h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

They'll leave those flavours alone. It's the Fleas and Bunion ones they like.

(laughing out loud at the image of hedgehogs being tweezered in tongs)



~jwf~

I could turn on the turkey fryer. Anyone else fancy deep-fried hedgehog?

Hello all. I was going to offer to get a hedgehog cushion for the SnugHound, but I'm concerned that you'd deep fry it by mistake.

What kind of grease do you have in that turkey fryer? It smells like rancid elk fat.

Munchkin, I'll take a G&T and a package of those vole and parmesan crisps.

Aha! A connoisseur! *holds up expensive looking jar with a label reading "Inkukiuk Virgin Elk Fat"* I'm really impressed. Most people can't tell elk fat from caribou or wolverine.

I seem to have frightened them. The hedgehogs, I mean.

*takes jar of elk fat from Lil and looks at the expiration date*

August 27, 1987. Hummmmmmm. Should still be okay.

*hands jar back to Lil*

*wakes up from a deep sleep, stretches and yawns*

Did I hear someone mention deep fried Hedgehog?

You certainly did Caerwynn,there'll be no fried hedgehog around here until I finish making these blindfolds.Kes,hold that little hedgehog there as still as you can,it needs it's fitting for this blindfold.Would a pair of gloves help ?

I don't think so, Pinky. How would you manage to tie the knot in the blinfold if you were wearing gloves?

We blindfold them before we fry them? Why, that's so... humane.

*At this, the tong-restrained hedgehog launches a wriggling, squealing bid for freedom, leaping to earth via barstool and Kes's knee, and then joining his companions huddling beneath the armchair*

We were only going to shampoo them! Ah well ... just chips for lunch then ...

Mmmmm Chips.....

Chips ? Yes please,with mayonnaise,thankyou.Now where did those hedgehogs go ?

*resignedly feeds the cold, sooty chips to the snughound and starts another batch*

*Offers the Snughound an antacid tablet*

*Pinky looks around,slowly* Spring cleaning time is almost here again ! *She smiles* I can't wait.

*Looks apprehensive, but expresses no opinion*

All the hedgehogs seem to have escaped. Pinky, I think we ought to know beforehand what constitutes spring cleaning, before you start.

Most of them are huddled under the big armchair, so you could leave that out of the cleaning roster if you like - regard it as an independent nation state within The Snug ... a hiber nation, even ...