h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You have a point here, Pan!

*looks around defiantly*

So, who will say to a lady what is the best to wear? Or let's put it that way - which is the optimal amount of clothes to wear?

*Spits out some bubbles*

Who would also have the courage to tell a lady if her bum looks big in her chosen attire, whatever the quantity... Or as my better half (so he likes to think!) on occasion says, "You're not going out like that are you?"

He's only said that the once though...

I like if they say that there can never be too much of something good.

Erm, or was it even enough...

I have a check list before I go public!
1.)teeth scrubbed
2.)hair brushed
3.)private parts covered
4.)are shoes required
5.)pits fresh
6.)cash & bar chips at ready
7.)car working
8.)check map for direction of Village
9.)stop at end of driveway to toss the cats out
10.) there is no 10.)

Say Gwennie...your hubby mightn't have so much pain if you'd stop smashing him with the skillet!
Are you tired of hanging around yet?

Hati, you look perfect!!

So long list!
I'd take only 1,3,5 and 10 of it.

1, 5, and 12 for me (12. Nailgun cocked, loaded, and properly stowed in my invisible boots) -- beyond that, it... anybody has a problem with what I'm wearing or the lack thereof, well, that's what 12 is for...

I forgot...gotta' have ALL body hair, from eyelashed down removed...unless, of course, I want to ensure I behave myself!

You picked the good un's Hati.

...*takes out note pad writes: remember to ask Gwennie how to braid leg hair...*

::tries not to think about that statement... fails miserably::

You leave my hairy tree trunks out of this Pan! Poor old Thog already has enough trouble not thinking about the effects of pregnancy and childbirth on a girl's body!

So Hatti...All dressed (or undressed) up and somewhere to go?

Well, er, you know, if they let a girl out of the darkest corner to the publicity... I just came out to see people and have drink.
And those animals there in the corner, I don't know... I mean I am for the animal rights but the pubs should go without filthy and stinking animals. I think so.

Do you want me to ask half the pub's customers to leave then?

HEY!!!!! Being that I am certainly one of the ones who would be asked to leave, I resent that...


Besides, we keep kicking those ING goats out of here -- I swear they must have their own private interdimensional wormhole into this place...

I swear there is at least one of the in the darkest corner!

Somehow I don't doubt it at all...

awwww we're all just a bunch of old goats!

Heh.

At least not *stinky* old goats!

Speak for yourself dearest!

Take a sniff of my latest perfume acquisition - its called Eau de Goat...

*Struggles free of her May pole bonds and raises an arm to expose a hairy armpit*

What? Well, if I don't shave my legs Pan, one would hardly expect me to bother wiv me pits!

*Watches with amusement as Thog turns a peculiar shade of white and passes out in shock*

...*Pandora dons a gas mask and approaches Gwennie with industrial hair remover...sprays from chin down...the ribbions begin to melt...hair begins to slime up the floor...*

holymotherofthedevil!! I never knew one small person could grow soooo much hair!?! ...*hurries back to barstool so her feet don't become slimed...*

Nice day, huh Hati? ...*wonders if Kes was able to remove the olive from his nasal passage...doesn't care...*

::impressed::