h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*GB dashes up to Kes
"I'm in charge....er....temporarily....er....OK...I'll see what I can do about romantic starry nights. Would you like to go help Kiddo? He's being stalked by a pteradactyl...."

Don't worry Kes...

Things will change when Mr.Sellars arrives here for his cameo...

BTW If you go to the Scottish Gathering page, you can have a glimpse of the divine F.C !!!

BTW2 Don't worry G.B I'll pop in every now & then (R.L intruding)...

M.K*

{Annie to Matthew} - good job you reminded me about RL....I have to take my son age 7 and my grandson age 3 to the Wacky Warehouse for a couple of hours...but I'll be back!

Thank you both. Yes, I have inspected the Edinburgh evidence.
A pterowhatsit indeed! How am I going to explain that to my beloved Peaceful. I mean, would YOU believe it?

aw.. you didnt like the stars coming out did you not Kes... sorry, but i thought if i'd knocked one of you unconcious you'd have equally been annoyed... i went with the cutesie option

and you've seen me... eek. if you ever want to say hello again i can be found at the following address...

FC's flat
Pearly Gates, nr. Heaven

Ummmmmmm
You asked for help in getting out of that "situation" didn't you, Kes?
To think, I set a pteradactyl on poos Kiddo.....just so you could go help.....

no.. i think that was me being the big bad marshall there.... sounds about right anyway!!!

*pops off to feed the pterodactyl...* dont say i'm not nice...

*Green Flash* Hi everyone, I'm back from a long weekend! How are things? Good to sea Kes and PE getting along well together! BTW, if anyone has anything important they want to say to me in my capacity as reporter please drop me a note at http://www.h2g2.com/F28113?thread=69375 *Green Flash*

Ummm, FC, hate to say it... you may have a problem feeding that big ol' dinosaur.
*resists the urge to make jokes about MK...*

did you not see the reward i gave???

and you young lady leave my Matt alone... *turns to Matt and mutters* oh i dont know... you give them a little bit and they come invading your jetty....

hehe... watch your back Tweet!!!

Well, I thank you all for your interest, concern and assistance. Please excuse me grumbling at you all. I should be more grateful - and I will be. (Very un-anorak thought coming up)
It was like taking a bath in winter - you don't want to get in there at first, so you find all sorts of excuses, but once you're in the hot water, you don't want to get out, so ....
If I go back to my little bedroom in my safe semi and I tell my Mum 5% of this she'll have a fit. Alright, that's it. You can go back to your caviare and bubbly now.

Ring, Ring.
Hello?
Ring Ring
Am I talking to myself again?
Ring Ring
Ring Ring
Pick up, pick up, dammit!
Ring ... Click
You have reached Poco Island Jetty. All of our Marshalls are IRW and can't take your call at the moment. We will now play you a looped tape of some unbelievably trite music. If you want to stop the tape and leave a message, you must press the Umlaut key. Our complaints department is closed for the year. We want to assure you that we really value your custom. If you leave your address we will send you some literature.

Hello? Look. It's bloody lonely out here - trying to get to the top of the postings "ratings" without so much as a word. Nobody here. Nobody on the island. I'm all alone.
Here ... wait a minute ... doesn't the last one on the island get US$1M? I'm the last - Can't we just skip the next few weeks? I'll give you a share ..
Hello?
Hello?

ROFL

Kes.. that could never be our answer phone message...

*soft sultry voice of FC*

Welcome to paradise... you have reached the home of M.K.* I'm sorry theres no-one here to take your call right now, but there really is too much sun... sand... .... sea (of course! ) to stay inside on the off chance someone will call....

Someone will no doubt be popping in later though to get some more sun-tan cream so if you could leave a message after the tone we'll try and get back to you *thinks as long as you're more important than keeping my sun-tan up*

*soft soothing tone* beep....


now that could work here! and there would be no annoying music silly!

Erm....Hello?
Anyone here?
Please??????
F.C.? I can hear your soft, sultry voice!
M.K*? Where ARE you?
I was just checking up on Peaceful Bay, and I could have sworn I saw GB!
YES!
The OTHER GB!
What do I do?
Do I welcome him with open wings? Order him off the island? Go and have second helpings of delicious left-over Pteradactyl steak with another side salad?
Thinks: Yes, I'll go with the last one. M.K* can take care of GB when he gets back...
*flutter of wings

right.. well at least thats got rid of the soldiers!

Hello?
Anyone here?
I need help!
Archangel Tweetie has gone missing!
I think she may be behind the rockface!

Hello? I'm back, and I went up to the waterfall, but it's all gone quiet, and ..

"...more suntan oil. Please leave your message after the tone. BEEEEEP"

Oh s**t

hehe... you still havent got the hang of technology have you...

* M.K gradually walks down the Jetty to see F.C & G.B sunning themselves on the deck chairs, now far be it for him to make an issue of it, but he has never been short when it comes to handing out advice on others shortcomings...

Heavens Above !!! I leave you incharge of the Island, and I find on the hotels suite television center that it's been invaded !!!

No wonder I have to be the stern one !!!

* He calms down noticing the sorrowful expression on G.Bs face... *

Look, I'm sorry. My programme entitled 'Flying High with the Concorde' has just been rejected, even after I retitled ' Graceful Bird or Flying Deathtrap !!!'. I'm now in a considerably foul mood...

M.K*