h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Luckily, I didn't spill any .... is there such a thing as a "smallish" 747?

A "smallish" 747 is called a 737, silly.

... unfortunately for ER, his poisoned was *not* spilled in the horrific crash, so upon drinking it, his throat was immediately eaten through with phosphoric acid. He leaked profusely all over the floor, making a nasty mess as well as upsetting his fellow pub patrons with the foul odor.

Ahhhh, I love some good phosphoric acid - cleans you out and lets the air in.

My baby's in love with an elevator?

... unfortunately, as ER enjoyed the fresh air from the gaping hole in the roof of the pub that resulted from the airline crash, he failed to notice that the entire cargo of rare Nubian flesh-eating-cannibalistic cockroaches who were slated to star in an upcoming and rather dusgusting horror movie were converging on him. Before he was able to react, the cockroaches had already munched their way up to his knees. ERs screams continued to ring in the ears of the terrified onlookers well after his bleached Aussie bones had been picked clean by the hungry insects. Afterward, the crowd cheered wildly at his ability to be eaten alive whilst spilling not a single drop of his pale .

ER

I can sit here as a skeleton and drink . No problem!

Ah, but there's the rub, ER ... you'll of necessity spill it now, that is, if you're able to find a muscle to tip it to your "lips".

Sorry, ER ... but you're going to have to sit there and do nothing, very slowly.

Well, if you're going to get all technical about it.............

::expertly rebuilds himself and continues his -a-thon::

"expertly rebuilds himself" ... with what?! You're stripped down to a nub, mister!! You don't even have a brain in that well-crafted-yet-apelike skull of yours.

The Almighty Bob helped me do it - Bob be praised!! His ways are mysterious and incomprehesible. We cannot, therefore, expect to understand him, so just accept that it was done, as Bob wanted it done, and ask not the questions of logic and reason which we choose to ignore because we regard them as irrelevant.

... may Almighty Bob reveal himself to you, ER ... soon, and in a way in which your puny little mind cannot deny. So shall it be.

You've mocked him, so you've certainly asked for it!

I do hope that Bob does not reveal himself to me, it would be terribly embarrassing! He has, however, appeared before me on a number of occasions - mostly in the guise of a large whiskey drinking pink elephant sitting on the barstool beside me. In those instances the Wrath of Bob is very....... wrathful indeed. Peanuts fired out the trunk of an elephant can be deadly!

Nah ... that was merely a hallucination brought on by alcohol poisoning and heavy abuse of various substances of questionable origin. Doubtless, that elephant was your friend shooting spit-wads at you through a straw to get your excessively limited attention span. Can't say that I blame him.

No, when you run into A. Bob and his son, Verily Verily, you'll know it ...




*shoots elephant-spit wads at ER*

Come to think of it..... I've forgotten what I was going to say. My attention span is not.........

, anyone?

Goodnight, ER. Thank goodness for our short atten ... oh, whatever I was going to say.

Goodnight AW. Sleep well.

It's morning here.

*chuckles at ER's "Bob revealing himself" gag.

Is that all you lot think about, these days?
Besides, any left for me?

Yes.

Wanna make something of it?






Hmmm. I'm slipping. I only killed ER three times last night.