on Fruit based pyschological repression is on record, and I am a respected expert in Shapeshifting, assasins, People who think they are cats and I currently practice in two threads.
Now, would you all like to be in a happy place?

I think the solidarity shown my clan thing thus far has been commendable.

We are a strong band of brothers, sisters, animals, minerals and vegetables, professionals, extra-terestrial-life forms and other non-classifiable oddities.

No.

There's only one Fruit in this room.

Sorry, the 'no' referred to the post before yours, Clive.

I see. Oh, and Clive? Name calling does not help, thankyou.
I have looked at the denizens of this board and this is why I came by - you all seem such rich research material! I would like your help if you would as my Fruit theorum has been attacked lately as a bit soft in parts and hard in others. My latest theory has little to do with fruit...well, it has got some fruit in it but not much. Well, when I say not much, there is a fair bit....well rather a large bit actually but when you are healing people I dont think that matters.

ANTHEA sweetheart - Tea Love? We are all gasping here!

anyone?

I figured.

Besides we *are* in a happy place aren't we Ralph, Anthea?
Clan Thing is our home; our emotional and intellectual centre.
The Revolution is NOW where would you rather be? On the forefront of the battle-lines a new era or sat in some stuffy office day after day listening to other people's problems about imaginary fruits.

Why don't you come and join us O' Doctor.

We don't bite.

Not much, anyway.

Join you? Charmed I'm sure. You all seem jolly nice - barking mad, but jolly nice. What position in the (Ahem) "Clan" do you see me filling?
I do have access to a large assortment of medicines

Well we usually let new recuits select their own position wihtin our ranks (we are democratic like that )

So bearing in mind the spot of Thingite pyschiatrist is already filled, what role would you like to have?