h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I will not fail. I will not fail. I will not fail. *MarySue breaths calmly in and then out again before reiterating what has now become a full scale mantra.* I will not fail. I will not - *Briefely the thought of what HP will do to her if she loses Insane Endeavour enters MarySue's mind.*
I will not fail. I will not fail *The words become more frantic as MarySue tries to pull herself together.*

*Experience had taught her to lie low and follow in situations like this, and delicacy would be a useful tool here. To bide the time, MarySue reapplies her lipstick in the rear view mirror of her new - obviously stolen - hot red porshe, before returning her concentration to the bus ahead of her.*
Don't think you're going to get away this easily Miss Endeavour. You've underestimated how much I need this new job...

*MarySue laughs manically until the fumes from her cigarette begin to overwhelm her and she launches into a coughing fit...*

*confused, flustered and having to make a decision very quickly*
Do I actually get a choice?

¦M¦

*IE ponders that.*
Well, strictly speaking yes, we don't have to go anywhere if we don't want to. But, it would be better than just stopping on a road forever.
*She looks out to where Zack is walking towards the bus, gun hidden. His gaze is taken in the direction of a bright red parked sports car not far away down the road. He subtly points as he steps up onto the bus.*

Um, well, though I hate to say it, I think we have very little choice now. We're being spied on! Our only chance is to loose them. *She looks at her watch.* It's Atross City rush hour. They'll have a hard time following us through that.
*Ming looks petrified.*

Look. I'll drive, I know these roads like the back of my hand! *Refrains from using typical 'Argh, what's that?' line, feeling this is not the time to make her companion panic.*

*Endeavour lets Ming come past and takes the wheel, taking back her gun and indicating for both Zack and Ming to sit down. Zack sits near the back, his eyes focused on the red Porsche, Ming near the middle; her eyes suspiciously darting from one stranger to the other. Insane engages first gear and the bus pulls away.*

>

*is now wondering whether jumping out of a bus is an entirely good idea*
*owing to the sudden swerves the bus is making, this isn't going to be easy, but she feels some sort of escape plan is a good idea*
*spots an already broken window opposite where she's attempting to stay sitting and decides that's a good way out*
*she now turns her somewhat terrified and distracted attention to the people who are in the bus with her...*

¦M¦

*MarySue drops her cigarette on to her lap and all of a sudden the bus kicks off and moves at a frightening speed towards Atross City.*Oh no, my new Gucci skirt! That's it, Insane Endeavour, this is personal. *Slamming the hand brake down, MarySue jumps into gear and into hot pursuit of the bus.

Ah, I see your plan. *MarySue mutters to herself as she swerves into yet another innocent pedestrian.* Lurer me into the Atross City rush hour. Very clever. But what you failed to include in your calculations Miss Endeavour is that being evil means I am subject to roadkill. *Another pedestrian goes down.* And that nothing stands in my way when someone ruins my vastly overpriced Gucci outfit. *Another pedestrian and this time a dog too.*

*Driving wildly, MarySue tries frantically to keep up with the bus. However, despite her efforts, Atross City rush hour is too much for even the wicked and MarySue loses sight of the bus.*

*MarySue curses repeatedly, venting her frustration on to the car's steering wheel.* Wait... *A smile creeps onto MarySue's lips.* Of course! I know where she's going...

To keep future events in order (just in case), I've stuck a link to 'Continuity' on the EG page. Please read and continue to enjoy your fictional status

*Zack watches the persuer fade into the distance*
Phew... I'm glad I didn't try to shoot her, too many civilians...
*Zack looks over his shoulder*
Now would be a good time to get OUT of first gear, Miss Endeavour.
*IE shrugs, Zack turns his attention to Ming*
Sorry we had to do that. We're kind of in a bind. Please try and forget about the whole gun pointing thing, it was a big mistake in hindsight. *puts his gun away* I'm Zack *holds out his hand* I hope we can be friends...*in a typical military way he looks like he learned and adapted his social skills from an inanimate object*

[HP}=~~

*looks at Zack's hand in terror and suspicion*

¦M¦

*looks at his hand*... this is a gesture of friendship.. you take the hand and you shake it... it does not hurt...

[HP}=~~

Err...
*watching Zack intently, Ming slowly reaches out and takes his hand*
*Zack holds her hand and shakes it firmly in a business-like manner*
*Ming seems to get even more worried, so Zack just drops her hand*
*Ming snatches her hand away quickly, but not in any way agressively*
*she continues watching him for movements towards the gun she now knows he's got*

¦M¦

*sees Ming's eyes veer towards his jacket pocket, he takes the gun out lightly, hanging it by his thumb and forefinger, and tosses it towards the front of the bus. He then shows her that he carries no other weaponary and looks at her expectantly*

Lets try this again. I am Zack. What is your name?

[HP}=~~

*watches the gun and makes sure she knows where it is*
*is very worried by Zack's behaviour*
Name?
I.. er... why do want to know my name?
Zack: Well, I've told you mine, why shouldn't you tell me yours? I've got to call you something.
*she thinks about this and decides it does make sense*
Ming: Well... ermm... OK, Ming. Call me Ming.

¦M¦

*Zack nods* Very well, Ming it is. *notices something odd about the bus...*

*...such as the lack of passengers*

So what brings you here... in a bus... by yourself?

[HP}=~~

Ming: Err... it's a long story. Circumstances. That sort of thing.
Zack: And what sort of circumstances would they be...?
Ming: Just circumstances, OK? *notices Zack's expression* Well... very odd circumstances.

¦M¦

*HPs evil retainer UH and associate stand around bouncing nervously from one foot to another outside the boss's office on acccount of their not having read the BL or having been given orders*

*HPs evil retainer UH and associate stand around bouncing nervously from one foot to another outside the boss's office on acccount of their not having read the BL or having been given orders*

*Back at EGHQ, a loud voice eminates from the accidental hole in the wall*

HP: Mr. Heavy, I have a job for you. I have some things that need to be picked up from my old secret headquarters in Atross. *hand UH an address for somewhere in uptown Atross City*. Be a darling and pick them up for me, would you?

*presses a few buttons and stares at his viewscreen intently* MarySue, progress report!

[HP}=~~

UH: Yessir mr paranoid at once my par-
HP: Out
UH: Yessir mr parano-
*exits the room quickly and heads for the garage. He is soon in the car*

Another! *MarySue shoots the order at the rough-looking barman and obligingly he pours more tequila into her awaiting shot glass. Swigging it back, MarySue wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and sighs* You just don't understand the pressure I'm under. *The barman - whose name is Steve - nods placatingly.* If I don't catch Insane Endeavour I've more than lost my job - I'm dead. Six-feet-under. Sleeping with the fishes. Dead. D.E.A.D. Dead. *Steve answers this with more tequila, and MarySue raises the now-full glass thankfully to her lips.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

It's him. *MarySue ignores Steve's startled looks and raises her wrist to reveal a metallic object beneath her sleave. She begins to talk to it* Mr HP. Progress report? Of course. I'm currently in the process of capturing our Miss Endeavour. I'm outside her apartment complex as we speak, where I am certain she will be arriving shortly. A girl needs a change of clothes. I asure you Mr HP, I will have her in custody, alongwith the defector... Zack... within hours. In fact, I believe I hear their bus coming in now.

-chazlet56

*Meanwhile and back a bit, Insane Endeavour's driving has stablised as she navigates the vehicle through the murky backstreets of Atross City Hutton district until she reaches a more recognisable road.
The baroque buildings are like that in any other, and the road front is lined with a few broken down shops, a seedy, dangerous-looking bar and dark door fronts on dark walls.*

Nowhere like home(!) *She pulls the bus up opposite the bar, towards which Zack looks longingly, but draws his attention back when he glances towards Insane, who is staring worriedly towards the broken door.*

Um, we could have a problem.

*She opens the bus door (knowing the area she takes the bus keys with her) and walks towards the block muttering. Zack follows, leaving Ming.*

It might be Sykes & Son. No one likes a tax collector. Yes, it must be them. HP can't know where I live... well he probably owns that department of Atross too, so maybe he does...

*Pistol clenched in her hands, she edges into the apartment block and rounds to the stairs. Bob's music is still playing loudly, the whole corridor reverberating to the beat. The continual clatter of computer keys from the solicitor's office can be heard, remembering the typing-stupor Roger Dempsey had always got into. The only office apartments quiet were hers and Sykes & Son.*

*IE notices the door to her apartment is ajar and, sighing, pushes it open, gun held out. The place is a tip, and it's not just Insane's untidiness either. Tables are upturned, glass smashed and paper scattered everywhere.*

Ok, where's the yellow pages?

>

*the words 'yellow' and 'pages' describe many of things that are strewn across IE's floor. Unfortunately, the ones that are most accurately described by both appear to not be in their original book form any more. While much of the ransacking seems to have been for an unknown reason, much more of it seems to have just been for pure, unadulterated, destructive fun*

[HP}=~~