h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*GL scrapes some of the ice off of the thing he hit, and sees a countdown meter reading 99.*

Oh oh.

[FD Link] Wha-oh?

*Affy sees the slow countdown meter count down to 98. He ponders what the force of such an explosion would be. He then examines the ultra fragile fuse that makes the Neutrino Burst Injector work. By the tick of 97 he deduces that by merely exiting moments before the explosion, that the bomb will do the job for him. Still, not one to break tradition, Affy clambers onto the top of the NBI, and begins bouncing. 96*

[Link, Janine, and Mog wonder how this is going to turn out]

* the penguin shrugs, sits down and pulls out a bag of herring as the timer flicks to 94 *

*sea notices affy's examination of the NBI's fuse and realizes his intentions*

[sea] drat! evillene, you idiot!

[evillene] okay, okay, i'll fix it.

*evillene goes to work on the back of the "bomb", trying to make it so it will only destroy living things. sea takes up guard over the fuse*

[evillene] this might take a while...

*the counter reaches 93*

* the penguin juggles some fireballs *

Hey guys! If we can disarm this whole OmegaMatic thing in nintey, um, *looks at counter* one posts, then this extra explosion won't hurt anything. Whadda we got left? After we destroy that fuse *grins and waves at sea*, then we can get access to the main elevator. Then we have, um, *fumbles with plans* um, *fumbles some more*, um, Affy? What DO we have left after this?

*GL finally finds the page he was looking for.*

Ah, here it is. Let's see ... Before we get to the QED, we have to get through:
the Primary Elevator Shaft,
the Outer Defense System Control Room,
the Gravitational Dumping Hub,
and the Galley.

Hmmmm. Might be a bit much to do in ninety-one, er, I should say, ninety posts. Guess we'll have to deal with the nuclear device. Maybe we can bring it with us, once that fuse breaks.

*GL hops on his pogo stick and bounces up to the top of the Neutrino Thingy, where Affy is also bouncing. Below, is the fuse, with sea guarding it.*

Hey Affy, perhaps if we alternate bouncing, it will confuse sea. I'll go first.

*GL bounces off the top of the Neutrino Thingy and lands on the fuse. sea whirls to face him, but his rebound takes him back to the top of the Neutrino Thingy.*

Okay, your turn, go Affy!

*GL wonders how many bounces it will take to break the fuse.*

[Mog] Say, this reminds me of a scene in Super Mario RPG, when they're getting the first Star Piece, and the Shysters and Mack are bouncing around, and ...

[Janine hits him and he shuts up]

Well, every previous fuse has shattered with just one bounce, so....

*Affy bounds downwards*

....according to continuity, this thing should already be OOMPH!!!

*The fuse snaps just before Affy hits it*

Ow! Man, I hate ironic timing!

*Affy looks up and sees Sea. He prepares for a lightning bolt, or a fire ball, or something*

*and affy is not disappointed, as a rather large fire demon is hurled into his stomach at rib-breaking velocity. it then latches onto his head*

*sea fumes. evillene manages to rig the nuke to destroy quite a bit of the surrounding area and quite possibly create either a black hole or a tear in the space-time continuum*

[evillene] better?

[sea] maybe if you weren't off in RL-land all the time, it would've been harder for them to beat us.

[evillene] me?! YOU'RE the one who was out gallavanting with drunk 30-year-old men until 4 o'clock this morning!

*sea blushes*

[Link] [pointing at Sea and Evillene; bad Nelson impersonation] Haw-haw!

*GL bounces down from the top of the Thingy, hops off his pogo stick and puts it away. He blasts the Nuclear Device again, to ensure it stays frozen, then tucks it under his arm.* Okay, we're done here. On to the next level. *GL exits to the primary elevator shaft: http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F62404?thread=114696&post=1041384#p1041384 The counter reads 86.*

Demon Strike!

*Affy uses one of his few Bard's Tale spells to send a freezing burst of energy at the fire demon. He doesn't wait to see if the demon's dead, or even injured, he just jumps to his feet and lurches away, swearing to heal himself in the elevator*

*The monitor snaps on* Sea! Evillenne! Report to http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F62404?thread=119310 for the final battle with the heroes! If you don't, I can't ensure your rapid transport out of the Galaxy when the countdown timer reads "5 Seconds". *The monitor snaps off*

*The monitor snaps on* Sea! Evillenne! Report to http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F62404?thread=119310 for the final battle with the heroes! If you don't, I can't ensure your rapid transport out of the Galaxy when the countdown timer reads "5 Seconds". *The monitor snaps off*

*sea and evillene look around at the carnage. sea looks a little sad, and exits. evillene rolls her eyes, shrugs, and follows*