h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*swallows the rest of his and , dives down to the rear of the APC, fastens a hawser, swims back to the shore and pulls the APC up with a little help from the fisherman and the haul up-device he usually uses for his boat*

Thank you, my friend. Glad to see you are okay again. Sorry about your hut an all. Here's a little gold to get a new one built. Better make that a stone house this time. You never know when Gwennie may be in your knick of the woods again

*shazz quietly extracts the extra-long hunting knife from a hitherto unnoticed pouch behind her cossie*

Right... Mari-rae, Gwennie... we are leaving! I think I heard the APC start up and I think Wowbagger may be correct about these Mermen... especially after seeing that bite on your neck Mari!
I hope you're up to date with your tetanus jabs!!!

*Dives back into the water and tries to remember the way they came.*

shazz

*Opens the rear doors of the APC and gets thoroughly soaked as all the water empties out*

Gwennie! Are you with us?

*Dives in the water after Shazz. The mermen who, let's face it, are much better swimmers than humans, follow. They are trying to capture us. The three BFG friends end up cornered with their backs pressed together, treading water and barely keeping their noses above the water. They are fending off the mermen by passing Shazz's knife between them. *

DON'T DROP THE KNIFE...

*Seeing the problem, a dripping Kes grabs a couple of stun grenades*
Hey Ladies! Heads above water! Shockwaves should fix the mermen!
*Throws the grenades into the sea, one a few yards either side of the ladies*

*holds tiny umbrella above head Wile E. Coyote style in anticipation.*

I think there's going to be a bit of a wave appear when those things--

K K A BBB OOOO OOOO MM MM !!
K K A A B B O O O O M M M M !!
KK A A ------ BBBB O O O O M M M !!
K K AAAAAAA B B O O O O M M
K K A A BBBB OOOO OOOO M M !!

-- explode.

*watches the ladies surf in on the approaching tsunami.*

How much of a charge was in those things Kes?

That's not a tsunami, Wowbagger, that's Gwennies bot... Oh, hi there girls. You are just in time for another meal. Why don't you take off your wet clothes and hang them to dry near the fire while we eat?

After that the clothes as well as the APC should be dry enough for another ride

*strips off rubber gear and hangs it a little too near the fire*

I don't think the smell of melting rubber does much to enhance your cooking Pierce... I'll move them away a little!

I think us ladies better stay a bit closer to the APC in the future... there were a few nasty moments I'd rather forget, although the surf in on the wave was kinda fun!

How's the APC looking btw Kes? Is it going to be ok for our next adventure, wherever that may be?

shazz

Some of the computer systems didn't like the water ... You lot dry your clothes and dish up lunch ... I'll check out the systems inside the APC ...
*Kes ducks inside the APC, liberally applying WD40, kicks, slaps, and other delicate technical adjustments to the innards of the machine.*
Looking good here ... but we will need some fuel before long! Any ideas?

How about Pierce's cooking (perhaps it could double up as fuel)?

*Wrapped in a big fluffy towel, hangs her wet suit up next to Shazz's gently smouldering one to dry out and kicks Pierce on the shins for saying that her back-side resembles a tsunami*

Thanks for the rescue chaps! The next time I feel like surfing, remind me to take a few depth charges with me!

You know, I bet this seaweed would make excellent fuel...

*Picks up a large lump of dried seaweed and throws it at Pierce*

How is that bite on your neck Mari (I hope it doesn't get an infection and you don't start to turn into a or something).

*Wrapped in her own trusty towel, she touches her neck... *

I dunno. It stings a little. How does it look?

*Picks up a piece of the seaweed and chews on it without thinking about it.*

Hey Kes, don't bang on that navi computer like that. sheesh. Try rebooting it. Pierce, whatever you're cooking smells heavenly, but I think I'd like to eat some ; sushi sounds great right now.

Hey, btw guys... thank you all for rescuing us.

*Daydreams a little about her merman... ~sigh~ ... scratches her neck again.*

*Turns to her fellow BFGs and shrugs her shoulders as Mari continues munching on a piece of seaweed whilst looking decidedly "out of it"*

Does anyone notice anything odd about Mari? Perhaps she has her towel on upside-down or something...

She seems to have a very 'far-away-look' about her yes! I think that we better keep a close on her!

*Tucks into food*

At least we ALL have something to eat now!

shazz

*Notices an itching sensation on her toes. Looks and sees that skin is growing between; webbing them. She digs them into the sand, hoping no one has noticed. Worridly picks up a pile of clams, mussels, and oysters and starts opening the shells with her fingers and gobbling the meats.*

Shazz! Gwennie! Look, I found pearls inside these. Would you like to have them?

*puts a in his ear in order to understand the strange sounds that are coming from mari-raes mouth*

Uh oh. This doesn't sound good, pardon the pun

*rolls up a large top-of-the-line Weber thermonuclear barbeque grill*

Sorry to have been away so much, Soldiers.......how about wefire this baby up and eat with style?!

Excellent idea Kuma...

This trip is really coming together: beer fridge, bbq and we even washed the car

*Re-boots the nav. computer by kicking it with his other boot ....*
There! It's working now ... How do I get the stupid animated paperclip to go away?

*Gwennie's eyes light up as she inspects Mari's pearl but wonders why Mari has buried her feet in the sand and why she's now having difficulty speaking*

Ohh a pearl (Thanks Mari!) and a Kuma post in one go!

*Inspects Mari's bite on her neck and finds what seems to resemble gills growing under her skin which is also taking on a slightly scaly appearance*