h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

... and I always thought that 'Great White' referred to a shark...

not Wowbagger's bottom!

shazz

Only one way to find out, Gwennie *pushes Gwennie head first into the waves*

Yes Gwennie, Australian waters are filled with various poisonous, stingy bitey things. We jump into the water to get away from the various bitey, stingy things that live on land. Makes for a nice change.

And yes shazz, my bottom is white, though not great, if you must be so *ahem* crude.

*flashes it briefly as he dives back down for equipment*

Sorry Wowbagger

*Dips one toe in... then the other... changes mind and decides to go and help prepare a bonfire from the remains of the wrecked cottage*

How do you all like your fish cooked?
Grilled? Barbequed? Cremated?

shazz

Barbequed in lots of lovely herbs and lemon juice and wrapped in alfoil, with a truckload of garlic prawns and fresh mudcrab and a bottle or 6 of a nice chardonnay.
Yum! he he he

Hmmm... I'll do my best

I do believe I see a lemon tree just over that dune... if we're really lucky there may be herbs growing there as well

Do you want to come with me Gwennie and Mar-rae?

shazz

Ooooh, Wowbagger! You seem to be a true connoisseur of "le fruit de mere" (or however the frogs spell that )! It's a wonder your buns are so smal... never mind!

*finds a bag of imported italian durum wheat and some eggs and starts to make some pasta*

*Swims to shore, paying out a rope as he goes.*
The bar fridge is attached to the other end of this rope. How about we have a tug-of-war?

*shazz looks back... see's Kes with the barfridge in tow and waves enthusiatically*

Excellent!!! You are a hero Kes!

*Disappears over the distant sand dune...*

shazz

*Extracts a wad of seaweed from her sodden hair and throws it at Pierce*

I suppose you think that was amusing young man!

*Suddenly adopts a glazed (more than usual) expression and starts to dance manically on the shore*



Help!

*Tugs her trousers down and starts to grapple with a very lively seasnake that had made itself a home therein*

Pierce! I will have my revenge!

*Throws the snake at Pierce and makes to pursue the but forgets her trousers are still round her ankles and falls flat on her face*

Oomph!!

*Still sticky with spilled margaritas and attracting various stinging insects because of it, she follows Shazz over the dune and shucks her clothes, diving into the surf. She is very happy that her fellow BFGs seem to have the situation under control, leaving her a space of time to frolic in the waves. This, being Deimos and NOT Australia, she is unconcerned about various creatures that may do her harm.*



Shazz! C'mon in, the water is fine!!!

*places last of the guns, ammo and equipment onto a safe place on the shore*

I think that's about it for the equipment we can get from the APC.
Back to the swim!
Hurrah!

*Jumps back in with mari-rae and the gang*

Gosh Gwennie, Is that a python in your--

*Gets a glare from Gwennie and doesn't dare go on with the obivous joke that could be made of the situation.*

Kes dries out the equipment, using an aerosol of WD40 (available even on Deimos), and his T-shirt. The guns seem to be OK, but a small portable recorder just won't work. He knocks back a beer, and goes for a swim with the others.

*Removes a small pile of sand from her mouth as she splutters something about all men being the same to Wowbagger before grabbing a nice cold beer to rinse any remaining sand away with*

That water looks wonderful and makes me wish that I had my snorkel and fins with me...

Still, if one can obtain WD40, even of Deimos then one should be able to find a dive shop somewhere.

*Wanders off along the beach, in search of a dive shop, beer still in hand*

Oh Gwennie, I wasn't being THAT nasty.

Sitting in the ocean, drinking beer. I haven't done this for... oooh... months! (Couldn't do it at home atm - too cold! )

*Shazz re-appears from behind the distant dune, carrying armfuls of lemons and lots of bizarre-looking plants*

I had no trouble with the lemons... but I am really not sure if these are herbs or not! Has anyone got a good sense of smell or taste?

*Spots that the entire BFG brigade are gambolling in the surf, apart from Gwennie who is weaving her way precariously along the beach. Drops lemons and 'interesting' plants and heads for the water, shedding clothes as she goes*

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

shazz

*Carries on weaving her way along the beach until her companions are out of sight and her can of beer is empty*

Hmmm! Should I return for another beer or carry on in the hope that I find not only a dive shop but an alternative source of refreshment?

*Absently scratches at yet another itch down her trouser leg and opts to carry on just as she spies a beach hut in the distance*

Well, that just about makes my mind up for me!

*Heads toward the hut which she realises is a beach bar and dive shop combined as she draws closer*

This must be my lucky day! Now all I need is a nice young of an assistant and a method of payment. I wonder if he takes Galactic Express or Servant cards?

*Rummages in her pockets for her purse and extracts yet another sea snake*

*takes a closer look at the lemons and plants and discovers that they will all do nicely. Prepares a fire on the beach and starts to cook whatever fish and shellfish has been saved out of the fishermans cellar*

Er, has anyone pulled out that barfridge? If not, I think you should do it now as it is only a matter of minutes before the food is ready

*briefly wonders why Gwennie left her trousers behind*

Perhaps if you give us a hand ... i knew we should have jettisoned all those cases of Fosters rather than leave it in the bottom of the fridge

Never mind ... there's some decent stuff in here as well ...
*Passes out a couple of cans* Cheers!