h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

::To sign up to the thingites - just think of a title for yourself - leave your name and you will be added to the roster shortly.::

Blue-Eyed BiPedal BookWorm from Betelgeuse – Executive Director & Keyper of Kees to the Loo @ the “Life B4 Thingite-ism” Rehabilitation Center (where we help you shed all those old mundane worrisome insipid main-stream habits with a minimum of electro-shock therapy)


Okay, Clive, is that pompous Enough?!
I'll more than happily help treat any other Mundanes that come a-calling at this site.
So, where's my Regulation Titanium Spork? Or do I have to grind one from the raw materials myself? Never mind; I could get one of the new inmates to do it...

B4

*bleep, fatal memory overload* That's quite a mouthfull! Welcome to the Thingites, Clive or Amy will be along shortly to Gabble you in and give you the details (if you want them!)

Coit'nly! Thanks Ralph.

Hey, how's come there ain't no llama smileys here, either?

B4

A few things - you're welcome to join (and the spork is already carved and all, free of charge ), but we hesitate about giving out Keeper titles as there is already a society known as the Keepers.

What about "Holder" or some such other title?

Just a suggestion...

~Amy (temporary Warlady while Clive's out)

::juggles s, waiting for the decision::

Impressive.

Thanks ... I get to practice a lot when I'm waiting for new Thingites to give s to ...

How do you not get poked by the pointy ends?

Amy,

Good point about the "keyper" issue, as well as the safety concerns with the Sporks.
::
Blue-Eyed BiPedal BookWorm from Betelgeuse – Executive Director of the “Life B4 Thingite-ism” Rehabilitation Center (where we help you shed all those old mundane worrisome insipid main-stream habits with a minimum of electro-shock therapy), and Holder of the Keys to the Loo
::
How's that? Better?

Shea, toss me a Spork!
[bobbles it, trying not to get stuck in the hand]
Whew! Wow! MY very OWN Spork! I gotta write me Mum about this!!!

Might I zen prezhume zat zee Doktor is IN ? Our Klinik for zee Mundanes vill haf plenty uhf shpaze for all manner uhf aberratshunz, und vee vill shpare keine ekshpenz in liberating zem from zayr sotchiopathic blandness! [and begins to sing loudly] "Thingite, Thingite, Uber Alice..." [and clomps about the room in a mock march]

B4

Oooh, enthusiasm, just what I like to see.

Blue-Eyed BiPedal BookWorm from Betelgeuse – Executive Director of the “Life B4 Thingite-ism” Rehabilitation Center (where we help you shed all those old mundane worrisome insipid main-stream habits with a minimum of electro-shock therapy), and Holder of the Keys to the Loo - hereby proclaimèd!

Hop on over to no no no and uniforms (links on manifesto page) - that's where we all hang out.

~Amy (Warlady-type thingie till Clive gets his pooter fixed)

Amy,

Zee Doktor vishus to remindt You zat any prozpektif Payshundt vill be treated viss striktest confidenz. Zay vill be kured uhf of all zayr dullness und mediokrity; zay vill begin to entjoy zemselves und gain a besser apprechiashun for zee meaning of liff! Churely You know, vee haff Vays of making zem laugh.....

Pleets egskuse me now vile I shlip into somezing more compfortable...
[turns and begins to remove the pink tu-tu, looks up startled]
Eg-SKUSE Me! I MUST brepare for zee anschluss of humanity zat vill come shtreaming sroo our doors at any sekondt.
[drops the tu-tu and the feathered Ball mask into a drawer of his UltraMahogany desk]
I vill go zee Amory and berhaps check for Wardrope abropriate for ziss okayzhun. Equipped viss my Regulation Titanium Spork, I chould haff agzess to all areas of zee Thingite soziety.

Sank You, Fraulein! [bows stiffly, yet respectfully]
B4

BE! You're going to head into the armoury without your pink tu-tu?! I like this man!

:: to the armoury::

On my way...

B4

And now for something completely different: The is already on the idea list, it should be drawn any millennium now!

I'm not really here right now.


*This message is just a figment of your fevered imagination.*

*feels forehead*

*reaches for the asperin*

The Doktor is IN!

[begins tying a tournequet around Clive's neck]

Now just hold still for a few moments and you won't feel a thing...

B4

Hey hey hey, only I'm allowed to torture the warlord.

Yeah ... the rest of us are only allowed to him and dye his tail feathers mauve ...