h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*when finished, the pilot radios Atross City Airport to confirm the landing before breaking into a verse of Yankee Doodle Dandy*

[HP}=~~

*Insane Endeavour wonders
1) If this pilot is really American... [what American would sing both of those in a row...]
2) If this is a plot of HP's to get to her: driving her mad with these songs...
But decides she can't find out so not to worry.*

*Sighs with relief to see the approaching scene of Atross City Airport and the public health signs pointing towards the whole urbanisation.*

*Hopes vehemently that HP doesn't yet know she's within city airspace.*

>

*The plane is skilfully landed at a private runway. The pilot hops out without so much as a goodbye and walks casually towards the terminal*

Meanwhile...

*Ming heads towards city limits, the Atross City Bus Depot looms ahead, a somewhat dark and desolate hulk of post-modern architecture*

*somewhere on an island, a man considers playing golf*

*The plane is skilfully landed at a private runway. The pilot hops out without so much as a goodbye and walks casually towards the terminal*

Meanwhile...

*Ming heads towards city limits, the Atross City Bus Depot looms ahead, a somewhat dark and desolate hulk of post-modern architecture*

*somewhere on an island, a man considers playing golf*

[HP}=~~

*Ming turns into yet another dead end*
How many dead ends are there...?
*she turns round and continues in the direcion she was going*
*spots the Bus Depot and heads towards it*

¦M¦

*The Bus Depot manages to maintain its dark and desolate theme with some cunningly concieved interior design and lighting fixtures (or lack thereof). The vast amounts of space between the floor and ceiling creates the feel of being outside inside, and in fact feels more like being outside than being outside did. Heady petrol fumes hang in the still air and the floor visibly radiates grime. As expected, many buses lie within. Each appears to have its own individual number and destination, but none of them appear to want to go anywhere*

*Suddenly, from behind Ming there is a dazzling flash of light and a bowel trembling roar*

[HP}=~~

*sees bright light and drops into a sort of alert crouch and begins feeling around for something solid that could be used as a weapon*
*suddenly thinks staying still is not a good idea in bright light where she can be seen and dashes for a nearby bus, if only for cover*
*squints in an effort to find out what is causing the bright light and roar*

¦M¦

*the unexpected noise is caused by the starting of a very old, very used bus. The dazzling light also comes from this. An aged looking silhouette lurks in what appears to be the drivers seat. Nothing here is looking very new. However, there appears to be no good reason why this particular bus has decided to start*

[HP}=~~

*thinks that now is not a good time to get scared by her imagination*
*gets scared by her imagination*
*panics*
*tries to stop panicking and think clearly*
*starts moving towards what looks like an exit, keeping as many buses between her and the bus which has started*

¦M¦

*Frankie Roberto wanders in*

Hello, I'm a genius, not sure about the evil bit, but I could be converted...

Do I qualify?

*assumes Frankie wandered into HPs new super secret snazzy island headquarters (see backlog)*

*HP double-takes*
How on earth did you get here?
*thinks*
Cunning... very cunning... we need cunning here...

You'll do...*evil smirk*

*Meanwhile, back at the bus depot, the engine gradually dies, and someone coughs*

*ahem* Miss Mang, please don't be alarmed, you'll have more time for that later. Rest assured, I will not harm you.

*the old wizened figure steps out of the silhouette of the bus and into the path of the bus lights, which are so bright that they still manage to keep him in shadow*

I'm here to help you. You are here for a reason and you have to do something, something unavoidable. Something on a parallel with fate, destiny and the like. I should also warn you that exiting the building would be a bad thing to do at the moment

Am I making myself clear?

[HP}=~~

Wow, nice HQ.

I dunno how I got here, I forgot. I think I managed to guess the security lock. Either that or I flew in threw a hole in the roof...

*sits down in a bit of a daze*

*regards the figure suspiciously*
No! I'm not listening!
*heads for exit to see what's out there*
*tries to peer out without getting to near, just in case*

¦M¦

*enters, in customary graphic style, through the roof, which explodes inwards. Unfortunately, this time, its headfirst. heroic hero that he is, he still has a hangover. cue hilarius moanings*

*Insane Endeavour, praising the slow speed at which time passes in this neck of the woods, shakes herself out of her 4 week daze.*

Um, excuse me!!! *She calls to the pilot, not knowing where to go from here, or for that matter, what to do.*

*Runs to catch up with the pilot and jogs alongside his quick pace.*

*Panting.* Hey, slow down! You can't just leave me here! It's impossible to get out of this airport without directions, even if you >>do<< live in the city like me! And thanks, sir, for turning up at such a useful time! How did you know I was there? *Carries on like this for a couple of moments until she decides to let him answer.*

>

*the pilot shrugs* I didn't. Lucky for you, huh? *the pilot smirks*

[HP}=~~

*Gets an inexplicable, completely unpleasant shiver creep down her spine when she sees the smirk.*
You didn't? You didn't what? Know I was there? Yes, then, very lucky for me. *Realises how much she sounds like Arthur Dent and shuts up, excepting for one little question regarding how on earth to get out of the airport.*

>

Pilot: Just follow me, lady. Not for too long, mind you. I have important things to do. Important *secret* things which you, a civilian, shouldn't know about... I have my orders.. *continues his march towards the private airport terminal*

*Meanwhile, in HPs office*

Frankie Roberto:...Either that or I flew in threw a hole in the roof...

HP:*confused* What hole in the roof?

*Uncle Heavy bursts through the roof and lands headfirst*
*dust cloud settles*

HP: Oh... *regards the two with vague suspicion, looking to Frankie first* a psychic, eh? Well, that could come in quite handy... *looks to uncle heavy, who still hasn't got up yet...* You're the violent one, I take it? Well, we are rather lacking in the muscle department since the... foot incident *quickly changes subject*. Well, welcome aboard, glad to have you, you are now officially Evil Genii and may enjoy all the priveleges that bestows (basically you get to use the executive jacusi, but you have to clear that with me first..) However, I digress. I suppose you'll be wanting to know about the *ahem*... plan...?

*Meanwhile, in a Bus Depot on the outskirts of Atross City*

Old Wizened Figure: Miss Mang, you can't simply sit there, ignore everything and hope that in time it will all disappear. It simply doesn't work like that. You, and a few others have been chosen by the hand of fate itself to accomplish a task that no ordinary mortal could hope to achieve. You should be honoured in accepting your task, saying things such as 'I can only hope that I am worthy enough for this honour..' and so forth. *figure seems puzzled* Why are you not saying these things?

[HP}=~~

*walks to the door, fastens it open, climbs to the top of it and sits on the top of it*
*watches the space below her*
Go on then. What is this thing I'm supposed to be doing?

¦M¦

Old Wizened Figure: It doesn't involve sitting on doors... you can be quite sure of that...

[HP}=~~