h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

YAY!!! MAYPOLE STUFF!!! AND BIRTHDAYS!!! YAY!!!

The bumps may be a special Gwennie thing to do for birthdays. If I were you I'd wear a raincoat or a plastic bag.

Here, have an while we wait to find out.

Dragonfly, here, you take this ribbon and I'll take this one and we will dance around the Maypole together. You go around that way, and I'll go around this way. Ready? Set... GO!

*Begins hobbling around the Maypole, kicking out every now and then to show its meant to be a dance. Her ribbon is winding around and around as she goes. She doesn't notice that Gwennie is in the way of the dance and is getting wound around with ribbon along with the pole.*

Whee! Tutti frutti, ah rootie!

*Is amused*

*Hands Englander the end of a ribbon as she dances spryly by him.*

Come on, E... no need to put down your


Wop pop a ban dong di fi fie fo ~

*Jumps up and tries flying a bit around the pole and the ribbon so it gets a few new colours and design - drops to the ground again*

Huh, this is fun

*At last she notices Gwennie who is now stuck good and tight under the ribbons against the Maypole!*







sings another oldie: ~ keep on dancin'! dancin' and a prancin'... c'mon E! fly baby! I didn't know you could do that!

My goodness...

Can I?

*drops to the ground*

...*the 'pill' having taken affect...Pan is quiet a happy camper...
...notices what looks like Gwennie being wrapped in loo paper...*
I wanna' do that to!!! ...*jumps of the bar stool......okay,
SLIDES off the bar stool and skips over to the pole...runs into the pole...luckily Gwennie's softer parts cushion the blow...takes a red, white and blue riccion and begins to skip around counter clockwise...* WEEEEEE!!! THUD! WEEEEEE!!THUD
WEEEEEEE!THUD! I was wondern' what that was! Sorry M-rae! ...*continues to dance around the May Pole...* Say, I remember Metal Chicken getting stuck inside the May Pole ribbons one years...what was it we did for him?!? Oh yes!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~...*returns with a large vat of mead and a VERY long straw...manages to wiggle the straw between the ribbons...* I say, I don't think Gwennie's wrapped to tight! ...*stick the straw into Gwennie's mouth...she begins to suck...Pan's hair goes into the straw & she has to pull her hair from Gwennie's gut &
out the straw...puts the straw into the mead...returns straw to Gwennie's mouth and returns to dancing around the Pole...*

*looks up... looks down... doesn´t nead any mead to feel stoned...*

*Muffled contented gurgles and slurps can be heard from under the May Pole ribbons and Gwennie wonders what the large squishy thing was that crashed into her*



I can't believe I have to explain what "the bumps" are!

Okay...Are you all sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin...

The person whose birthday it happens to be is waylaid and shoved into a prone position by a group of his/her friends (although by the end of the experience he/she probably won't look upon them as friends).

Said friends position themselves at their birthday victim's limbs (usually arms and legs and normally a pair of each unless they're an alien), which they then grab and proceed to hoist their friend into the air by his/her limbs to a great height for as many times as is the number of their birthday and then do one more just for luck.

"The bumps" were banned several times by my school, each time because someone was hurt during the experience (usually dropped or had a dislocated something or other).

*feels something bump into him... could be the experience of ground...*

::has several highly inappropriate thoughts::

Well, when I was a kid we did a spanking machine on birthdays. We all would line up and the birthday person had to crawl through our legs and we'd whack his or her backside as it presented itself.



Thog, you are going to have a great day!!!

*Her ribbon is now wound tightly around Gwennie and the Maypole. Gwennie's eye and a few grizzled strands of hair are exposed, along with the straw. Hobbles to the bar and fetches a milk shake. Holds it up for Gwennie to see. Laughs evilly. Replaces bowl of mead with a nice large that she was hiding behind her back. Goes in back of Gwennie and enjoys the milk shake herself.*



Pandora, I hope that pill wears off soon. I can't stand you this quiet. Makes me think that you are up to something...

*Hobbles over to where Englander is lying on the floor and nudges him with the tip of her cane.* Do you want a ? I'm just going over to the bar and I could get it for you.

yes... pleas Marirae.. please...

Well, all, I wish you a happy Cinco de Mayo and a merry weekend -- I am ALMOST OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (wo*k, that is) YEEEE

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\\

...*grabs a few of Thog's thoughts on his way out...*

Quiet?!? Moi'?!? That's a good un M-rae!

...*skips over to the jukebox...selects 42...giggles as she strolls past gwennie who seemingly has nodded off...tickels her eyelashes...no response...steps over E....looks down...nope, not even looking up my skirt...MUST be passed, er asleep...looks at M-rae's milk-stash...thinks it would be a kindness to tell th old gal to wipe her mouth...doesn't tell her...hops back onto her barstool...*

Bumps?!? Waaaall there goes my per-persept-persepti...the way I veiw the British type people...*sigh*...

...*takes another pill...*

*Slowly looks up... gets up... goes to the bar... *

*crawls out from the darkest corner, looks for a *

Oh boy! Isn't it bright here! Where is the bar?

*falls down being blinded by the light, loses one shoe and hurts her finger*

Here have the sunglasses...

What makes you leave the darkest corner? Something goat on your nerves there?