h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Wanders back toward the other BFGs, dragging a huge sack behind her from which a lot of clanking can be heard and swigging from a can of beer*

Yoohoo! Look what I found!

*Proudly empties the contents of her sack on the sand to reveal a selection of snorkels, fins and a large selection of beer*

I thought a top-up for the bar fridge might be in order. Let's put them in before they get warm. Oh and there's a selection of masks, snorkels and fins if anyone wants to use them. I had to guess at your shoe sizes though.

*Dons flippers, mask & snorkel. Then pours can of beer down snorkel*
This one's my size, thanks!

*finishes his meal and goes to lie on the beach for a nap*

My mother always told me to wait an hour after eating before bathing

snorkels!?! Beer!?! YAY!!!
*Grabs both*
Thank you Gwennie!

Now I'm sure there's a drinking game that uses these two objects. If not I'm sure one could be made up LOL!

*Emerges from the sea to find that has eaten all the food and is now lying like a beached whale snoring*

Hmmm... I think some revenge is called for here people!

Wowbagger... can you give me a hand putting into all this rubber gear Gwennie so thoughtfully found for us...

shazz

sure thing!
*aids shazz*

*Fits a pair of flippers on P's hands*
That'll slow him down when he tries to take the gear off!

*Fits a snorkel around 's ankles*

... and that will stop him trying to escape...

shazz

*Gazes upon the trussed up with a mischievous glint in her eyes and casually ponders upon the snorkel and can of beer in her hands*

Has anyone ever read anything about the benefits of colonic irrigation?

*In deference to flying moderators however, Gwennie decides to opt for putting a couple of hermit crabs up the 's trouser legs and leaves them to their own devices*

Well, as "someone" has scoffed all the grub and as I have an (almost) empty tummy, I feel the urge to indulge myself with a snorkel!

*Dons her gear and waddles backwards into the sea, tripping over the occasional rock, before finally disappearing under the waves*

*After devouring the delicious meal Pierce made, she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. Swigs the last of her beer. Looks out over the surf and beach...*

I could stay here forever, guys. This is great!

Without transport, your wish may come true! Be careful what you wish for! ...but for now, I'll settle for another beer ...

*Meantime, Gwennie, who is playing around on the ocean floor, finds an underwater cave and can't resist exploring it. She surfaces in the cave and finds a group of nice young Demosian mermen*

Ohh! I say! (In her best Terry Thomas voice) Watch out chaps! The Gwennie has landed! Do you gentlemen have any alcoholic beverages?

*One of the young mermen beckons and waves a bottle of something resembling vodka to Gwennie who ungraciously but enthusiastically climbs from the water, feeling like she's just about to have fun*

What a shame that Shazz and Mari can't be here!

*wakes up to the discover that he has got the crabs up his trousers - and there seems to be nothing he can do about it...

...then sees mari-rae lieing nearby and moves up to her in a seal-like manner, sounding like a sea lion, trying to persuade her to release him from all the rubber gear*

he he he he
looks funny.
*looks at *
Sheesh! What is IN this stuff?

*Having seen doing his wonderful seal impression, shazz takes pity on him and releases him from his rubbery prison*

Righto... now we are all feeling energetic again... apart from Wowbagger who is looking a little , why don't we all don the snorkelling stuff the correct way round and try to find Gwennie.

Something tells me she is having too much fun for her own good!

shazz

Thanks dear, , you are the best - as always!

Is it okay if I stay on the beach for a little while? I could do with a and a after that latex-experience . I'll take care of Wowbagger till he is okay again. Then we will follow you.

Say hi to Gwennie from us - I am sure she misses us...

*waves goodbye to Shazz and the other girls and turns to Wowbagger*

What say you, my friend? Are you ready to take the cure? *Hands Wowbagger a "biére complet" ( and )

i better have one as well...just in case i ever get sick in the future.

Prevention is the best form of medicine after all

Well... the best hangover cure has always been never to sober up.
*downs & *

Aaaacthpst! That's better. Thanks !

Shazz, I would've weweased wodewct.. I mean Piewce! haha!


*Follows Shazz into the water...*

*Swims around quietly, exercising, getting the T-shirt clean(er), and looking at the APC, debating the chances of salvaging it .....*