h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

here is all the ticket you need, honey :: hands gewnnie a kalashnikov ak-47 ::

thanks for the tiramisu, mari-rae

wanna dance?

Swwwwweeeeeeeetttttt!!! Bic's kick buns... thanks, mari!

::goes back to fondling his Duke Nukem chicas::

*walks to the book store with the five Tammies in tow*

You bet, I wanna dance! Thanks Pierce! Where should we go?

I'm back...What did I miss?

AK goooooooood!

Tammies, mostly. A few flying bills, a frying Bill, a crashed window, and an admonitory eggplany.

We are shopping in Mall of the Universe. I got you a hat.

*Shoves baseball cap onto Vid's head with Mall of the Universe embroidered on the front.*

*Swivels Vid's cap on his head so it is back-to-front, making him look stupidly "cool"*

Thanks Pierce!

*Fondles her AK47 as she dreams of the players changing rooms*

Drooling is thirsty work and I need to replenish some body fluids! Did we bring the bar fridge or are we raiding a local bar for refreshments chaps?

*George and the Tammies climb into the float-a-car*

Anyone want a lift to the food court?

bloody fluids, MsG? don't talk to me about bloody fluids

:: hands msG a couple of ::

*Steps over the couple of but accepts her from Pierce*

Thanks for the offer of a lift George, but the walk will do me good as I can do with some exercise (and target practice).

*Shoulders her AK47 and heads for the nearest branch of Marks & Spencer's in search of some Tribble-sized bras*

Pierce, since when have I been known as MSG (monosodium glutamate)?

Well, MSG is also bad for one's health...



*Opens barfridge. Makes a . Sips. Waits. Watches Tammies escorting George. Notices the little one in the back is picking George's pocket. Thinks about telling George about it....*













Still thinking!

i could not have worded that any better, mari-rae

hands mari-rae and gwennie (his gluta-mate ) a bloody mary each

and opens fire on the pickpocket

::hearing gunfire, Thog glances up from fondling his Duke Nukem bimbos and decides to join in.::

THRACKACKACKACKACKACKACKACAAAAAA!! THRACKA... THRACKA... THRACKACKACKACKACKACKAAAAAA!!!!!



FWOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!

Oops! Sorry George! Didn't mean to fry your hair like that... ahem...

*Drinks from the bottle of single malt ... Watches both Georges and the ten Tammis scatter out the way of the gunfire*
Hic!

*Sips her and takes aim at another Tammi's feet.*

On your toes, lady! Let's see how you dance!

*BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM

*Looks up and finds herself all alone in the Mall of the Universe. Wonders where everyone has got to? Decides to amuse herself by buying out every other store along the main corridor. She soon has a long train of shopping carts following her filled and overflowing with lots of useless junk that nobody would ever really want.*

hey, what a nice you bought there, mari-rae

can i have it? can i? can i?

*Several days later, Gwennie emerges from a extra-terrestrial branch of M&S with stash of tribble-sized bras and wonders who the train of shopping trolleys belong to*

Hello? Chaps?

*Fingers her AK37 nervously and glances over her shoulder*