h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*reaches out and smakes someone in confusion. Nervous reaction, you see*

[sea] OWWW! YOU TWIT!

*sea kicks UH in the shin, leaving a nasty bruise*

["To have blown" and "to have split" were the split infinitives I meant]

AHERM HERM HERM!! A-COUGH COUGH!! HACK! HACK!! CAARRGGHH!! COUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGH!! *Falls over and gibbers in the throes of an full-blown asthma attack while everyone watches, laughing and prodding the poor beardy continuity guy. Eventually he gets up.* A-hurm hurm. Actually, neither of those aresplit infinitives, either. Hu-HURM-HURM. Cough, cough. A split infinitive is... AHHURRM!! Hack hack!! is where the INFINITIVE...is SPLIT. For instance, TO /boldly/ GO...etc. is one, because the INFINITIVE "TO GO" has been SPLIT by having had the adverb placed in between the TO and the GO. AHHAARRMM!! "To have split" is merely the past tense of to split, ditto for "To have blown". ACCAARRGGHH!!! ACCOUGH!! AAAARRGGHHHHH-PTUICOUGHCOUGHCOUGH!!!

Which is lucky! Fortunately, THOSE are also NOT split infinitives. I almost made a fool out of *myself* there. Phew!

*evillene kicks giguschild in the shin, then runs away*

*Affy, meanwhile, has been absent from the forum for almost a week now. And why, you may ask? Because he found a garage, that's why. Over the past six days, he has been remodelling a machine he found here in Atross, and he will soon be releasing it as his aide in combatting evil. Just as a note, no heroes or villains (with the possible exception of GL) may interrupt this process by entering the garage, the location of which is undisclosed*

*Sea runs straight into a vengeful UH, who gives her a really vicious noogie.*

(The moment you've all been waiting for, kids... thanks for your patience)

<*ahem*.... Meanwhile... in an unknown location beneath the city>


Elorex: The EG's are our main priority... they owe us... they owe us big time... and HP WILL pay... We end their monopoly on evil deeds and machines and let chaos run crime... this, in effect, will make the hero's jobs a lot harder, killing two birds with one stone, or at least badly mangling one while the other flies away in abject fear

Shadowed Figure: I see

Mezmero: *sits forward* We don't want to be bosses. We don't want to have any bosses. We want an end to over organized crime. We want to make Atross City to live up to its name, to be a slum that we can ALL be proud of...

Shadowed Figure: Admirable

No 3. : *sits forward* Sssucccesss isss our aim. We want it at all cossstss. We need to topple the EGss... and destroy HPss image. Hisss public facce is too clean. Sssome ssslander would do it good... However, we cannot do thisss without your help...

Shadowed Figure: I don't think you need worry about that. I'll be on it straight away...

[Key the Boss Music from FF3 (for SNES). Cut to a generic city location, with icons of YK, Mackenzie, Link, and Nerfal on the right-hand side of the screen, and oversized images of each of the six clones on the left. There's a menu taking up the bottom 1/4 of the screen. On the left of that is a list of what you can do, and on the right is a list of characters and their HP. YK's name is yellow and a silver, upside-down triangle is hovering over his icon's head. The menu on the left has a choice between Fight, Lightsaber, and Item. A gloved, pointing, disembodied hand selects Lightsaber, and another one appears next to Y2K, and selects him. The gloved hands disappear, and the arrow jumps to Mackenzie. The menu says Fight, Magic, and Item. Another hand selects Magic, and from a lengthy list chooses Triangle, and another hand chooses Y2K again. Link (from Fight, Sword, Magic, and Item) chooses Sword and from a list picks Whirling Blade, which can select all the enemies. Nerfal (fron Fight and Item) chooses Fight. Periodically, the images of the clones have been twitching, followed by a short animation of one of the Good Guys getting hit by something. Now, the YK icon attacks Y2K's image with a lightsaber, the Mackenzie icon fires beams of fire, ice, and lightning at Y2K's image, Nerfal's icon whacks it with a sword, and Link spins his sword around, hitting all of them. And more of the same. Don't nobody interrupt this!]

[sea] UH you messed up my hair!!!!!!

*sea tackles UH, or rather ATTEMPTS to tackle him, as she is a 120 pound woman and he seems to be QUITE a bit heavier than she. sea succeeds in bouncing off his ample stomach and falling onto the floor*

[sea] oh, man. so NOT let me do that again...

*evillene laughs so hard she falls to the ground, then continues to laugh as tears pour from her eyes*

[What was that about continuity? Is this stomach thing a breach? Watch your ground yound wo...la... person]

*Steals Sea's handbag and tips it out onto the floor. Laughs.*

[And more of the same]

*Affy examines his machine. It is almost done. He's figured out how to emblazon its name on the front of it, and how to attach all of the weapons which he has been known to use and even a few well chosen antennaes which he is using to cast spells (powered by Illumynite). Now, all he has to do is hook everything up. And just a reminder, no one interupt this process, please*

breach? what breach? i did nothing but cause myself to bruise my backside. no harm came to you!

*sea stands up, rubbing her backside*

[sea] owwwwch....

Actually, what I say goes about my character. And I am not fat. Therefore you break continuity, I sue.

[I can do this, because IRL I'm the same as YK]

[Y2K] Argh! You have gotted me!

[He and the rest of the clones slowly fade out with a red tint. Key victory music]

UH, I really don't think sea broke continuity here. Calling insults is a standard process in these kinds of battles, and there must be *some* injury implied or it stops being fun.

[Text boxes that appear: "Gained 273 exp!" "Level up for YK!" "Level up for Mackenzie!" "Earned 165 GP." Cut back to the normal Atross bit]

[YK] Okay, now what?

[The clones flee]